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Thread: Being Taken Advantage of, or all in my Mind?

  1. #261
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    Congrats to BED on her engagement!

  2. #262
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    I've seen gag pens, things that say "Dr. Smith - Vasectomy Specialist"
    I got a bunch of these for my boyfriend when he complained that people at work were walking off with his pens.

  3. #263
    Platinum Member tiredofvampires's Avatar
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    And I just wanted to add...I'm not clear what Naomi is telling HIM, as these issues arise. It seems like something happens she doesn't like, she blows up at him in a poorly communicated way, then comes here to stew over it. Was the fruit issue discussed? Was it discussed in the context of all the other irritations?

    Have you sat down with him, Naomi, and said, "There's a running theme, it seems, with you feeling that if you see someone has a stock of something -- be it pens in my vase, or granola bars in my cabinet, or bananas on my table, or fruit in this person's livingroom, that you feel somehow that you're free to just take it. I want to understand that more, because it very much puts me off, it's disturbing to me. It suggests that you somehow assume you're entitled to something without checking in with the other person or people (aside from asking about the granola bars), as if it's already yours to lay claim to it. I was not raised this way and I feel there is an implied boundary between my stuff and other people's stuff, until they invite me to make their stuff my stuff. Maybe you can explain to me where you're coming from on this, because it conflicts with the behavior I respect, which is not to assume things about other people's possessions, that they are up for grabs."

    I would lay the case out with HIM -- because here, you're not processing or interacting with the person who has a method to this madness, whatever that may be. You're just expressing your disdain here, but you will not get clarity until you actually engage with him in a productive, non-accusatory way with him. And not days and days later -- as soon as you can, fresh with the incident.

  4. #264
    Platinum Member Ms Darcy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    I got a bunch of these for my boyfriend when he complained that people at work were walking off with his pens.
    Naomi should get get gag pens that say: "Please return me to [insert your name] you thief!"

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  6. #265
    Administrator kamurj's Avatar
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    The thread has run its course. Closed.

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