I feel so dumb..

Ok here is the story..

A month ago, for the first time, I had the chance to meet my crush (late 20s and male) in a group setting. We usually meet at work. found out that we have a mutual friend, Adam (male and late 20s as well). So Adam told me they arranged a coffee session with my crush if I want to go I should join them. I did.

Then after few weeks when I saw my crush he told me we should go for a coffee sometime in the coming week again, we can invite Adam as well. He said we talk and arrange a date and time in the following days. I said ok. After few days Adam messages me and tells me, they arranged a meeting for friday afternoon and i should join them. It was weird because It's like I already knew about the meeting so I expected my crush to contact me. Anyways. When friday comes, i hear from noone. I message Adam (i am shy so i didnt want to message my crush) to ask if we are still meeting. He says, no we are not because he didnt hear from my crush (btw he doesnt know that i have a crush on him). I felt so bad. Because I was so excited and looking forward to seeing my crush. It made me feel like he doesnt feel the same. Anyways.

Two days ago, again Adam messages me to ask if i wanna join them for a coffee meeting which was going to happen today. I said ok, let me know if its certain because I dont want it to be like last time. He said he will call me at 12pm to confirm. Once again noone calls! And finally at 5pm i msg Adam saying what happened again! He says once again he didnt hear from anyone so he chose to stay with his cousins. I mean I was like ! what was going on?? he said he would contact me and he says he didnt hear from anyone? does my crush even know we were meeting? what the hell?? his answer left me with so many questions!! pure mind fck..

During this two weeks time my crush didnt message me at all. Its just Adam messaging me twice to ask if i can join them, but then nothing.

All this time I thought my crush had a crush on me but he was shy so he was using Adam to arrange meeting. but i doubt it... Maybe its adam who has a crush on me...

But the thing is its weird because if Adam wants to see me he can see me anytime, we have another friend group who we frequently meet.

This situation, which happened twice, made me feel so bad, so dumb, so stupid because I feel betrayed... its like they are playing games... and they dont give a about how this would make me feel. They promise but then they disappear... Its so confusing....I will see my crush on tuesday. and i dont know if i should say something to him about this...I am a shy person as well...

What is your advice?

Honestly it sounds like your crush is a bit flakey. Maybe intentionally, maybe unintentionally... but he seems to be unreliable.

I don't think you can change anything, I think if you like him you just have to go with the flow for the third meeting but just keep it in the back of your mind that this might be something you're letting yourself in for.

On the other hand it could be Adam flaking on you and blaming it on your crush!