Confused by Ex-Boyfriends signs and driving me mad!

Hi all,

I'm looking for a bit of guidance and advice really of anyone who has been in this position before. Basically, me and my ex boyfriend were together for 2 and a half years and it was amazing, although I moved into his after 6 months in due to family arguments it was the best relationship ever. Felt like a princess, took away on holiday, had perfect relationship with his family members and nephews just amazing! We split September 2016 and we started having problems 6 months prior as we just didn't bother havin sex anymore, we never spent time together, had petty arguments so I started to go out more with my friends as she became very manipulative, controlling and used to make me feel about myself and guilty about stuff I didn't do and blame his behaviour on me. Whenever I went out with my best friend I used to stay at hers as it was easier than walking home alone or spending loads of money on a taxi. It was emotionally abusing and tore me down. We were due to go away to America and thought we will review this and sit down about it all when we're back as we discussed kids and our own home. The holiday way amazing and we got on fine. The day I got back was my birthday so I already arranged to see my best friends at the weekend(which my ex boyfriend knew about) but the Sunday when I came Home he had gone out so I text him Saying we need to talk when your home and his reply was 'no need it's over, life's too short to be in an unhappy relationship' so I was sat upstairs all day crying gobsmacked wanting to work this out not end it. He didn't even come to talk upstairs when he got in. Three days past and we slept in desperate beds and argued too and then he said 'I think you best move out'. Again I was shocked so I moved into my dads down the road to sleep on the sofa, he was fine with me while I was beggin to sort it out although he ended it because I went out too much. I was signed off work by the doctors for depression for 2 months then work would not have me back so I lost my job. My ex allowed me to collect my things each week whilst just sitting their crying and not saying a word. A month past and after contact every day my ex said 'I don't know what I want so I would rather you move on and if you meet someone who makes it happy go for it' and we didn't speak for 2 months. I had a fumble with someone else but I was single with no intention of me and my ex getting back together and enjoying the single life. My ex decided to hack into my Facebook one day, see messages from this other guy and post it on his social media making out I was seeing this guy whilst sorting things out with him which was not true. We then didn't speak for another month until I was coming out of a club one night on my own and he was stood there on his own and we just walked into each other's arms, got into a taxi and went to his. Had a little arguement, made up and got on like nothing had happened and had sex and spent the rest of the day with him after (which was Christmas Eve). He then met me again for a meal sex and chat about 5 times all over Xmas and new year and I told him I was planning to move to Italy to clear my head of everything and find happiness in myself. He is currently on dating sites but told me he has no intention of seeing anyone else it was to annoy me & we spoke for the first week I moved out to Italy and then he used to make petty little comments which would mean we wouldn't talk for a day or so until I text him. And then we last spoke 1 week ago and I didn't text him back as the conversation was poor from him end like he was to occupied or bored to talk. He blocked me on FB as seeing lads like my pictures upset him. still to this day he hasent told me if he wants to be with me or not but told me loads of times he misses me and loves me (when we met up before). I have decided I am not going to message him as I'm made it clear what I want and I am only hurting myself. I lost so much and he just carried on with life with his dream job,

Got a new car and watch and I lost my job, Home, slept on a sofa, looking after poorly mum and dad and had to sell my car for money before coming to Italy. I don't know if he wants me back but is just 'givin it time' while I'm away, if he doesn't want me back but was just being polite when he was talking to not end it on bad terms or if he wants me to chase him or if he's preoccupied with another girl. I'm trying to find my happiness alone in Italy and all I do every night is cry because we had no real reason to split. I lost it all and he still has all he has and still treats me like this and he said he loves me ? I don't undertand what he wants cause he won't tell me but why should I keep making the effort when he ended it also? It's so hard espeically when your on your own In foreign country trying to move on for the better. Will he come back and regret it when I've moved on or has he already moved on? Help

Not sure if you want each other or not, more like wanting to get it out of each other by hurting each other. Makes sense?

Make it work. Help each other to make it work.

All you have to do is speak the words. I love you please let us make this work. If he doesn't feel the same, get back to your feet by moving on. Maybe hard at first but new city can give you that deviation of thoughts.

He broke up with you, kicked you out of his place, strung you along and left you confused and broken. That doesn't sound like love to me, even though he may have used those words.

I'm so sorry he put you through this. I think your best bet is to move on, as keeping him in your life will likely result in more mistreatment.

How awesome is it that you're in Italy? Learn the language, see the sights, and find things to distract you from your heartbreak.

Thank you for both of your advice. I feel the same in he sense that how can someone who loves you do that to you but I guess I don't want to believe that when it's a shame to think that you had so much and for no reason he gave it all away. I sort of just want to move on with my life and find happiness in myself and find my confidence and independence but I also want him to message me in a few months time and go 'sorry I wanna sort it out' so I can be i can have the choice then like he had had and actually say 'no I'm sorry but I don't want you'. Because I think he will always expect me to be there.

There's no worse feeling that not being wanted and maybe if he come back to me and I said no to him ' he would realise he can't treat people like that who you 'love'. Because even to this day he blames his insecurities on me, he blames the break up on me, he blames my mum and dad being ill because of me, he says he shouldn't make the effort to get back with me as it was my fault

Thank you for both of your advice. I feel the same in he sense that how can someone who loves you do that to you but I guess I don't want to believe that when it's a shame to think that you had so much and for no reason he gave it all away. I sort of just want to move on with my life and find happiness in myself and find my confidence and independence but I also want him to message me in a few months time and go 'sorry I wanna sort it out' so I can be i can have the choice then like he had had and actually say 'no I'm sorry but I don't want you'. Because I think he will always expect me to be there. There's no worse feeling that not being wanted and maybe if he come back to me and I said no to him ' he would realise he can't treat people like that who you 'love'. Because even to this day he blames his insecurities on me, he blames the break up on me, he blames my mum and dad being ill because of me, he says he shouldn't make the effort to get back with me as it was my fault