Should I drive to see him?

My boyfriend and I live four hours away from each other , with all the challenges a LDR presents. We talk every day, even if it is just for few minutes, etc. Last night he had been vomiting , and at 2am he was taken to the hospital with what was suspected to be a heart attack. Of course I didn't learn about it until today when he was released to go home. The doctor said it was food poisoning. He is tired and worn out, so we haven't spoken but for a few minutes today. I know if I lived nearby , I would stop by tonight , or even tomorrow , after he has rested , to take care of him , or just to be there for him. But I live four hours away. Should I drive the distance , there and back tomorrow, to be there for him for a little while? Am I being a bad girlfriend if I just call and check up on him instead? He would never ask me to make the drive for him, that is who he is, so it would have to come from me. Do guys like that kind of gesture or would they rather be left alone to rest? My instincts are to jump in the car and go be with him. Btw, his mom lives nearby and is checking in with him.

A 4 hour drive each way is certainly making for a long day, unless you stay over. This is your decision, not all guys think the same. Some would like the company and some would like to be left alone. While food poisoning is no fun, he has survived and hopefully is on the mend. Had it been a heart attack then that'd be different as he'd likely be in hospital for a while. How much do you feel like driving that far? You should ask him if he wants you to visit before making the long drive.

How old are you guys? Food poisoning is unpleasant but not serious. I think that this is one of these things that you either do without asking or no point in doing them. Only you know what type of relationship you have and whether it merits such a grand gesture. I think most people would feel loved and grateful but they would not expect this.

I've had food poisoning many times, and for me it involved having torrential diarrhea and horrible nausea. And when that's going on the last thing I want is my guy to be there to hear me having loud, explosive diarrhea!

It's not a serious illness if he's getting treatment.

I think calling and checking on him would be sufficient.

Thanks everyone . I am new to this whole LDR relationship thing , and sometimes I feel like it is such a delicate balance between what you would normally do if you lived nearby, and what you can do from a distance. Has anyone on here been successful in making things work?

I'm a big romantic so I say go! But only if it won't affect work/school or whatever. Maybe wait until the weekend

Why don't you phone him, and send him something nice as well? Four hours is a no joke, and can tie up your day as well. As a guy, I would be happy with a phone call, lets me know that you were thinking about me, and are genuinely concerned. Save the 4 hour drive for something special!

Don't go. I've had food poisoning several times and unless you bring a nose-clip and plan to sleep in the second bedroom, he's probably more comfortable recovering alone.

If it was a myocardial infarction, then yeah, go.

I'm in an LDR for almost a year now, and we're a 20-hour flight away on different continents and demanding jobs that travel a lot. It's going really great, we love each other very much, but there are tough days, where I'd give anything for a hug from him.

4 hour drive? How I wish! You can listen to great music, have a large coffee in your hand, you'll be there before you know it. I'd talk to him and feel things out. If he's feeling weak, he could probably use a little help. Trust your instinct, always. Best wishes.

gracie808 - I would love to chat with you about how you have been successful and made it work! I ended up not going to see him. All he wanted to do was sleep and be near a toilet! He wants to save a trip for when he feels better. I offered comfort from afar and can;t wait to hug him when I see him.

No. He probably just wants to be alone and recover without entertaining guests or worrying about you. Maybe he doesn't want you to see him dashing to the bathroom etc.

Let his local people help out if needed. Resist the urge to mother or smother. Call here and there to check in but there's nothing's worse than having to attend to other people's need to mother and smother when you just want some time along to veg out in front of the tv.

My boyfriend and I live four hours away from each other. The doctor said it was food poisoning. He would never ask me to make the drive for him, that is who he is, so it would have to come from me. Do guys like that kind of gesture or would they rather be left alone to rest?