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Thread: Cut off my sister for good

  1. #1
    jennylove
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    Cut off my sister for good

    Sister has said and done some pretty horrible things over the years, mainly her anger arises from things that she assumes. And then she'll snap over those ideas in her head and send off some vile texts or email to me or other family. A week later, she's fine. Nothing happened. Oh that email? Well that's because "I've had a migraine for 2 weeks straight, and uhh, that's why I sent that." She's very much a case of: "I love you, I hate you, don't leave"

    She's always very conning, too. A few years ago, she told me she wanted a divorce. she was crying, telling me how horrible he is to her. I was wiping away her tears. She then started fishing for info, "Dad has never liked him, has he?" Me: no. Her " marrying him was such a mistake, sniff sniff, what things didn't dad likrbabout him?" Me: XYZ.

    Ten mintues later, she's going home and claims she'll be in touch with me as she'll need help "escaping" while he is at work that week. We hug, it's all good. And then boom, that night, she sent me and my family a nasty email outlining how she now knows how we really feel about her husband, we can all burn in hell, etc. the whole thing was an act.

    Stupid me, I fell for it again. A few months ago she started showing an interest in my new SO, asking me all kinds of things about him. Acting concerned and yet excited for me. I. E, "I want you to be careful this time, Are there any red flags?" Or, " Anything about him that you don't like?"
    We were in the early stages of dating and this was just fun sisterly talk, I thought. Nope. That was fuel for her fire. Once my dad and other family members began showing their approval of him, she told them the things that I told her a few months ago about the red flags, etc. And apparently she did an impersonation of him having a seizure, which looked a lot like Trump mocking the reporter. Bf has epilepsy and can not drive because of his seizure disorder.

    Apparently everyone saw right through her jealousy and they still think highly of him and nobody is happy with her., I decided to cut her off over this. Her true character is too ugly for me. I'm done son. Blocked and moving on, and I feel great..
    Last edited by jennylove; 01-21-2017 at 12:20 PM.

  2. #2
    ~Seraphim ~
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    She mocked someone having epilepsy? Wow.

  3. #3
    Batya33
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    Sounds like a toxic relationship. I will add this. When our father was dying last year and suffering from Alzheimers I had to help from afar because I moved away. I did my best. My sister lives closer and was able to provide the hands-on emotional support to my mother that I could not. I am all for not prioritizing family ties to excuse unacceptable behavior but consider whether you might need to be able to have good communication with her in the future for the good of your family. My sister and I barely spoke civilly until I was a teenager (she is older). She has her quirks (me too) and we clash sometimes but I love her to the ends of the earth and I know when our mother's time comes it will help so much that I have her in my life (and I hope I do!). Again not to pressure you to continue an unhealthy relationship just because she is your sister but please do consider the ramifications.

  4. #4
    jennylove
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    Yeah. She announced that I have to do all the driving because boyfriend is always like "ohhhh, I might have a seizure, Ohhhh" - Dond Trump style, thrashing her arms abs neck around.

  5. #5
    ~Seraphim ~
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    Quote Originally Posted by jennylove [Register to see the link]
    Yeah. She announced that I have to do all the driving because boyfriend is always like "ohhhh, I might have a seizure, Ohhhh" - Dond Trump style, thrashing her arms abs neck around.
    Wow. What a jerk. People cannot help the way they are born .

  6. #6
    ParisPaulette
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    I think you did the right thing. You don't get to choose the family you're born into, but when you become an adult you most definitely do get to choose how much interaction you do or don't have with them.

    She sounds a right nightmare, so regardless of kin or not yes it's time to walk away and ignore her. I'm sorry that happened, but I have relatives I've had to cut out of my life too. And frankly I was none the worse for it. Far from it.

    Toxic is as toxic does.

  7. #7
    jennylove
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    thanks to everyone who replied

    I just want to tell the world how much better I feel. Anytime sis was mad at me about something, she'd always say that I wasn't going to be able to see my nephew anymore. This caused me to bite my tongue and let her hurt me over and over. But the other day, I stood up against it. I'm sooo done.

    And my nephew is now 11, I likely won't see him again, but it is what it is. I've done sooo much for him over the years, more than the average Aunt. Would you believe that never once have I received a thank you note, a birthday card, anything from him? I know it's not his fault! It's his parents. As tacky as this sounds, I actually told my sister on my last bday that the only thing I really want is a handmade card from him. Nope, never got it.

    I recently babysat for a 4 yo boy. A few days later, I got the funniest hand-
    made thankyou card from the boy and one from his mom. So I know it's something kids are still taught to do. Just not my nephew. His parents are raising him to feel entitled. I.E,,My mom bought him a package of Walmart socks when he was 9 as a stocking stuffer. My sister asked my mom to return them and buy him Nike Socks instead, since that is what he prefers. More like, that's what she preferred. Unbelievable . Soooo glad I'm done!
    Last edited by jennylove; 01-22-2017 at 10:44 AM.

  8. #8
    Fudgie
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    It's probably for the best. Just be prepared to shut her down when she comes crawling back in years time for sympathy/money/who knows.

  9. #9
    jennylove
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    Yeah, I'm ready, even 20 yrs from now, I won't want her in my life.

  10. #10
    Batya33
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    Quote Originally Posted by jennylove [Register to see the link]
    thanks to everyone who replied

    I just want to tell the world how much better I feel. Anytime sis was mad at me about something, she'd always say that I wasn't going to be able to see my nephew anymore. This caused me to bite my tongue and let her hurt me over and over. But the other day, I stood up against it. I'm sooo done.

    And my nephew is now 11, I likely won't see him again, but it is what it is. I've done sooo much for him over the years, more than the average Aunt. Would you believe that never once have I received a thank you note, a birthday card, anything from him? I know it's not his fault! It's his parents. As tacky as this sounds, I actually told my sister on my last bday that the only thing I really want is a handmade card from him. Nope, never got it.

    I recently babysat for a 4 yo boy. A few days later, I got the funniest hand-
    made thankyou card from the boy and one from his mom. So I know it's something kids are still taught to do. Just not my nephew. His parents are raising him to feel entitled. I.E,,My mom bought him a package of Walmart socks when he was 9 as a stocking stuffer. My sister asked my mom to return them and buy him Nike Socks instead, since that is what he prefers. More like, that's what she preferred. Unbelievable . Soooo glad I'm done!
    So, I hope your venting/judging her parenting, etc is done soon because if it's not then she is "winning" because you're still carrying around all that negative baggage. When she goes low, you go high, right? I make my son write thank you cards but, believe it or not, in our family the tradition is that you don't write thank you cards to immediate family/grandparents (but of course you say thank you) - the thinking is -they know you love and appreciate them, they get to see you and it's more important with more distant relatives and friends where you want to make sure that you show your appreciation, manners, etc. Every family has its quirks like that. However, my son (almost does make cards for grandparents' birthdays. Also as a practical matter young children get lots of gifts "just because" so the volume of thank you cards gets a bit much!

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