I think I messed up my life and I'm only 25:(

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm 5 months away from getting my BS in IT (option in cybersecurity) and I feel so depressed. My only jobs have been dog walking and working as a TA. I feel that I should have had a successful by now but I chose to stay at home and help my family. I don't have student loans and I have a 4 month emergency fund just in case. I've been getting so many rejections because I lack job experience. I was close to dropping out a few months ago but my counselor convinced me that Cyber Security is a great career. I've been having nightmares about not finding work on a weekly basis. My anxiety is really high atm! I feel so stupid. I'm so close to graduation but no offers. My family wants me to graduate on stage but I don't deserve it. I think my life is too screwed up to get better. I don't want to go home and burden my family. They helped me out so much. I'm also afraid of never having my own family. I started dating recently after 3 years of being single. I've been too scared of having intimacy with any guy. What if he finds out I've been alone for so long? I'm not even talking about sex. I've been on a third date but was too nervous to kiss him. Both guys are so kind and funny so, it must be me! I just don't want to be 40 and never had kids/family. I appreciate any advice. I honestly don't know what to do

It will all be alright but your anxiety is very out of control. Talk to a therapist/counselor about that.

It's an exciting and scary time for both you and me (I graduate with my B.A. in Political Science, In May), and I totally understand your concern about finding a job. I would suggest you keep applying, and I know it can be time draining, but that's all you can really do. Try and get x amount of applications out a week.

If you're afraid of not finding work, I would advise you to look into substitute teaching; I have been doing it for about a year (I honestly love it . It's a clean job, very flexible, and the pay is decent. It will help get you through until you find something more permanent. At the very least, it's something professional you can add to your resume, and you have the potential to network with the schools (could lead to a district IT job, you never know).

You're 25, and you're about to graduate, I think you're doing pretty good. You need to be careful that you don't rush another guy (and more importantly, yourself) into having kids ASAP. Plenty of people have started families later in life, nothing wrong with that. Honestly, I wouldn't start worrying about "the kids clock" for another 5-6 years. You need to focus on: 1) getting a job that fulfills you. and 2) having a good time with your boyfriend. Take things slow, and move forward at whatever pace feels comfortable.

I think you would do well to remember that "Rome wasn't built in a day"

Try to focus on the positive. You are getting your B.S. in IT, a very good field choice. It is true that finding a job may be more difficult without internship experience. However, don't give up and don't think it is impossible. I work for a software company and sometimes B.S. IT grads take a job that isn't quite their dream job (tech support, QA, etc.) but they hope to move along in the company and find a better fit. In other words, try to find something in IT to get your foot in the door. Network yourself, join LinkedIn if you have not already. Friends recommending friends is a good way to find a job. You absolutely deserve to walk on the stage - getting a 4 year degree in IT with no debt is something to be proud of. You must try to reverse this negative thinking you have going on. Your aura will not be good when you interview and your insecurities will eek out, which isn't a good thing. You need to feel confident that while you do not have the practical experience, you can learn quickly and be an asset to a company. Lastly, about the whole dating thing. I am not sure if the timing is good for this. You have enough on your plate, and you are not feeling good about your life - and feeling insecure about men may put you on emotional overload. I can say if you find the right guy, he won't care about your lack of dates in the recent years. I won't even tell you how long I was out of the dating scene when I finally jumped back in. I thought, how do I explain this long, dateless hiatus? The answer is, any good guy will understand - between your school work, helping family, etc. you have had other priorities. That is all they need to know. The right guy won't care. In closing, try to step back and focus on the positive. Even if you can't find a job in your field immediately, take something to keep busy and keep plugging away. Let the universe provide and keep the faith. Good luck.

It will all be alright but your anxiety is very out of control. Talk to a therapist/counselor about that.

I agree. Utilize the counselor at school.

Why haven't you done an internship?? Volunteer? Do anything to gain experience. You have to help yourself!

Thanks. No call backs for internships. I helped run both cyber security fairs and I'm a VP for an IT club as well as a TA for an IT class. Not relevant experience unfortunately.

Did you put that on your resume? I think that every bit is helpful.

Keep on pushing for the internships!!!

Good luck!

....ummm....do you understand that pretty much nobody just graduating from college has any kind of relevant work experience?

Be sure that you are applying through your uni or college career services center, have them review your resume, participate in their mock interviews and pay careful attention to any constructive criticism they offer and fix what they tell you to fix, and of course apply for jobs through them as well as go to any career fairs they are holding on campus.

Companies that are willing to hire and train young people straight out of school generally go to uni's directly and interview and hire on campus. They don't advertise on general job boards. They are also not looking for experience.

Also, please go see a doctor and get help for your anxiety today. If you are coming across as overly anxious, people won't hire you and that has nothing to do with experience or grades or anything really. Employers are looking for stable people who can handle life stress and still get the job done. Especially those first few years out of college where you are literally expected to work like crazy, do what it takes to learn the ropes and pay your dues so to speak.

Try to focus on the positive. You are getting your B.S. in IT, a very good field choice. It is true that finding a job may be more difficult without internship experience. However, don't give up and don't think it is impossible. I work for a software company and sometimes B.S. IT grads take a job that isn't quite their dream job (tech support, QA, etc.) but they hope to move along in the company and find a better fit. In other words, try to find something in IT to get your foot in the door. Network yourself, join LinkedIn if you have not already. Friends recommending friends is a good way to find a job. You absolutely deserve to walk on the stage - getting a 4 year degree in IT with no debt is something to be proud of. You must try to reverse this negative thinking you have going on. Your aura will not be good when you interview and your insecurities will eek out, which isn't a good thing. You need to feel confident that while you do not have the practical experience, you can learn quickly and be an asset to a company. Lastly, about the whole dating thing. I am not sure if the timing is good for this. You have enough on your plate, and you are not feeling good about your life - and feeling insecure about men may put you on emotional overload. I can say if you find the right guy, he won't care about your lack of dates in the recent years. I won't even tell you how long I was out of the dating scene when I finally jumped back in. I thought, how do I explain this long, dateless hiatus? The answer is, any good guy will understand - between your school work, helping family, etc. you have had other priorities. That is all they need to know. The right guy won't care. In closing, try to step back and focus on the positive. Even if you can't find a job in your field immediately, take something to keep busy and keep plugging away. Let the universe provide and keep the faith. Good luck.

I think your right about the dating. I got dumped in the morning and it made things so much worse. I appreciate everyone's advice!

Try to relax and go slowly when dating. Which guy "broke up"?

I started dating recently after 3 years of being single. I've been too scared of having intimacy with any guy. What if he finds out I've been alone for so long? I'm not even talking about sex. I've been on a third date but was too nervous to kiss him. Both guys are so kind and funny so, it must be me! I just don't want to be 40 and never had kids/family.