Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 32

Thread: I'm a prisoner.

  1. #11
    abitbroken
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    17,920
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2921
    If you had your own place and an au pair or a full time babysitter, you would be paying rent, food for yourself, child and to have things in the house for the babysitter, PLUS you would be paying said person. In your case, you pay rent (but not full rent), food, and you don't pay an au pair or babysitter.

  2. Thanks j.man, mines thanked for this post
  3. #12
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,383
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2449
    I'm helping with rent and groceries for everyone in the house.
    i don't really have an idea what sum that amounts to in the states and whether it wouldn't be cheaper to pay commercial rent and daycare, especially with benefits?

    i'm sorry, i'm struggling to understand whether you moved in with them because it was cheaper and more convenient for you, or whether because they guilt-tripped you with their dire situation and delivered it in an offer that said "it would be perfect for everyone involved"?

  4. Thanks j.man thanked for this post
  5. #13
    AikoTanaka

    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    3
    @ abitbroken To be quite honest, it not paying for the groceries that I care about, but because of that I can't afford to get a babysitter or daycare. Little money is ever left for me or my son, it's all spent on this house and my siblings. And also my mom works part time because she doesn't want a full time job, that or she quits after two months and expects the lazy man to pull money out of his ass for groceries.I'm pretty sure she is also on welfare. My father is the one that watches my 4 year old son. And by watch I mean plays video games while my son in doing whatever somewhere else. So in no way possible would I say they are " raising" my son.

  6. #14
    abitbroken
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    17,920
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2921
    Quote Originally Posted by AikoTanaka [Register to see the link]
    @ abitbroken To be quite honest, it not paying for the groceries that I care about, but because of that I can't afford to get a babysitter or daycare. Little money is ever left for me or my son, it's all spent on this house and my siblings. And also my mom works part time because she doesn't want a full time job, that or she quits after two months and expects the lazy man to pull money out of his ass for groceries.I'm pretty sure she is also on welfare. My father is the one that watches my 4 year old son. And by watch I mean plays video games while my son in doing whatever somewhere else. So in no way possible would I say they are " raising" my son.
    You either hardly have money left over after bills because you contribute to your family, or you hardly have any money left over after bills because you pay for daycare. Pick one.

    Your son should be in preschool at age four if he is not getting the involvement at home and is left to his own devices. So maybe its time to enroll him.

    And maybe its time to stop paying for anything except for food for your siblings Or decide to stay there for a time to make sure your younger siblings get some of the emotional support they need. And pick a timeframe to move out whether its 6 months or in a year or two.

  7. #15
    ale2010
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    20
    Thanked
    7
    Your a grownup with a child so that means no more going out ! They need quality time with you too especially with your son!

  8. Thanks abitbroken thanked for this post
  9. #16
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,383
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2449
    i don't think motherhood means you have to give up going for coffee altogether at all. but if you can't afford to make arrangements for your son that you're happy with while you're out, then you'll have to suck it up for a while.

    my mum was really struggling financially when she was raising me on her own. she couldn't afford going out for coffee, much less paying a sitter. for a while there, she was stuck not having a life outside work and raising me.

    for your kid, you do what it takes.

  10. #17
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,383
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2449
    also, sounds like you hate living with your parents. you've not said a single nice thing about them, or life with them, or the supervision they provide the boy with.

    i would say move out, but then it sounds like you can't afford to, while it also sounds like you can't afford to live with them, so i don't have the slightest clue what's going on.

  11. #18
    ~Seraphim ~
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    50
    Posts
    31,029
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4818
    I agree. Maybe enrol your son in preschool or kindergarten or whatever it is that you have available . ( here kids can go to school at 4 all day Monday to Friday .
    It doesn't sound like he's getting a lot of care coming from your dad . Then move out .

  12. #19
    notalady
    Platinum Member notalady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    3,892
    Thanked
    2138
    Can't you take your child out to coffee or whatever? A lot of people I know take their baby or toddler to cafes and bars (nice bars not rough pubs).

    What would happen if you move out and let your parents fend for themselves?

  13. Thanks RainyCoast thanked for this post
  14. #20
    RainyCoast
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    3,383
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2449
    I can't afford to get a babysitter or daycare.
    how did you make ends meet and provide the son childcare before you moved in with them?

    Very capable of doing things on my own
    ??

  15. Thanks j.man thanked for this post
  16.  

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Need advice about boyfriend's crazy ex-wife!!
I am really hoping somebody can help me on here..I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have lived together for the last 6 months, and his
What should I do?
My dad, stepmom and I have had a turbulent relationship for years. I'd get upset that they never called or made time for me or my sister/nephew. I

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Dating younger guy 24 years difference
I am 50 yrs old dating a 26 yrs old guy. We been dating each other for a couple months things are great between us. He told me he will always be
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Should I let my boyfriend stay overnight with his friends?
Hi there. Firstly thank you for reading this post. I am a new member to this forum, and also will soon be new immigrant of the UK so basically there
Is this abuse?
Iím desperate for some advice. Iíve been with my partner for nearly 2 years and everything has been ok, except from when he drinks. I really do not
Is there hope for me?
Me and my girlfriend of two years had been talking about moving in together lately. We didn't actually go look at any place in person, but browsed a
Bringing up trust issues at the start of a new relationship? My situation...
Haven't been on these boards since my last break up a couple years ago, and here I am about to begin a new relationship with feelings from the last
Whats my next move - Dating a girl fresh out of a relationship
Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •