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Thread: I'm a prisoner.

  1. #31
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    No - parents are entitled to provide food and shelter for their children and to ensure they are living in a safe environment. Then they can have a coffee.

    Sometimes you do what you have to do. There are times in your life where no - you don't go out because of time or money. What about taking your child out with you on a weekend afternoon to grab a coffee to go and to go to the park? What about coming home half an hour later on one day during the week to go sit with your coffee?

    My parents never got a night out when I was young because they were struggling to make ends meet. My mom lost touch with a lot of friends because most of her friends were single and in college or in the work world. If her friends were a bit older/more mature in their view and already had a kid at home they might be open to stopping by for lunch or coffee but the other 19-21 year olds wanted to go to the bar. My dad worked two jobs. He worked midnights full time and then worked during the day 3/4 time. They had one car, which was obviously gone for all but a couple hours in a 24 hour period. There was just no money except what went into rent and food. My mom either struggled to fit into prepregnancy clothes or wore my dad's shirts after she had me until she could afford to get something new. I wore hand me downs except what Grandma and Grandpa gave me as a Christmas outfit or always bought me shoes for my birthday if I needed them that year because you can't always wear hand me down shoes. they have to fit.

    When I was older, yes, they could afford to go out with their friends or mom got coffee with her friends. But that took awhile.

    You are just at a season in life where its time to work and come home to your child and you get extras once your child doesn't depend on your folks (you are able to drop them off at a tumbling class for awhile to walk next door to get a coffee) or you have the money to afford the privelege of doing so (you move out and have a trustworthy babysitter).

    Forget going for coffee and come up with a plan where you can afford to move - even if you find another single mom as a roommate. My cousin was in a living situation where she had a roommate but had reduced rent because part of the agreement was that she babysat twice a week so her roommate could have some breathing room away from her kid. The kid went to preschool and day care when the mom was working, but the roommate who was the mom had my cousin watch her child once or twice a week in the evening so she could get grocery shopping and just a break.
    She does do that it appears based on her post. But parents are also entitled to a break once in awhile while caring for their children. If you don't take a break once in awhile you're going to lose your damn mind and most likely on the kids.

    I finally got respite care set up so that I could go for 2 hours 3 x a week and work out. All I do is go to work and am with my daughter. That's it. I love my daughter more than anything but the constant hospital admissions and doctors and etc it's freaking overwhelming. I finally realized I needed a break. Even the doctors, nurses, respite care, early intervention ask me "What do you do for yourself to get a break? You need to make sure you take time for yourself once in awhile."

    I'm not saying they need to go out and party, get drunk, go somewhere fancy. A coffee break for 10 minutes alone? That's a big deal?? Really?

    My dad worked two jobs, sometimes three and basically raised us himself because my mom was off screwing around on him. He never went out. Sometimes she did until she got too wrapped up in dipsh*t that she ended up marrying after the divorce. My dad is finally involved in things. He does stuff with church and started church again after meeting my stepmom. He seems to like it and he gets paid to be a layperson. But when we were little he would come home from work and I could tell he was exhausted. Pure exhaustion and still would make it to most of my games. Concerts. The other kids stuff (but I was the only one who did sports through high school). But I wish he would have taken a break once in awhile. Just left the house by himself even for like 10 minutes. Took a walk. A drive. Anything. He DESERVED a break. He was ENTITLED to a break. That's what I am talking about.

  2. #32
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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    also, sounds like you hate living with your parents. you've not said a single nice thing about them, or life with them, or the supervision they provide the boy with.

    i would say move out, but then it sounds like you can't afford to, while it also sounds like you can't afford to live with them, so i don't have the slightest clue what's going on.
    She said she got by before she moved in with her parents and siblings.

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