Going on vacation with Ex-Boyfriend

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago after dating for two weeks. We fell head over heels for each other, but due to my insecurities and his emotional state we ended up breaking up. He jumped into a relationship with me after being broken up with his long time (2 years) ex for only 2 weeks. (I found this out while we were dating) I know he isnt over her and he admits this as well. He states this as the reason why he can't date right now. Its not that its me, its dating anyone at all. At this time we have agreed to remain friends. We have been hanging out as friends for the past month and although I still have feelings for him I know he is in no place to be in a relationship right now. He is still pretty "broken" as he describes it from his last relationship. I am not waiting around for him to be ready to date me so I have already been seeing other people and he is aware of this. He on the other hand is not dating anyone and says he does not want to date anyone to focus on healing himself. I really care about him and want to see him get better. Prior to breaking up, I asked him to go on a vacation to mexico with me that my company organized for their employees (we are allowed to bring one other person). We have both still agreed to go on the trip together still as just friends. Secretly I am hoping that a change in scenery will help him heal and see whats in front of him. I know that thats being illogical, but i still truly care about him and I know he cares about me. He is just still emotionally unavailable as a result of his last relationship. Is this a bad idea to still go on a trip together? Will it help him heal? Or am I just being irrational and should put myself first?

Sorry to hear this. Are you fwb or in the friendzone? It may be a romantic trip, however consider going as fwb, because he's not going to suddenly heal from beaches, palm trees and margaritas.

It may provide a good distraction for him, but that's all. It's good you are dating others. Why not ask someone else to go? You can't buy love or relationships with gifts, trips, etc.

Do you have any friends, family, etc. who you could have a good time with and that won't lead to a huge let down when you get back? Or go alone so you can have fun being single?

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago after dating for two weeks. I know he isnt over her and he admits this as well. He states this as the reason why he can't date right now.We have both still agreed to go on the trip together still as just friends. Secretly I am hoping that a change in scenery will help him heal and see whats in front of him.

Just strictly friends. As much of a spark as their is between us, I have stayed adamant that we don't do anything physical that could mess with my emotions. He agrees and is a complete gentleman. Thing is, we very much enjoy each others company so I believe we would both still have fun even as friends. I am not trying to buy his affections, but I do truly care for him as a person and I think some time away would help him clear his head a bit. Maybe not have a complete epiphany, but at least bring him some sort of happiness and help him relax.

I'm not expecting him to realize that he wants to be with me after this trip, just want to help him get over his ex. He's stated many times over and over again that if it weren't for how badly his ex had left him so broken, he and I would be dating right now and be pretty serious. He is so broken and I see it. Long story short, he moved across the country for this girl only to have her repeatedly cheat on him and to end up getting pregnant by an ex then trying to pass it on as his child, but ultimately got an abortion. So, its some pretty heavy crap that he dealt with. He wasn't expecting to meet someone like me so quickly after the break up but since he did he wanted to make it work instead of just letting the opportunity pass. But obviously the wounds are still fresh and he is still hurting from them.

Try not to fix him up so he's more relationship-ready. Most of all try not to get hurt or disappointed.

You seem over-involved and over-invested in his breakup.

Keep in mind he dumped you after 2 weeks of dating and just wants a shoulder to cry on, not a relationship...as he has repeatedly stated.

I think some time away would help him clear his head a bit. Maybe not have a complete epiphany, but at least bring him some sort of happiness and help him relax. just want to help him get over his ex.

So get him sloshed on the beach and hope for the best? I think you come out of this disappointed in one of two ways.

1. "Scenery" does succeed in bringing him around for any portion of the trip, only for the flight back home to sober him up in many ways, feelings included.

2. He genuinely does treat the whole trip as one between friends. Maybe does some lounging and meals together but otherwise exercises his own liberty to come and go to activities and the room as he pleases. In which case, realistically, can you see yourself not eventually getting caught up in snowballing resentment?

Really, already planned or not, the relationship ending should have taken this trip off the table.

You two were an exclusive couple immediately? How could he have been your "boyfriend" when you only dated two weeks?

How will you feel if you two go on the vacation and nothing changes?

Rather than hoping to draw him closer, I think this may have the opposite effect of the result you're seeking. Either way, you're better off giving him the time to heal, and giving him the option of contacting you at a later date.

I'm just going to be brutally honest! You dated 2 weeks, it's not a relationship, it was a fling. You were his re-bound, he realized it and broke it of with you. Going on a trip, giving him the world is not going to change his feelings. He made it crystal clear he's not over his ex. It will take him a while and even if he does get over the ex, it's really rare that the re-bound is whom he's going to have a new romantic relationship with.

I let a guy used me for 2 years, and it upsets me to hear how many people are going in this direction. It's always pretty crystal clear, we just chose not to see it! You could hope and pray that he will fall for you, but that resentment you will build up is going to get the best out of you.

Why not go on the trip alone or with a close girlfriend? I always seems to have the best time on trip like Mexico with my girlfriend. It's always fun and drama free. Gives you some time to clear your mind as well.

Agree with jujusamples. Why reward someone with a trip after they dump you? It sets up a bad precedence.

Why not go on the trip alone or with a close girlfriend? I always seems to have the best time on trip like Mexico with my girlfriend. It's always fun and drama free. Gives you some time to clear your mind as well.