I do so much, yet get so little

My wife seems bipolar, but I'm pretty sure she's not. She tells me she loves me, almost every day, yet treats me like crap every day. I feel like I am her punching bag- like I am her outlet for complaining about life. It's usually minor things she criticizes me for, but it's constant, every few minutes. I work hard, I do nothing but work, take care of kids, take care of house, make dinner, do dishes, put 3 of our 4 kids to bed, but I still have to deal with her always being crabby and or critical. Despite her being far less attractive than when I met her, I still pursue her, show affection, am constantly trying to put her in a better mood, tell her I want to f her, but it only helps in the moment- minutes or hours later it always turns to her being a b. I feel hopeless. She pisses me off so bad. Why can't she be a stable pleasant person? Why can't she show me appreciation instead of telling me she loves me? Are all women this volatile and unappreciativie and selfish? I'm so close to stop cleaning, stop doing the dishes, stop making dinner, stop showing affection, but I know it's only our kids that will suffer. I show her affection to put her in a better mood- that's the primary reason- because the better mood she's in the better off we are as a family. But I'm tired. I need help. Thank you.

Have you discussed these issues with her? Have you told her what needs to change? What was her reply?

Do you both have jobs? What is her contribution?

Has she always been this way?

Unfortunately you sound very resentful and contemptuous and she sounds equally resentful and miserable. Not sure how much this is helping "tell her I want to f her".

How long have you been married? Do you both work? What type of appreciation are you looking for and why does her saying ILY "pisses me off so bad".

Why not take some sessions with a marriage counselor to get some relief and advice about this. Is either of you looking to have or having an affair or emotional or physical affair?

I still have to deal with her always being crabby and or critical. Despite her being far less attractive than when I met her.Why can't she show me appreciation instead of telling me she loves me?

My wife seems bipolar, but I'm pretty sure she's not. She tells me she loves me, almost every day, yet treats me like crap every day. I feel like I am her punching bag- like I am her outlet for complaining about life. It's usually minor things she criticizes me for, but it's constant, every few minutes. I work hard, I do nothing but work, take care of kids, take care of house, make dinner, do dishes, put 3 of our 4 kids to bed, but I still have to deal with her always being crabby and or critical. Despite her being far less attractive than when I met her, I still pursue her, show affection, am constantly trying to put her in a better mood, tell her I want to f her, but it only helps in the moment- minutes or hours later it always turns to her being a b. I feel hopeless. She pisses me off so bad. Why can't she be a stable pleasant person? Why can't she show me appreciation instead of telling me she loves me? Are all women this volatile and unappreciativie and selfish? I'm so close to stop cleaning, stop doing the dishes, stop making dinner, stop showing affection, but I know it's only our kids that will suffer. I show her affection to put her in a better mood- that's the primary reason- because the better mood she's in the better off we are as a family. But I'm tired. I need help. Thank you.

"despite her being far less attractive then when I met her I still pursue her." Really? Maybe that's part of your problem.

Have you talked to her like an adult perhaps? Have you asked her what's going on in her life? Maybe there's something you don't know?

No all women are not "volatile and selfish and unappreciative." But it helps to have a partner who actually asks what's wrong with us and do we want help. Maybe she needs some counseling. Who knows?

She isn't bipolar likely. She might have a personality disorder. My mom was kind of like this when we were little. But it was in public we and our dad were her amazing kids and husband and at home we were treated like crap. She also was having an affair. I told a chaplain once about her and he asked if she'd ever been diagnosed with a personality disorder. I know she had been on hormones or something for awhile and she was normal. She would be a mom. She was nice and nto constantly being emotionally abusive. We even told our dad "what's wrong with mom? She's acting like a mom." So he said something and she stopped taking the pills.

Now things are better and I think she finally realizes what she did was wrong and she made a mistake - but we're all adults now. She left my dad who is a great guy for the pos she had an affair with.

I would sit down and talk to her and see what's wrong and suggest couples counseling and you two go separately to counseling. Because honestly you both have issues. The fact you have said she's "not as attractive" and "I tell her I want to f* her" and calling her a b* says a lot about you too.