How to quash a crush?!

As title! If you find yourself crushing over somebody inappropriate, what exactly is the best way of snuffing it out? Answers on a postcard, please!

It's easy. You focus on the "inappropriate" part and keep repeating to yourself: he's my boss or he's married or I have bf or whatever. It's normal to be attracted to people, it's schoolkid wishful thinking to develop crushes.

If you find yourself crushing over somebody inappropriate, what exactly is the best way of snuffing it out?

In my experience there is no quick fix. Distance yourself from the crush if possible. Slowly start doing all the scary things (going out, socialising, gym, hobbies) that you know you should have been doing all the time you were obsessing over the crush. In a few months hopefully you'll feel a bit more like yourself and you can start looking for available people to be involved with.

This is all advice I'm currently following myself...it's not easy but you have to put yourself first.

Thanks both... still easier said than done, eh? We're both single, he's not my boss or anything like that, so it's harmless to a point... but I do have to work with him occasionally and good lord I feel like a schoolgirl again!

just self-restraint and reason.

it took me a few months of reasoning with myself, exercising extreme self-control to stay professional, my pulse at the time went up to 136 and my coworker was laughing her arse off watching me gasp for breath whenever he left the room.

136. i was a pressure cooker.

it wasn't easy, and still isn't a piece of cake, but the bottom line is... i made no inappropriate moves and other than my bestie at work, no one knew.

good old self control. go to the gym and have some kind of outlet so you don't explode.

Well now i'm intrigued as to exactly who this "inappropriate person" is. Details please.

Well now i'm intrigued as to exactly who this "inappropriate person" is. Details please.

There had to be someone who asked! 😉

He's a work colleague... albeit a separate department. Inappropriate #1. He's also far too old for me... hence inappropriate #2. I need my brain to stop misfiring and normal cognitive activity to kick back in!

There is nothing wrong with reveling in your crush, as long as you don't act on it. It may go away, it might not.

I get the feeling you want to act on it.

After a recent breakup, it can be like a hungry dog looking at the butcher's window. Get on dating apps and start meeting "appropriate" men for coffee.

He's a work colleague... albeit a separate department. Inappropriate #1. He's also far too old for me... hence inappropriate #2. I need my brain to stop misfiring and normal cognitive activity to kick back in!

buahahah i have been dat doggo

After a recent breakup, it can be like a hungry dog looking at the butcher's window. Get on dating apps and start meeting "appropriate" men for coffee. ]

 

This is excellent imagery. If your crush could see you in this state, he would be shocked and then that would curb the crush! Just act at work something similar to the dog in picture (the toungue action).

Not hang around them. Remind myself of why such a crush wouldn't go anywhere and list that down. Understand and recall that every time I ever dated someone who had been a crush it ended in disappointment 'cause your fantasy and reality never match.

But mostly just plain old good old distance, distance, distance. That means no hanging around them, no getting lunch with them, no electronic communication, just busy with other things.

Also take up something new and exciting or fun to do that has nothing to do with them. And let that and time slowly kill the buzz.

There is nothing wrong with reveling in your crush, as long as you don't act on it. It may go away, it might not.

 

I get the feeling you want to act on it.

Hahaha. There are no undertones or ulterior thoughts to this thread - as much as my inner schoolgirl would love to act on it, when I say it's inappropriate, I mean it's inappropriate Hell, the poor guy would probably run screaming if I did!

After a recent breakup, it can be like a hungry dog looking at the butcher's window. Get on dating apps and start meeting "appropriate" men for coffee. ]

 

That made me laugh. What a wonderful analogy haha. I've been on some dates recently, but this whole online dating thing goes from bad to worse!

I'd keep the word 'REWARD' flashing in my head. Every time I divert a fantasy or attention seeking, I'd reward myself by end of day with something on my list of small rewards that I find enjoyable.

That's a short term tactic. My long range strategy would be a goal of a larger reward that I save money toward. When I can reflect back and recognize that I've left this particular crush in some cobwebs somewhere, I'd spring for the large reward, or otherwise question whether that's something I still desire.

Head high, and you're smart for identifying your own best interests.