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ex girlfriend wants to meet up what does she wants?


cheese12345

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Hi,

 

Need a perspective on what is on her mind. we broke up 2 months back because she feels that our future looks bleak due to 1) her parents object 2) she was hurt badly before and she finds it hard to totally open up with me. we dated for about a year and it was a ldr. when we were together, she wanted marriage because i can take care of her and her needs. but i always felt it was one sided as i was the one putting most effort.

 

2 months back we talked about it and tho i didn't want to breakup, it was the best for both of us. the breakup tho it was mutual, it makes me feel that i was the one dumped and she was the dumper. i was not needy after but she text me every other day and i always text back but not needy text. i keep the texting to the minimal and no open questions to allow it to continue. a month back she asked me if i wanna meet up with her and her friend. she's coming to a nearby town (it was arranged before the breakup and we were supposed to catch up then) and wants me to meet them. i agreed. and i started to warm up to her texts and started texting her first instead.

 

now for the past 3 weeks after i agreed to meet them, she stop initiating the texts. i also noticed that and i stop texting and now it has gone cold. i'm not ready to see her as a frd yet. i do not know if i shd go meet her now that the texts are not flowing. it is next week and i'm having lots of anxiety. do you think that 1) she has moved on? 2) what is her reasons for meeting up? i miss her and really wanna to catch up with her but i feel that i may take more time to move on after if it's friendship she wants. her friend will be with her when we meet but we will be spending 3 days together. i have booked my hotel room next to theirs. i dunno if she will bunk over but any intimacy now will make me move on harder. any advice on what is on her mind and what i should do will be good. thanks for reading and i hope i have good insights to what she is thinking and what she wants.

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Why would you go to so much effort, without knowing what she wanted. I don't understand that!

 

You should not be communication, and certainly not meeting up.

 

If you have no intention of reconciling - you do not sound compatible - then why are you in contact?

 

I think that you should move on with your life and go NC.

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Sounds like you guys need to have a serious heart to heart before you agree to go on this trip with her. You need to decide what you want from this relationship. Is it to reconcile? To get closure? Or to "become friends?" Ask to meet her somewhere or do this over the phone, it might be easier to just call at a specified time because the emotions won't be as high from having to physically be in her company. Discuss your needs with her about this situation. Tell her you're not going to be okay as friends, if that is the case. Be honest with her and yourself - this trip can go VERY badly and can end up costing you a lot of money (wasted hotel room much?) It can also go very well as far as a "getting back together" thing goes- meeting on neutral ground in a new exciting experience can rekindle the flames for you two. Do this conversation soon though, so you will still have time to cancel the room reservation without penalty if you need to. It's okay if you aren't "ready" to do this trip yet. It's okay if you don't want to be her friend right now. I think this purgatory where you guys are just "chatting" but it's neither on or off is going to be more harmful to you in the long run, though. Get this thing tipping in one direction or another so you can move on with your life.

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Sorry to hear this but there are too many deal breakers and red flags from parental objection to marriage talk too soon to ldr.

 

Is she from a culture that has arranged marriage or dating is only for marriage?

 

it's unclear why you are still texting each other and not moving on, trying to heal. It's also strange that you agree to a friendzone meetup along with all this other friendzone behavior.

 

What is your hope with this meetup? just friends? Reconciliation? Because it seems she's treating you as a male girlfriend now meeting up like that.

we broke up 2 months back because she feels that our future looks bleak due to her parents object, she wanted marriage. a month back she asked me if i wanna meet up with her and her friend. she's coming to a nearby town. i agreed.
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hi all thanks for the kind advice.

 

i do want to get back together with her.

 

like i said, tho the breakup is mutual, i felt that it was a choice that i have to make.

 

reason being it was a one sided relationship. i feel i put more effort than her and it is really tiring.

 

i did no contact for the first 2 weeks but she has been texting me every other day.

 

i warm up to her texts after and that's when she asked me if i would consider joining her and her friend next week, which i agreed as i thought we can finally meet dave to face and maybe rekindle hoping that it will be better this time round.

 

the confusing part is after i warm up to her text and after agreeing to meet, the text has gone cold.

 

i just dunno what she wants now.

 

we broke up over skype and this is the first time we are meeting up since october.

 

i do miss her lots and i want to see her.

 

i'll think i'll just use this opportunity to find a closure.

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