I am about to go thru whole divorce process, but all of a sudden i go so afraid

Hello everyone, thank you for all the support on my previous topics. From my last post till now my husband apologized to me and than he again made a mess ( a huge screaming, hitting his own head, stepping on my feet and a lot more screaming because he didint like something i said). He couldnt say in normal way "hey why are you saying that?" He exploded on me repeating all the same i already mentioned in my previous posts. So long story short for those who didnt read my other posts - i am married for 2 years and every 10 days my husband uses something from my behavior as a reason to scream, insult me, sometimes physically attack me, threat on me. 10 days he said how his eyes opened and how wrong he knows he was but than again the other day he sticked to something i said and exploded on that, insulting me, calling me bad names, stepping on my foot. So i told him i want a divorce. I said that 10 days ago he promised to stop but he broke promise for 1000th time again. So since he lives with me and my family i am supposed to find him an apartment and start the whole process of divorce. I am afraid that i will give it up.

I still love him even tho i am not in love with him anymore. I am so scared that because of the fear from missing him i will not push it till the end. This is my chance to start toxic free life i am so afraid i am not strong enough to pull up with that, that in one moment i will feel so sorry that he lives here alone ( he isnt from my country he got nobody here). Many times i wanted to separate but i couldn't because of getting so sentimental. I dont know how to persist and push thru this?

Life is really short. You can't live like this. (The stress of it will make your life even shorter trust me).

Do you have kids?

Get him out of there now! Why arr yiu the one responsible finding him a place? He isn't a 12 year old.

Life is really short. You can't live like this. (The stress of it will make your life even shorter trust me).

 

Do you have kids?

 

Get him out of there now! Why arr yiu the one responsible finding him a place? He isn't a 12 year old.

Hey thank you for your answer. No we dont have kids. I am 26 he is 34.

So why is it on you to find a place to live for him? Next time he physically hurts you call the cops and get him out of there. These things only escalate when you let them drag. Many women end up dead as a result of domestic violence.

He has the option to go back. Maybe if you file for divorce they'll deport this abuser...that would solve his and mostly your problem.

Temper tantrums and making you feel sorry for him is all part of the abuse. Please only talk with him through your attorney and get therapy for abusive relationships.

This is my chance to start toxic free life. i will feel so sorry that he lives here alone he isnt from my country he got nobody here.

He has the option to go back. Maybe if you file for divorce they'll deport this abuser...that would solve his and mostly your problem.

 

Temper tantrums and making you feel sorry for him is all part of the abuse. Please only talk with him through your attorney and get therapy for abusive relationships.

Thank you for your answer. I cant do that. I am simply not that kind of person, i wish i was. I always want to do things in civilized and polite way. But the more time is passing more i am realizing that he wont change either understand any other way than being the way he is - cruel.

Thank you for your answer. I cant do that. I am simply not that kind of person, i wish i was. I always want to do things in civilized and polite way. But the more time is passing more i am realizing that he wont change either understand any other way than being the way he is - cruel.

There is nothing civilized about allowing yourself to get physically and emotionally abused. That is not civilized. You need to protect yourself. The civilized way is calling local authorities (cops) when this happens. This is what civilization means literally.