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Thread: Family Rift because of Trump - PLEASE help.

  1. #11
    leseine7
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    thanks so much for the insights, everyone. I ALSO have been sick of the chaos and endless strings of political news lately, but I also believe it is important to be aware and to stand up when things are very hard. But regardless, I feel ya and I was trying to be safe in voicing those things among my friends and family, where they were also vocalising their statements.

    My cousin is a very temperamental and aggressive person and we have had more than one falling out in the 32 years of being practically siblings. But we have also had some wonderful times and I have that loyalty thing in me when it comes to family.

    For now, after discussing it with my other family members (my sister and brother, who have already voiced concerns about him and our other cousins), I decided to leave it alone and get space from that side of the family. He has chosen to close off and the message is clear he wants no communication so I will respect it. But it shook me miserably today and made me take a very hard look at my relationships with my family. In the end, I want less conflict, not more - and you guys are right that it would most likely provoke a heavy argument or something rather than a peaceful convo.

  2. #12
    Fudgie
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    I think you are right to leave it alone. Your cousins sounds reactive and kind of dim-witted. If you want to extend an olive branch later, that's up to you but I would wait for him to come to you first, since he was the one to sever contact, not you.

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  4. #13
    RainyCoast
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    yeah i was thinking you weren't so much dealing with a person who takes issue with sociopolitical topics as a person with a tendency to go against people in general. i'm glad the rest of the family sees he can be quick to pull the trigger.

    if he ever adopts a more pleasant approach to people, you may be able to continue the friendship. until then, i think you're right to leave it be.

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  6. #14
    faraday
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    It's tough. I'm up in canada, so the politics aren't quite as relevant (we didn't vote in your election)...and these equality issues are the bone of contention in my relationship with my father. It's been crazy over the last year watching my dad turn into someone I don't know...I'm seeing racist and sexist comments coming from him where I didn't before...it's like now it's okay to say things- like thank god we don't have to be PC anymore. And I try to only talk about the humanitarian issues as well....but I still get fake news sent to me from my dad (like actual fake news- and I try to explain about sourcing news...and he responds that mainstream media all lies). It's really hard. I just want everyone to be treated with kindness and equality. I want my Muslim neighbours to be and feel safe. I want my gay friends and family to feel and be safe. I want myself, my daughter, my friends and family- to have choices in their lives, to be paid the same as men...I want my daughter to be safe when she older and drinking at parties...I don't want to have to teach my daughter the weariness that is necessary to prevent sexual assault.

    But those things are too PC.

    I know your struggle leseine, but I have no idea what you do about your cousin.

    But I do wish you luck....and keep fighting for your friends and family...fight for the people that are too scared to fight back. This is a battle that we cannot lose.

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  8. #15
    Wiseman2
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    Review your FB setting an only allow certain people to see certain things. Block anyone who flames you.
    Quote Originally Posted by leseine7 [Register to see the link]
    The family members in question ripped me a new one.

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    Coily
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    Political discussions since about 2006 have really become just flame fests. What seems to make the difference is the tone in which the discussion starts, most Americans have become very pointed in accusing the opposition on even the most simple topics. There could be a point of agreement, but that so often gets blown out of proportion due to the dismissive attitude often taken.

    Hyperbolic Example: Only dim-witted morons who hate hedgehogs say pah-tay-toe, thank science that Super George types like me say pah-taa-two.

    Needless to say someone will feel attacked and react in a similar way, or more aggressively so they don't feel as backed into a corner. That said don't give up your way of stating opinion, but just ask yourself "Is this how I want someone with an opposing view treating me?

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    HeartGoesOn
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    Thread closed.

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