Im so confused.. havent heard from her.

I dated this girl for a few months and it ended because i wanted a break. she said that we should just take a step back. 2 days later, her father (my customer) came into my work to buy some clothing and told me that some guy was picking her up the night before around 12am and he thought that it was me. I was broken when i heard this. I saw her later that night he told me this and she said that she thinks its better if were just friends. And she told me that she just recently started to see someone, and never cheated on me while we dated.

I told her im okay with that and agreed to her terms. I thought everything would be back to normal (just like when we used to be friends before we became a couple). But she hasnt texted or called for a few days.

Im just confused because before we got into a relationship, i told her i liked her and she told me that we should be just friends. I backed off from her and she continued to call/text me every day just to talk and stuff. After a month of that, we bacame a couple. Why isnt she hitting me up now? She used to want to just go out for coffee every few days as friends. Now she never even asks.

MY question is, why wasnt it awkward for HER to text/call me so much when we were just friends before we became a couple? Why does it feel weird for ME to hit her up and set up a coffee date now that were back to being friends? Why do i feel like ill be begging for her company if i even THINK to text her and ask her to hang out?

She did it so effortlessly before we were a couple when she established that she didnt want anything more than friendship. Its just weird. Someone please explain to me what i should do. I dont wanna come off as needy and attached. At the same time, I wanna work on myself and become a better person. I know shes talking to one of her exes.. I just dont know if i should be acting "mad" right now and not texting her until i hear from her, or if i should act normal and ask her to go out with me for a coffee so i can listen to her talk about her ex (now bf) .. i just dont understand what to do. Im semi depressed.

This sounds quite familiar...

just like when we used to be friends before we became a couple)

- Things can change drastically after you become involved with a 'friend'. You've now crossed that line

So... now that she has 'moved on', YOU need to accept this and that things just might not be the same anymore.

Or at least for a while.

Maybe see if things might be different in about 5 months?

Also.. it can be very hard and awkward to be 'friends' again, with an ex... some never do. Often especially if those 'feelings' are still there.

For now. I suggest you do NOT harass her at all.. but you need to 'accept' that she's moving on and let her be.

Sorry for your pains.. I know it hurts a lot.. when we lose someone we care for.

just like when we used to be friends before we became a couple)

- Things can change drastically after you become involved with a 'friend'. You've now crossed that line

So... now that she has 'moved on', YOU need to accept this and that things just might not be the same anymore.

Or at least for a while.

 

Maybe see if things might be different in about 5 months?

 

Also.. it can be very hard and awkward to be 'friends' again, with an ex... some never do. Often especially if those 'feelings' are still there.

 

For now. I suggest you do NOT harass her at all.. but you need to 'accept' that she's moving on and let her be.

 

Sorry for your pains.. I know it hurts a lot.. when we lose someone we care for.

All of this.

The dynamic changes when you go from being friends to dating. You don't need to "act" a certain way. Don't try to be friends again right now, though. It won't work.

Take your space and work on detaching. Maybe in a few months, you could re-visit the idea of a friendship. But you will need time to let the dust settle in your mind and heart before that.

All of this.

 

The dynamic changes when you go from being friends to dating. You don't need to "act" a certain way. Don't try to be friends again right now, though. It won't work.

 

Take your space and work on detaching. Maybe in a few months, you could re-visit the idea of a friendship. But you will need time to let the dust settle in your mind and heart before that.

And if she texts or calls, should i ignore it and call her back later? Or completely ignore it? If she wants to hang out as friends should i say im too busy? or even answer the phone call?

What would be more attractive from the girls perspective? (I do wish to have her back as more than a friend at some point in the future)..

And if she texts or calls, should i ignore it and call her back later? Or completely ignore it? If she wants to hang out as friends should i say im too busy? or even answer the phone call?

 

What would be more attractive from the girls perspective? (I do wish to have her back as more than a friend at some point in the future)..

If she has truly moved on, the way you respond to her won't make much difference. Her mind isn't in the same place as yours.

If she hasn't, then you need to demonstrate a lot of self-respect. If she gets in touch, you don't need to completely ignore her just yet. Tell her you won't be hanging out with her as friends, and that you do not wish to chat as friends either. Let her know you need your space now and that if she wants to talk about reconciliation, you would be open to hearing it, but other than that, wish her the best and leave it at that. Hanging out "as friends" would be a bad idea right now, because you know she has another guy on her radar.

There is nothing worse to us ladies than a guy who can't or won't let go, or allows himself to be used as a back-up while we're actually dating someone else. Keep that in mind in your communications with her, should she reach out. It lowers your worth in our eyes, even if we don't consciously think of it that way.

Haven't talked to her since. It's been about 13 days now I think. It's just kind of depressing that I used to wake up to a call from her and she used to attempt to talk to me throughout the day and I always got happier when she did. Going from that to complete shut down of contact, just a void in my everyday life. I'm sure she's giving that attention to someone else now, considering that I saw her with another guy a few days ago. I just never understood her logic, all I can think is that she'll be having sex with other people and I just wasn't enough. Because at the end of the day, were all human and we all have needs. The fact that she's had sex with many people and done some crazy things in her life, I doubt she's looking for a no sex relationship. &no matter how hard i try to get over it, I can't help but think that I wasn't enough.