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Thread: I'm a prisoner.

  1. #11
    abitbroken
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    If you had your own place and an au pair or a full time babysitter, you would be paying rent, food for yourself, child and to have things in the house for the babysitter, PLUS you would be paying said person. In your case, you pay rent (but not full rent), food, and you don't pay an au pair or babysitter.

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  3. #12
    RainyCoast
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    I'm helping with rent and groceries for everyone in the house.
    i don't really have an idea what sum that amounts to in the states and whether it wouldn't be cheaper to pay commercial rent and daycare, especially with benefits?

    i'm sorry, i'm struggling to understand whether you moved in with them because it was cheaper and more convenient for you, or whether because they guilt-tripped you with their dire situation and delivered it in an offer that said "it would be perfect for everyone involved"?

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  5. #13
    AikoTanaka

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    @ abitbroken To be quite honest, it not paying for the groceries that I care about, but because of that I can't afford to get a babysitter or daycare. Little money is ever left for me or my son, it's all spent on this house and my siblings. And also my mom works part time because she doesn't want a full time job, that or she quits after two months and expects the lazy man to pull money out of his ass for groceries.I'm pretty sure she is also on welfare. My father is the one that watches my 4 year old son. And by watch I mean plays video games while my son in doing whatever somewhere else. So in no way possible would I say they are " raising" my son.

  6. #14
    abitbroken
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    Quote Originally Posted by AikoTanaka [Register to see the link]
    @ abitbroken To be quite honest, it not paying for the groceries that I care about, but because of that I can't afford to get a babysitter or daycare. Little money is ever left for me or my son, it's all spent on this house and my siblings. And also my mom works part time because she doesn't want a full time job, that or she quits after two months and expects the lazy man to pull money out of his ass for groceries.I'm pretty sure she is also on welfare. My father is the one that watches my 4 year old son. And by watch I mean plays video games while my son in doing whatever somewhere else. So in no way possible would I say they are " raising" my son.
    You either hardly have money left over after bills because you contribute to your family, or you hardly have any money left over after bills because you pay for daycare. Pick one.

    Your son should be in preschool at age four if he is not getting the involvement at home and is left to his own devices. So maybe its time to enroll him.

    And maybe its time to stop paying for anything except for food for your siblings Or decide to stay there for a time to make sure your younger siblings get some of the emotional support they need. And pick a timeframe to move out whether its 6 months or in a year or two.

  7. #15
    ale2010
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    Your a grownup with a child so that means no more going out ! They need quality time with you too especially with your son!

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  9. #16
    RainyCoast
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    i don't think motherhood means you have to give up going for coffee altogether at all. but if you can't afford to make arrangements for your son that you're happy with while you're out, then you'll have to suck it up for a while.

    my mum was really struggling financially when she was raising me on her own. she couldn't afford going out for coffee, much less paying a sitter. for a while there, she was stuck not having a life outside work and raising me.

    for your kid, you do what it takes.

  10. #17
    RainyCoast
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    also, sounds like you hate living with your parents. you've not said a single nice thing about them, or life with them, or the supervision they provide the boy with.

    i would say move out, but then it sounds like you can't afford to, while it also sounds like you can't afford to live with them, so i don't have the slightest clue what's going on.

  11. #18
    ~Seraphim ~
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    I agree. Maybe enrol your son in preschool or kindergarten or whatever it is that you have available . ( here kids can go to school at 4 all day Monday to Friday .
    It doesn't sound like he's getting a lot of care coming from your dad . Then move out .

  12. #19
    notalady
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    Can't you take your child out to coffee or whatever? A lot of people I know take their baby or toddler to cafes and bars (nice bars not rough pubs).

    What would happen if you move out and let your parents fend for themselves?

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  14. #20
    RainyCoast
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    I can't afford to get a babysitter or daycare.
    how did you make ends meet and provide the son childcare before you moved in with them?

    Very capable of doing things on my own
    ??

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