HELP, please - in a relationship, but don't feel right and don't know what to do

HELP

I feel extremely disappointed with my current life.

I was divorced over three years ago after a long unhappy marriage. Two years ago (Oct. 2014), I met someone and we started a relationship very quickly. I did not really feel he is my Mr Right, but he is a nice person. Since the beginning, I have noticed he is a kind of person very careful with his own money. I have been the one to pay for the most things when we go out. Two months after we met, we went to London and had a long weekend. I paid for everything apart from his flights fare. At the time, I didn’t really think too much, as he did help me with painting some rooms. I have one daughter, and he has two sons who are staying with him every other week. I am a disciplined person, also to my daughter. He is not like me; a lot of things he does to his children are totally opposite mine. He has no disciplines to his children and simply he is here to please them.

He had been coming to our place and staying with us every other week when he didn’t have his children; of course, he didn’t pay for any living cost (mainly food). That period is about 16 months. Then we moved to his place and stayed 4 months, he did mention many times that I need to contribute to the bills (I did pay for food), I ignored him on purpose and did not pay any towards bills.

The main reason I didn’t want to break up with him is for my daughter, I want to have a kind of family atmosphere for her and she likes him. Even I know for fact he does not care about my child the same way as he does to his, but maybe it is too much to ask for. Too many examples approved. Over a year ago, we even decided to buy a place together, after we bought somewhere, I realised it is not a good idea, but by then, it was too late to stop. I keep my property, he mentioned many times that I should sell it and put the money to the property we have in common. It seems the only thing he cares about me is MONEY. Over these two years, I have always buying things for him and his children, but no one seems appreciates, very disgraceful and greedy people. Between me and his children, we do have language barrier, but, I am trying my best to play with them. The most funny (in a certain way) and stressful thing is even his ex put demands on me, made comments many, many times, such as I don’t do anything with her children.

Anyway, now, we do live together, but I feel really down. We don’t talk much; it seems nothing to talk about if I don’t ask him things.

What should I do????? Why I am so unlucky?? ?

I would stop including your daughter in this "family environment" and only see him when she is not with you. Go back to dating. And I think that instead of just being upset about what he pays and doesn't, you need to set some boundaries. Of course, if you are living at his place for four months, you should be buying groceries, paying for services you use. If he is coming to live with you next for awhile, then you should have a conversation without the kids and say what the deal is. If you own the place, he shouldn't pay the mortgage, but say "let's figure out who pays what" before living somewhere else.

You are "unlucky" because you don't speak up and demand a form of treatment upfront.

Over a year ago, we even decided to buy a place together, after we bought somewhere, I realised it is not a good idea, but by then, it was too late to stop. I keep my property, he mentioned many times that I should sell it and put the money to the property we have in common

I would move back to your property and have him buy you out or sell your share of the property you are living in with him. You CAN reverse your mistakes. But you need to do it before you get father involved. Its easier for your daughter now than it will be if you marry or if you are with him longer. So no more excuses. This isn't a "family" environment for your daughter just because there is a man there.

Thanks, abitbroken.

Now the situation is rather difficult (yes, my fault), and I know he can't buy me out. The property we bought together is very expensive for one of us to pay.

Now, we do share the bills (moved into the property we bought together a couple of months ago) - half, half. For me, I really just a person to share the bills with him.

Plus my situation is my ex doesn't care about his own daughter. He started to have affairs many years before we divorced and got a baby with a woman before the divorce.

Plus my situation is my ex doesn't care about his own daughter. He started to have affairs many years before we divorced and got a baby with a woman before the divorce.

The relationship with her father should not mean you fill that void with just any guy. The void is the void. You can't replace her dad. You can do better than you are in being a good example of a woman being treated well in a relationship

Thanks, abitbroken.

Now the situation is rather difficult (yes, my fault), and I know he can't buy me out. The property we bought together is very expensive for one of us to pay.

Now, we do share the bills (moved into the property we bought together a couple of months ago) - half, half. For me, I really just a person to share the bills with him.

Is there more than one bedroom? You can move home to your other property and your daughter's room could be for his roommate. You could still pay half the mortgage until you can be bought out, and he can get a roommate to cover the other bills or you can walk away from the property

Plus my situation is my ex doesn't care about his own daughter. He started to have affairs many years before we divorced and got a baby with a woman before the divorce.

Then be the best single mom you can be.