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Thread: Shattered confidence

  1. #11
    eNotUser
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    Quote Originally Posted by evad1 [Register to see the link]
    You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the "present.” kung fu panda Not to sound corny but it's so true. One day you're going to die so you gotta get it together so you'll have something memorable to leave behind. I don't know you but I'm in a sucky place too in my life and I decided recently I can't keep living like this. I'm trying new things constantly and opening myself up to the world not so much to people lol. Maybe you can go back to school?
    At my age with three degrees I have no intention on ever returning to University. The main problem is that after everything in graduate school I really closed off and have been almost entirely isolated from everyone. On one hand I like not having to worry about trying to mess with social dynamics. On the other it would be nice to have someone to do something with. Outside of work I don't really speak to people beyond the absolute minimums to maintain life in contemporary society (cashiers at stores, dealing with tech support, etc)

  2. #12
    evad1
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    Quote Originally Posted by eNotUser [Register to see the link]
    At my age with three degrees I have no intention on ever returning to University. The main problem is that after everything in graduate school I really closed off and have been almost entirely isolated from everyone. On one hand I like not having to worry about trying to mess with social dynamics. On the other it would be nice to have someone to do something with. Outside of work I don't really speak to people beyond the absolute minimums to maintain life in contemporary society (cashiers at stores, dealing with tech support, etc)


    I wouldn't go back to school either lol. I see the problem. Join a forum. I joined a car forum recently. I currently have no way of meeting new people. I have to say even though it's not a In person thing it is so nice to have people to talk that share the same interest. There are apps you can use to meet friends I tried one lol it sounds kind of sad but you do meet cool people online. It's better than being alone with your own thoughts. No one is going to judge you because everyone is there for the same reason.

  3. #13
    eNotUser
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    My major problem is that I have no real confidence. I can't even "fake it" without feeling like a failure. So I tend to shut down and close off entirely. I can't figure out how to get out of this mindset.

  4. #14
    Lovelorn2016
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    Quote Originally Posted by eNotUser [Register to see the link]
    In 2012 I attended graduate school and a series of events during my time there which included relationships completely shattered my confidence. It was so bad that I had to drop out of the PhD program because continuing there was simply to embarrassing to continue there given my status as one of the "losers" so-to-speak. My academics were great and there was no problem getting scholarships and a stipend, but it was too humiliating to stay there. So I grabbed my master degree and in the workplace I can barely function. I'm out of place, I don't fit in, my performance is abysmal by my standards (I won the best research award for the department in Mol. Bio. and I felt as though my research wasn't that great so my standards are a bit high).

    I don't know how to snap out of it because my life is really crumbling underneath my feet. The level of misery in my life has never been this great.
    I've been sorta going through a similar situation, but it sounds like your situation may be a bit more urgent. I know it's hard to make that first call to maybe get evaluated by a professional, but if you have the courage in you to do that, it would be your most successful way to solve this issue. Otherwise there are always self help books out there that may or may not be the answer.

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  6. #15
    evad1
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    Quote Originally Posted by eNotUser [Register to see the link]
    My major problem is that I have no real confidence. I can't even "fake it" without feeling like a failure. So I tend to shut down and close off entirely. I can't figure out how to get out of this mindset.
    That sounds kind of like me. My supervisor is always telling me to stop overthinking before I speak. When I don't over think though I always end up telling a really bad joke lol. You sound smart. What are you into? Are you going to be tuning in for the super bowl?

  7. #16
    eNotUser
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    Quote Originally Posted by evad1 [Register to see the link]
    That sounds kind of like me. My supervisor is always telling me to stop overthinking before I speak. When I don't over think though I always end up telling a really bad joke lol. You sound smart. What are you into? Are you going to be tuning in for the super bowl?
    Yeah I've heard that advice to. It is good but hard to implement if you're inside your head too much. I'm not watching the Super Bowl and I live in Houston! The city is a bit crazy over it. Right now I recently bought an old school Game Boy to play games and try to have fun like I did in my childhood. Currently I'm not persuing any intellectual endeavors although there are a few books I want to read including The Gulag Archipelago

  8. #17
    evad1
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    I can imagine. I live in Atlanta so The pride over here lol. Football isn't for everyone lol. What are you into? I'm looking forward to the NASCAR series coming up? The gray game boy?!?! What games do you have? I still have my old game boy color and it still works!!!!

  9. #18
    evad1
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    Quote Originally Posted by eNotUser [Register to see the link]
    Yeah I've heard that advice to. It is good but hard to implement if you're inside your head too much. I'm not watching the Super Bowl and I live in Houston! The city is a bit crazy over it. Right now I recently bought an old school Game Boy to play games and try to have fun like I did in my childhood. Currently I'm not persuing any intellectual endeavors although there are a few books I want to read including The Gulag Archipelago
    I may have to read this now. Looks like a very interesting read. lol I haven't really don4 much reading since college.

  10. #19
    eNotUser
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    Quote Originally Posted by evad1 [Register to see the link]
    I can imagine. I live in Atlanta so The pride over here lol. Football isn't for everyone lol. What are you into? I'm looking forward to the NASCAR series coming up? The gray game boy?!?! What games do you have? I still have my old game boy color and it still works!!!!
    It's actually the Game Boy Advance. There were a lot of fun games on it. Recently I've been working so much (~55 hours a week) I don't have time for much. I've been trying to just relax by doing much of nothing.

  11. #20
    evad1
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    Quote Originally Posted by eNotUser [Register to see the link]
    It's actually the Game Boy Advance. There were a lot of fun games on it. Recently I've been working so much (~55 hours a week) I don't have time for much. I've been trying to just relax by doing much of nothing.
    Messaged you!

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