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I think I'm dying.


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Since I was born I always knew 2 things: 1) You will die young , and 2) You will be forever alone. And I wasn't that wrong, I've never had a girlfriend, never kissed in my 23 years, and the other important stuff, I'm diagnosed with disease which can lead to rectal cancer. The thing is that I have some simptoms which include simptoms of cancer: 1) I sleep a lot. 2) I can't sleep in cetain time 3) I'm VERY tired 4) I'm very weak 5) I have problems with my "stool". I was on colonoscopy about 4 weeks ago, everything was fine. But I feel that something's wrong with my body. Every medical test and resault turned out fine, but I still feel that something isn't right. Few days ago I had nightmare and I saw myself on surgery, and I saw my death. And about few moments later I was traveling into the light ... and then I woke up in pain. I know something isn't right, but no one believes me. My doctor did everything they could and they sent me home without being worried. Am I paranoid or?

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Have you seen a psychiatrist about that? Sometimes the mind can go awry if the brain chemistry is imbalanced and produce some of the thoughts you are having. Only a doctor can help you with that. Now that you are assured you colon is ok, see if brain chemistry is causing those other things.

Am I paranoid or?
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When the mind can take no more the immune system is greatly affected , which is why a lot of people with mental health problems also suffer with things like chronic fatigue and M.E ( I have been diagnosed with both and I believe the mental trauma I have suffered over the last 5 years is the result of this ) mental = physical ....look into it .

 

Thanks for post. I will try to do my best with this. Tnx for info.

 

Perhaps, you should find someone new. This sounds psychological.

 

My psychiatrist is teacher on medical collage, I trust her with my life. We kinda found ourself on doctor-pacient level, and I don't feel like I will be conected with someone else on that level as I was with her.

 

We talk a lot, so ... about everything, but she is on vacation last ~10 days.

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i am the same. have been for 32 years. i am still here but have in the meanwhile buried my entire family- to much of my astonishment, since i thought my multiple conditions would end me first.

 

have you had any bowel resections so far? chron's will give you all the symptoms you're having, if that's what you have, as will many chronic illnesses.

 

regular checkups should ease your mind, so that you know whether you're developing fistulas or abscesses or anything else.

 

living with chronic illness is a good breeding ground for depression, anxiety and other mental health problems. if the fear is too bad, seek some help for that.

 

perhaps the light was something else? i have had what people call near death phenomena in the surgery room, as do many people. my surgery and recovery went well too. so it's worth noting that kind of phenomena happens to people who are nowhere near imminent death too.

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oh luv that's a huge procedure. of course you're scared and having these dreams. definitely talk to someone to destress while you're waiting. is your surgeon helpful, explaining the procedure to you, and the recovery process? i would trust mine to do anything, if i needed a procedure tomorrow i would be as calm as one gets before surgery. it is priceless to have staff you trust.

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If you have no polyps on colonoscopy that's a good sign. Do your parents have colon problems?

 

My uncle died of rectal cancer, my father has polyps, my grandma died of rectal cancer so... it in family.

 

EDIT

 

I was in hospital 3 times before last colonoscopy, all my polips were removed in few times. I had it in rectum and in stomach. Don't know english word for that part of body.

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It's best if you think and act positively. Don't let this become a self fulfilling prophecy, enjoy your life. Make sure you're eating healthy, (especially in your case) I would avoid any processed foods. Keep your digestive tract clean!!

 

The gym can help you build strength, you can do a lot of light exercise that keeps you moving and feeling good. If you're feeling paranoid get a second or third opinion (to put your mind at ease).

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I have all those same problems you do and I sometimes feel as though I'm dying as well. For the most part we are both probably wrong. Especially since you've seen a doctor to ensure that you are in fact fine. This might be some form of hypochondriac. I am one as well. I literally go to the doctor for the same problem every year. I'm convinced there's a tumor growing behind my left eye and I've been told by 6 different doctors that my eye is fine lol.

 

Try not to worry!

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