Dreams and nightmares about breaking up with my ex

Ever since we broke up 12 days ago, I'm having horrible nightmares that recreate what happened

( he said he had feelings for his ex and that he wasn't satisfied with our relationship; gave me details on how he preferred her) I dream about it whether it's at a party, or some other social gathering where they're both together near me or he breaks up with me or tells me all of this all over again.

This nightmares wake me up suddenly and I feel so helpless and anxious and sad and angry and even physically ill.

Has any of you experienced this ?

I haven't experienced this myself, but I think your subconscious mind may be trying to process the enormity of what you are going through.

I'm so sorry you were treated this way.

Hugs.

Ever since we broke up 12 days ago, I'm having horrible nightmares that recreate what happened

( he said he had feelings for his ex and that he wasn't satisfied with our relationship; gave me details on how he preferred her) I dream about it whether it's at a party, or some other social gathering where they're both together near me or he breaks up with me or tells me all of this all over again.

 

 

This nightmares wake me up suddenly and I feel so helpless and anxious and sad and angry and even physically ill.

 

Has any of you experienced this ?

Absolutely, especially in the first month or two post-break up while you are still in shock and your mind is super busy trying to process everything! They will eventually settle down in time.

For now, I would recommend a guided meditation of 10 or 15 minutes before going to bed as it will get you breathing right, and you will be much more settled. Just type "guided meditation" into youtube and there are lots to choose from. Alternatively, play one of those 9 hour long youtube videos of calming music in the background as you sleep, be it "rain noise" or "forest sounds" etc, particularly if you wake up in a panic - should help to relax you.

Definitely! Has been one of my worst demons, the nightmares.. Was pretty much every night first couple of months, then it got a little rarer only to get worse, and now it still happens but fourtenately not as much, think mine got a little worse from some drug abuses one dark time, but none the less horrifying.. A few minor things that helped me was, a 15 minute heart meditation before sleeping, (sometimes it had reverse effect, but with practice it became soooooo relaxing) to clear thoughts and stuff.. Also remind yourself that all your nightmares are dark energy shooting through like the clouds on the sky, they are only there for a second (even when it feels like longer) and it doesnt exist, its empty energy.

I have had nightmares about ex every night for a month. I am a very vivid dreamer, always have been...I think its not really helping me heal as i awake anxious many mornings.

Well, I wouldn't say I had nightmares but I had dreams about my ex husband it lasted about 2 to 3 years which pretty much woke me up everyday calling out for him. It was like going back reliving the whole scenario where I was in both of apartments packing our stuff up. And dividing our stuff. We've been divorced for 8 years now. But having these dreams reliving these was not fun at all. It got to a point where it was driving me crazy. Luckily, it stopped.

Thanks, I hope the processing hurries up

I have had nightmares about ex every night for a month. I am a very vivid dreamer, always have been...I think its not really helping me heal as i awake anxious many mornings.

Exactly ! I wake up super hurt and anxious and it takes me a few hours to recover.

Definitely! Has been one of my worst demons, the nightmares.. Was pretty much every night first couple of months, then it got a little rarer only to get worse, and now it still happens but fourtenately not as much, think mine got a little worse from some drug abuses one dark time, but none the less horrifying.. A few minor things that helped me was, a 15 minute heart meditation before sleeping, (sometimes it had reverse effect, but with practice it became soooooo relaxing) to clear thoughts and stuff.. Also remind yourself that all your nightmares are dark energy shooting through like the clouds on the sky, they are only there for a second (even when it feels like longer) and it doesnt exist, its empty energy.

That helps, I'll try that tonight. Sometimes I wake up and say " it's over, the dream is over, everything has passed. They're (my ex and his new love interest) are no longer part of your life, they can't take away anymore of it." It has become my mantra for the past three days and it helps a little.

Yes! Sounds like a wonderful idea. Will do. Thank you!

Yes, it isn't the nicest when you hope to escape things in your sleep. I would write things down before bed time and that would help before going to bed, left me with clear sleep!

I had another dream last night. He came back from space (I guess this represents his work, which actually happened) and had to decompress. I saw him and he looked I'll and I gave him cuddles. He said that doesn't mean we are getting back, I understood but cried. He said he had been talking with an ex and they are getting together as she's happy - he kept texting her while telling me this and holding me while laying on ground. I asked about all the stuff he said, like assuming what I want in life without ever asking and he said I don't know, I said a bunch of stuff I would like to say in real life. I told him to have a nice life and meant it. He said don't be like that.

I did cry about him before sleeping last night and have have woken up feeling sick from the dream. I need to go back to sleep to get the dream out of my head.

I haven't heard from my ex in real life. I'm pretty sure he thinks the grass is greener. He will still have problems in a new relationship I think eventually as he does not communicate well. I hashed it with a friend and our break-up was based on misunderstanding. It's a bit ridiculous when it comes down to it.

What are your dreams like OP?

I have them too. About twice a week I wake up bc I have horribly stressful dreams about him. The awfulness vanishes quickly once I've jolted awake but they are no fun.

I had another dream last night. He came back from space (I guess this represents his work, which actually happened) and had to decompress. I saw him and he looked I'll and I gave him cuddles. He said that doesn't mean we are getting back, I understood but cried. He said he had been talking with an ex and they are getting together as she's happy - he kept texting her while telling me this and holding me while laying on ground. I asked about all the stuff he said, like assuming what I want in life without ever asking and he said I don't know, I said a bunch of stuff I would like to say in real life. I told him to have a nice life and meant it. He said don't be like that.

 

I did cry about him before sleeping last night and have have woken up feeling sick from the dream. I need to go back to sleep to get the dream out of my head.

I haven't heard from my ex in real life. I'm pretty sure he thinks the grass is greener. He will still have problems in a new relationship I think eventually as he does not communicate well. I hashed it with a friend and our break-up was based on misunderstanding. It's a bit ridiculous when it comes down to it.

 

What are your dreams like OP?

Sounds like a painful experience Ven if it's just a dream. I think our brains recreate tha scene or scenes that hurt us the most because those are the ones we're having a hard time getting over. So, in an attempt to process and understand what happened and those feelings, our mind recreates the traumatic events. My story is similar: my ex said he felt confused about his ex. My dreams are horrible : I dream we are at party's together and then I notice how he can't stop staring at his ex so I confront him, he admits to it and we break up. Another one is being in the same workplace and then me screwing up at some task I'm doing and she (her ex) coming to help and fix the mess I did and him praising her for it and then leaving together. And the most painful one was the first one: I was desperate to get him back so I visit him at his parents house at night when everybody's sleeping and get into his room for reconciliation in a desperate attempt to convince him to choose me. I soon as I get there, I notice his door is locked and when I knock he opens and says "im busy at the moment, I'm sorry." So I leave and go to a supermarket to buy something to drink and calm down. As I'm leaving the supermarket, I see him and his ex come by together holding hands and I stare at them and he just says "bye bye pumpkin" mockingly as they leave laughing. They sound pretty simple but trust me it's not nice to feel the rejection and the replacement all over again.

Oh God, you're like me then. I remember dreams in great detail. Like down to the colours of the walls and if people have jewellery on etc.

Last night I had a different one. Probably from reading threads on here and also some small comment he said one time about how another girl does not complain like me...

I dreamed he was with someone else. She was all over him and didn't realise we were still together when they got together. I told her, she was surprised but didn't care. She had an actress name. I was trying to show ex photos of a rafting trip but she was interrupting. I was flipping between crying and being strong (this happened in real life too) in the end they went off together and I discovered she filled my perfume with water.

So again I feel like I need a nap to sleep the memory away although sometimes I wake up in the night from a nightmare and when I sleep again it just continues.

I would not enjoy your dream either, it doesn't help understand it makes it worse imo. I feel I'm in a dream in the day and the night. It's still not real, but then the dreams feel real. Confusing !

How long ago did you break up ??

Just reading that is painful. It's like your mind is rubbing it on your face. Doesn't seem fair but it has a purpose. I know how horribke it is to witness them preferring another girl. How are you doing now? My nightmares are more controlled I barely have them but the mornings are painful I wake up shocked and recreate the breakup scene all over again and I cry in my bed until I wake up. I broke up with him 20 days ago. What about you ?