Help! My new dream job is already a nightmare!

After several years of misery, I finally left a really toxic job situation. It was the best decision ever, something all my friends spent years telling me to do, and I felt like a new man afterwards.. Now I'm a couple weeks into a new job. On paper this looked like my absolute dream job in every way. They even had a role lined up for me in my dream city, after a few weeks of training at home.

But the reality is that after two weeks I"m already completely miserable and dreading going in. It is a small family owned company and the boss is a complete witch. All the managers are extremely verbally abusive and just go around shouting at people all day for no real reason. The work hours are pretty extreme as well. In ten years of working I have never had a legit bad manager until now, so I don't think I'm just being overly sensitive. I've also had jobs that I really loved, so I don't think that I just hate working.

I already want to quit, but it feels ridiculous to want to leave my "dream job" so soon. The complicating factor is this company has a role for me in my dream city in a few weeks. But I would have to relocate there out of my own pocket. I was willing to do that before, but now I am really hesitant to relocate there, burn through the last of my savings for that move, and further trap myself in this horrible situation. I'm not even sure I will last long enough to get there. I'm sure this week will be full of more verbal assault.

I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, if I should try to stick this out, or if I should jump ship asap and hope there is another way to find decent paying employment in my dream city (and/or at home before i run out of savings).

Advice?

Sorry things didn't turn out. Doesn't sound like a good fit or pleasant work atmosphere. It's fine to decide after a trail run that this is torture. Get your resume updated and start looking around.

the boss is a complete witch.

If you don't have comfortable savings to live on while you find another job, then I suggest you suck it up and keep working until you find another job.

As for the bad manager, if you move locations won't you have other people there and perhaps a different environment? Either way, if you are dying to move to that city, it's a good opportunity and frankly, easier to find another job once you are already there and currently employed.

This sucks to discover so early on, but perhaps a blessing in disguise.

I worked for a small family company with abrasive people and some were brothers. Seemed ok for the first few months, then I got stuck in the middle of some arguments.

For some reason, I stayed for 3 years. I totally regret staying there for so long. Some of the toxic attitude spilled into my vocabulary and general attitude.

My advice is to jump ship. You want a job that is more than good on paper.

yes, i don't understand how you would further trap yourself with the move--- wouldn't you be working with different staff there?

all i can tell you my new dream job (last year) quickly turned into a nightmare too, and i also have a great history with previous employers, so not like i take every job as hell and every boss as satan. i rationalized about it so long, jumping hoops to do the absolute best on my end, but with some people, you just can't. it is more difficult to switch jobs now, as i've let opportunities pass in hopes that if i accept the challenge and strive for harmony it will pay off. they have a history of this behavior and people leaving the job quite dramatically and i blinded myself to that.

when you see hell, don't kid yourself. keep your options open and look for better opportunities.

my experience is that the smaller the organization, the less room for growth there is, and this seems particularly true of family owned businesses. far less flexibility there, they are rigid in their dysfunctional roles.

if you think you can't escape their influence by relocating, start an intense search for a different job and until you find one, suck it up and lay low.

Thanks for the replies so far. I would still have the same nightmare boss out there. She tends to pester me on phone and email all morning before coming into work and repeating the process in person all afternoon. I anticipate the distance won't stop her irrational outbursts and if anything, she'll be worse because she can't control everything as easily. It's actually a new facility they are setting up. I'm not sure how easy job searching wil be out there either with this role, zero time off and probably a lot of required weekends

Go there on a day off or take a day off and visit that location. If you get a great feeling, then just stick it out for a few weeks.

Suck it up - it will pay off in the end.

Just my opinion, but it's not a good sign that they expect you to pay for your relocation.

It seems clear that you've decided this company is not for you. Good! So you're going job hunting no matter what. The real question is whether you relocate, and if so, how you can do that affordably.

Are there lots of job opportunities in the new city? If so, you can totally swing this. If not, you'll need to hold off and find a new job where you are. You can always move there later, with more time, planning, and savings.

Let's say there are tons of jobs in the new city. I think I would store my furniture locally, and rent a room in the new location. I'm assuming you have a car and would drive there, taking only what you need. This will keep your costs to a minimum, which gives you an escape hatch if you need it. If your cost of living is only $1,000 a month for example, then that's all you have to make temporarily. Keep your living costs as low as reasonably possible.

Once in the new location, have a daily scheduled phone meeting with the witch boss. Include others, if possible, as this might keep her temper at bay. (It might not, I don't know.) It's a reasonable request, as you have a new location to set up and run. You want to be successful and keep them in the loop at the same time, so this suggestion should be accepted, if not adored, lol. You can also set up a time each day to respond to her emails. She may not like it, but it sounds as though she doesn't like much of anything, so you've got nothing to lose. Set your schedule, let them know what it is and why you're doing it - lie if you have to, but assure them your ultimate goal is total success, no less. Dazzle them with your vision so that you have room to maneuver.

If you can control your days, then you can carve out time for a job hunt. Maybe you do it on your lunch hour, every day. Maybe you do it after hours by joining local business network groups. Maybe both, and other ideas, too.

For me, I'd try for the triple win. I'd try to make a go of the new location, get another job after that, and be living in the city I want. A witch boss is never going to be easy, but the distance should give you some breathing room from the fiery dragon flames.

Once you are secure in a new job, find a place you want and have your furniture moved. You might not even want half of your stuff later on, and you can sell it or donate it in your old city. The less stuff you move, the cheaper it gets. Also, it's more expensive to move in the spring/summer.

The key thing here is to act, not react. It's your life and your career. You might have to suffer for a while to get what you want, but it can be done.

Thanks for the thoughtful advice, and especially the solid strategy at keeping the boss at bay. I really appreciate it. This week definitely solidified my decision to not stay with this company long.

My biggest concern is how to find a job while i'm at this one. I wont have any time to interview in the day, and wont really have any time off. And I can't put it on my resume, but at the same time it will be awkward trying to explain my situation to prospective employers without looking like a flake.

I will probably delay ending my lease at home for now, and find a cheap room to rent out there for a couple months. I cant commit to moving my life (out of my pocket) for this miserable company.

i'll go out there and work for a bit to get my finances a little better. I think the workload will be extreme and finding time for interviews etc will be almost impossible, so I may have to quit first once my funds are good enough. I've always heard it's easier to find a job while you are employed, but i've never found that to be the case.

Then I can look for a new job out there (since ill have a local address) and at home. Doubles my odds of employment.

How do I deal with such a short stint on my resume? If i leave it off, the gap on my resume will be really big. If I put it on, the fact that I left after only maybe 3 months will look really flakey.

Any suggestions??

Thanks for the thoughtful advice, and especially the solid strategy at keeping the boss at bay. I really appreciate it. This week definitely solidified my decision to not stay with this company long.

 

My biggest concern is how to find a job while i'm at this one. I wont have any time to interview in the day, and wont really have any time off. And I can't put it on my resume, but at the same time it will be awkward trying to explain my situation to prospective employers without looking like a flake.

Most employers understand that you've already got a job, and many employers will respect your work ethic when you say you can't interview from 8-5, or whatever. They will work around you. I've heard of 6am interviews at coffee shops, and 6pm interviews over dinner. If a potential company is not willing to be flexible about your schedule, then what is that saying about how they treat employees?

Remember, they will be judging you and how you will treat them by the way you treat your current company. When you are upfront and honest about your time limitations, it shows that you take your responsibilities seriously. Be casual about it, say something like your time isn't very flexible right now, and would it be ok to meet before or after work?

As for your resume, make this work for you. Simply say that you realized early on it wasn't a good fit, but you went forward with your commitment to opening the new location. Once that was done, you felt it was best to move on. You can make yourself sound like a "flake" by discussing the disillusionment over the dream job, or you can highlight your dedication and commitment. Your call.

And when you talk about fit, just mention work styles or goals or something vague.

Thank you. You make me feel better that I'll still be able to find something new and wont be permanently trapped in this job, or avoided by other companies for wanting to leave so soon.