Feeling so frustrated and exhausted...

Last year I started seeing a girl. We met through work, I was on a gap year and she had just finished studying. I am 20 years old and I have had small things with other girls. But I think that this particular girl was special enough for me to call a girlfriend.

She is 23 and I am 20.

We spent a lot of time with each other. I am from a middle class family and she is from quite a high class family (she has the Lady/Lord title in her family), she is very well-spoken and to be honest her family are very rich. She had finished studying and had been planning a trip to South America for some time with her good friend. I knew this from the beginning and never once asked her to stay and never made her feel bad about leaving. We had been seeing each other for a month and a half before she went and I have never had such happy times as I had with her in that month and a half.

Sometimes we'd speak every 2 or 3 days, but slowly, contact deterioted. Sometimes it would be once a week, then it was once in three weeks. THREE weeks. After 5 months I made it clear that it was ridiculous. We spoke on the phone and I said that I would rather not have her in my life at all if contact was going to be so sporadic. So she said it was a wake up call and I asked what she thought about me going out to travel with her. She agreed and I started planning to see her. I booked my flights and had 6 weeks to go. These 6 weeks were very difficult as she continued not to contact me reguarly and would go days without a simple message to ask how I was. I couldn't help but look around and see so many happy couples texting each other all the time. They were a big part of each others lives. What was I to her? Just a side project?

I met her in South America and I was totally overwhelmed by everything. I felt suffocated by so many different emotions that it gets to the point that I was not how I was with her. I blamed myself and crumbled. I was so worried that the way I was reacting to such a big change was going to put her off me. And that it did. The trip was planned for 4 weeks and we split up within 5 days or so.

I spent the next three weeks by myself and had the time of my life.

Before my flight back we met again that evening, and we were just as we were back home and fell into our old emotions again.

Now I am home and she doesn't have a return date, but she thinks maybe June. What do I do? Contact has totally deterioted again, and I don't even miss her anymore. I am totally exausted but I don't want to lose her because I know that the connection we have is very special. Should I delete her from Facebook, and end all contact etc? Should I explain EXACTLY how I'm feeling through a message? Or should I wait to speak to her and end it completely?

I don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance,

Talker.

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like she thinks of this as a relationship.

It also sounds like she wants to free to travel and have fun, not be tied down to anything.

It would be best to go no contact and delete block her from social media so you can heal and move on.

I think that this particular girl was special enough for me to call a girlfriend. We spent a lot of time with each other. Now I am home and she doesn't have a return date, but she thinks maybe June.

I feel like if I remove her from my life I will always ask myself 'what if?'