"I love you"

I think I've really lost a lot of respect for the phrase "I love you" I feel like people overuse it so much and it's really hard to understand if it means anything or not. People say that they love a pair of shoes, or a purse, or a type of food, and then use the same words to describe how they feel about a person. I'm so confused about this. My ex told me he loved me until the day he left me. I know that I used it a lot when I didn't mean it in that very same relationship even after I had fallen out of love and wanted to leave. So I've even used it when I didn't mean it. I would tell him I loved him with a lot of guilt. I had another guy who told me he loved me after one day of dating (that lasted less than a week.) Now I'm with someone else who tells me he loves me every day all the time, and I say it back and I do mean it, but I'm just not trusting of him saying it. I feel like a lot of people just say it to say it. I told him that I felt like there wasn't a lot of meaning to telling someone that you love them because of this and it upset him. I know my family means it when they say it, but with other people I really just don't trust it. What if the person I'm with right now is just saying it too? He definitely shows that he does, but I still feel like this. People overuse I love you way too much it's hard to know what's real and what's not. How can I get over this?

You are you, your boyfriend is your boyfriend, the two of you use those words in a way that is consistent with your own feelings and understanding of what the words mean to you. How other people use it is not relevant.

Also why place so much weight on it, if you trust this guy has genuine feelings for you and vice versa, why isn't that enough? Why does it even matter when and how the words are said? Just take it as a nice gesture, and expression of feelings, and get over it.

Of course he's upset, you are basically telling him he's lying and you don't trust him. If so, why bother dating him, might as well end it now. You can work through your own issues, he shouldn't need to be subject to your distrust and be hurt by it.

What if the person I'm with right now is just saying it too? He definitely shows that he does, but I still feel like this. People overuse I love you way too much it's hard to know what's real and what's not. How can I get over this?

I think you are looking for more certainty than is possible in the context of a relationship. Your current boyfriend's loving words and actions indicate that he does indeed love you, but because you've been hurt before you are distrustful and skeptical.

Step one of getting over this is to verbally acknowledge when he expresses love for you, even if you are afraid of being hurt. Going through the motions of saying, "I love you, too" will work a lot better than continuing to question him about what he really means when he says that. The problem here isn't with his love, it's with your ability to feel it. Don't make him pay for the sins of the boyfriend who left you. And don't drive his love away with continued skepticism.

Step two is to find a way to heal from past wounds. This looks different for everyone, but it might involve therapy or self-help books, journaling, exercise or spiritual work. Even a good friendship or fun hobby can help you increase your self-confidence and willingness to be vulnerable. It may be that all you need is time to learn to trust again.

These two above posts helped me actually - I too am so skeptical and suspicious too for the same reasons. I think gebaird hits the nail on the head in saying theres no more certainty that can be offered in the context of a relationship. I'm also searching for certainty all the time in these situations, because of having been burned in past relationships. It makes you overthink everything including love. My advice is to just take a step back and not overthink it, and take his word for it. That's the only thing you can do- at least to maintain a healthy relationship.