Long story.

Ok me and my wife has been seprated a Lil over a month now at first she put a restraing order on me do to a fight we had and I said some such dale things while I was crying and she said she thought I was serious we have 2 children that I would never hurt or lay a finger on she knows that.. but put them on the order as well. I started counseling a few days after I got kicked out of the house. As time wentry by my wife has took the kids off the order so I'm aloud to see my kids and now talk to my wife through phone but no physical contact still.. so I'm working on my self making my self a better person learning new ways to control my emotions better and my anger to not say things I don't mean... OK so I'm handling it ok I'm hurt depressed but not going to hurt her or kids or my self... so a couple days ago my wife told me she was going to a counseling place where we live so she asked my sister to watch kids while at was at work them I would go get them. So I went there and saw my kids but my sis terrible came up to me saying my 3 year old was talking about mommy new friend stay at the house with us and mommy new friend co.e around alot. I was not there so I'm not sure why my 3 year old would say that mommy friend is boy. So some confronted her about it and when my wife came to pick up the kids they got into physical altercation. Where the cops were called I was not there. So sense then my wife has barley talked to me at first I was pist off at my wife cuz I only heard one story that was my sister and I went to the court the next day to see what I can do about getting my kids well some how my wife showed up and she knew what I was doing... but I didn't do that cuz my wife is a good mother I just thought she may not be in the right mindset right now to have the kids and I don't like other guys around my kids I hate that cuz there so small... but the fact is is my wife thinks this is all my fault this was my idea to try to get the kids taken from her and have my sister attack her. I had no idea that was going to happen. I'm not aloud to be physically around my wife so when she came to get the kids I had to leave...

I had no clue my sister was going to push my wife out ogmf her house while screaming kids and the cops were called I didn't like that being around my kids. Yes I went to court house the next day cuz I thought my wife just want to have fun and date while we are seprated mabey I should take the kids for awhile till she figures out what she wants. .... I confronted my sister about this told her how I felt and was not right for her to do that over words being said... my kids will never see my sister again and my wife hates me but talks to me more now then she did she says she don't trust me and wants me away from my family in order to trust me... she wants me home but will not drop order so I refuse to go there till its off.... she says she will divorce me to get money for child support but when I say I want to try repair this and I'm on your side she gives in a Lil bit and says I have to ean her trust back.. what I'm confused... u done the same thing to her awhile back and she for Gavin me that why I am willing to forgive her for everything... but I guess my question is should I just call it quits and settle for divorce? O ya if I divorce her she loses everything we haven't been married for that long and been togther for 5 years. We have 2 children.. I will pay child support and see my kids on regular basis... it seems to me she holding on to something and I can't figure it out? She doesn't want a divorce but says she will but doesn't do it? Idk should I make up her mind fir her just file say forget it? I love her and I'm willing to drop my family for her cuz my family never wanted us to be happy anyway..

What are "dale things?"

"but I guess my question is should I just call it quits and settle for divorce?"

-Husbands don't think like this.

"O ya if I divorce her she loses everything we haven't been married for that..."

- Again, genuine husbands don't think such things.

"Idk should I make up her mind fir her just file say forget it?"

- Same as above.

"I love her..."

- Then you have to change into a loving person.

"and I'm willing to drop my family for her cuz my family never wanted us to be happy anyway.."

- It's not about her or anyone else.

Yes I know husband don't think that way. It's like I'm the rocks with her.. if I try to tall to her I get no answers. If she asked me question and I ignore them then she has me talk to my kids then after that she jumps on the phone asking me a bunch of things. She cries the she yells at me then she calm with me... if I say the wrong thing to her she goes crazi or if I tell the truth I'm a liar... I want to to save my marriage I do she won't let me in to prove or to show her. I'm like so confused lost and she like wishy washy towards me alot. Idk what to do anymore I love the girl. But how do I know when it's over when she don't flat out tell me..

This has been a very unstable relationship from the beginning.

You are abusive, and have some major anger issues. She has also been upset over the years, due to the fact that you make her feel neglected.

This is not a healthy relationship for your children. You are showing them a very dysfunctional dynamic.

I'm abusive???? How do you get that I'm abusive??? I never laid a hand on my wife or my children.. I never fight with my wife ever... when we do argue that only when I say things I don't mean... which is very rare.... not showing her I love her or I care for her neglect her yes I'll give u that one I'm working on that.. but we have some good times more then bad this has all happened in the last month befor that we had no problems but normal problems everyone has. I don't boss my wife or my kids around I come home and hang out with them tell them I love them and I do my best. So abusive us a Lil much on that one

Mabey that is the problem I bottled things up so much that I just shut down and I bottle feeling up so me and my wife do not fight.. I don't like fighting or stress I try my best to stay away from that... so I think if I bottle things up they will just go away. But they dont.. I just shut down

You said that you were verbally abusive. Otherwise, I don't understand how a restraining order was ordered. Abuse is not only physical, but can be just as harmful.

I read your old thread. There have been problems for a long time.

"Ok so i have been with my wife for 5 years now and we have only been married for 8 months or so... we got togther and everything was great we got along honet moon stage lol.... so 7 months into us dateing we got pregnant with are daughter who is now 3 ok so we had up and downs are arguments got pretty bad"

Sounds like you need help with communication, too.

Yes over things I said that night... I was hurt upset that she was txting another man... so I told her I was going to hurt my self and she needed to get out of the house and go live with him if she didn't want to be with me... etc... I was very upset I was crying. I said things that were not true everyone does when emtions are high and anger is there. I never told her ima hit you or ima woop your ass nothing like that.. just the hurt my self thing scared her... I guess which I'm getting help for like 3 days after that happen i went to get help

I think that it is great that you are getting help.

Who is this other man?

I'm sorry, but your story is a little bit hard to understand.

No clue... she said there is no other man don't belive her.. she said she would never bring another man in are house around are kids. I want to belive her but don't know. I have no idea what's going on... all I know she states to me she dont trust me. This is all my fault my family want to take the kids away from her and so do i. But on the other hand wants me to show her I love her earn her trust back and get me away from my family if I ever want to start again with her.. I'm so lost

Like I was talking about she holding on to something but I don't understand what it is. Why she is doing so.

Why is your family so involved?

Well because my family can't keep there dang mouth shut and but in to are business told my wife some stuff that was not true.. that why I think she txted the other guy to get me back for what they said that was not true I tried to defend my self to my wife but o gueas she didn't belive me. Then it that all went down just other day at my sister house when my wife went to pick up the kids after I spent some time with them. My wife was told that my 3 years said mommy new friend stays at the house mommy new friend come over. So I guess when she went to get kids my wife was mad she went in the home as my sister was getting the kids ready word were spoken and my sister pushed her out of her home and called the cops.. I was not there I didn't know anything like that would happen. My wife think I had a part in that thing and I knew aboit I have stated to my wife I had no idea. My sister was going to do that I know she has a big mouth but not physical side of her. I stated to my wife It was not right and I'm on your side and the kids will never see my sister again.. she said she belive me but on the other hand say it all my fault again.. so it like I'm fighting a loseing battle with her to try win her trust back. I been very nice to her I'm changing the way I look at b things while she yell at me over the phone I sTay in a calming mood even tho I'm mad I'm being blamed for something i had no control over.. she threatens me I'll divorce you. Then turns around say earn my trust back. Turns around yells at me blames me. Then turns around say belives me. She on a roller coaster right now..

Have you had couples counseling?

You need to start tp put your foot down with your family. That situation is ridiculous!

I still do not understand how she got a R.O.. if you didn't threaten her?

Just for me saying that I was going to hurt my self the judge ordered the restraing order... that how she got it.. that I was unstable..

I love my wife and all but should I just file for divorce and call it quits in her action seems to me she don't want me back. Or she wants he cake over there and leave me hanging