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A week of silent treatment- what to do next


Roobears

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My relatively new partner has suddenly started giving me the silent treatment because his ex managed to see pictures of us when we first started seeing each other and she didn't like it because he told her he was going to start seeing me 5 weeks after we had already started seeing each other's, she saw the dates of the pictures and went crazy at him.

 

He gave me the cold shoulder for 3days not replying to any messages. He then rang me and we spoke a little about it, he said He feels that I took my profile off private (which I didn't do but he won't believe me) just so that she would see the pictures. Hes apparently not stopped arguing with her (all in the time he wasn't replying to me). I told him I've got what I think are her friends trying to add me but he didn't even seem bothered, I then said I'd had enough off all this and wanted it over. He then said he hated talking to me about his ex and I agreed that now she is affecting our relationship ive also had enough of hearing about her. We left the convo was calm and we left on a relitlivly good note, him saying he would text me when he knew when he was coming home from being away. So I left him to it and carried on giving him space, I didn't hear off him at all yesterday so sent him a text this morning just to ask him to let me know he was ok heard nothing so tried ringing him, didn't answer and got no reply... I'm now at my whits end, I've give him space to cool off, I thought him ringing me and having a talk was a sign he was coming out of this abusive stonewalling but obviously not. This is a relatively new relationship one of which has just been massive ups very happy and very loving until this. I don't want to just walk away as I'm a firm believer of second chances, if it happens again then I will walk.

 

however it's been nearly a week minus the 10 minute phone call so how do I bring him out of this do i leave him to his childish ways (as I think he is home tomorrow so may then contact me as he won't be around friends) or do I send him one last message with something along the lines off appoligising (not that I have done anything just that I value the relationship more than my ego) and say I value our relationship and don't want what's happened to effect us but i won't be trying to get in contact again but when he's ready I will be hear to talk to try and bring him out of his silent treatment.

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When the ex's feelings become more important than the gf's feelings, it is time for gf to walk.

 

He's a *relatively new* partner?

 

You don't owe him much of an explanation.

 

A simple "I have enjoyed our time, but this isn't working for me anymore, wish you the best take care."

 

He knows why you're leaving, he's not stupid.

 

Then block delete, and going forward, the minute a man starts either talking about, talking to, or caring more about his EX, immediate next.

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I would dump him just for staying in contact with his ex. There is no reason for that, especially in this instance. If you don't walk away now, your self esteem is in the gutter and you need to be alone and work on yourself or you will keep attracting losers and missing red flags.

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He has blocked his ex on everything the only way she can contact him is via phone and the reason for him not blocking her on that is because she is buying him out of the house they had together so she owns him money, once she has I know he will cut all contact, I believe him when he says he doesn't want to be with her

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Wow sorry to hear this. He's revolving his life around his 'ex'? Doesn't that seem crazy to you? It sounds more like they are on/off and still quite involved or he's cheating.

 

Dump him asap and go no contact, block and delete him, all his pics, etc from your all your social media.

 

It sounds like you dodged a bullet and can cut your losses early. They are nuts, run.

 

So lets' recap...He accused you of posting pics of you two in order to upset her and when she went ballistic, he confronted you about it? relatively new partner has suddenly started giving me the silent treatment because his ex managed to see pictures of us she saw the dates of the pictures and went crazy at him.He feels that I took my profile off private just so that she would see the pictures. Hes apparently not stopped arguing with her

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He has blocked his ex on everything the only way she can contact him is via phone and the reason for him not blocking her on that is because she is buying him out of the house they had together so she owns him money, once she has I know he will cut all contact, I believe him when he says he doesn't want to be with her

 

So what? He *obviously* still cares more about *her* feelings than * your* feelings.

 

As evidenced by the fact that he's gone silent, ignoring you..... and why?

 

Because, according to him, which you deny, you took your profile off *private* which upset the EX?! Seriously?

 

As if that's not bad enough, he accused you of doing it intentionally to upset the ex!

 

What does this tell you girl?

 

Come on now. No disrespect, but this is just silliness.

 

He is new guy you're dating. This is the time to evaluate to determine if he's the right guy for you.

 

This new *relationship* has all sorts of dysfunctional written all over it.

 

Stop justifying his behavior by saying "oh he's blocked the ex", blah blah.

 

That does not negate the FACT he cares more about her feelings than yours.

 

IMO, this bozo wants out, and is using this silliness to justify ghosting or fading.

 

No man who gave a **** about his gf would behave this way.

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As far as I know, silent treatment is a common passive aggressive punishment technique - but perhaps there are other definitions. The way I understand this, he isn't giving you silent treatment as you don't seem to have done anything "wrong" - although we don't know how the talk after you learning what the ex did went. But maybe there is a reason why the ex is so dominant?

 

If you believe he is not revolving around his ex because of emotional reasons but is giving you the silent treatment, you may have to find out if he is for some reason - which can be a strange reason in your eyes- angry with you.

 

Silent treatment has covert but severe affects on the person exposed to it. It is sometimes described as the worst kind of punishment because we cannot do anything about it. Are you looking after yourself well?

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