She takes a lot of selfies...

I've been living with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. She has a baby with another man. And I've recently been diagnosed with Anxiety. Sounds like a crazy mix right? I'm sure I'll be posting in here a lot so I'll just cover one issue at a time.

She's a selfie queen. She posts soooo many pictures of herself it's not even funny. She seems obsessed with her appearance. I tell her a million times a day that she's gorgeous. Her beauty has literally brought me to tears. It's breathtaking honestly. But most of the pictures she posts are rather seductive. Sometimes bra selfies, sometimes seductive faces that just look inviting to guys. She's also one of those girls that get 75+ likes per selfie. I remember one day she got 52 likes on a selfie and she was genuinely bummed out about it. It legitimately made her sad. That makes me feel so low that it doesn't matter how much I glorify her beauty and tell her how gorgeous I think she is, she still seems to seek that attention from other guys.

She says it's because her makeup looks good that day and she wants people to see it. I tell her I don't understand why she has to be in a bra for people to see her makeup and why she has to make seductive faces. And why does it have to be as frequent as it is.

It's become such an issue that she deleted her Instagram account and I tell her that doesn't fix anything. I want her to have the freedom of social media and enjoy it, I just want her to act right. If she needs to delete it to act right then isn't there a bigger issue? Am I crazy? Please help.

Bear in mind I wouldn't touch this lady with a 10 foot pole but I'll never understand a grown man who nags. The woman takes a lot of selfies. It's what she wants to do. Find a woman who doesn't. You've already complained. Then you complained more when she solved the issue but in a way you didn't like. Unfortunately, it's illegal to cattleprod a woman, so I think you're out of options.

Well I'm going to assume she was already doing this before you guys were together or moved in together right? She seems like she really enjoys the attention. It can be addictive for some. Be happy she deleted it. Many people delete their accounts to keep it from being a distraction....social media is a general problem all throughout the world. (it isn't just her) just some people don't like it....others don't care. If you don't like it and it truly bothers you, then express that. If she doesn't stop and it still bothers you, break up. But is it really worth losing over "selfies" ? You also say you will be on here a lot.....I hope you aren't referring to more issues you guys may have together.

How long have you been dating? How old is she? She sounds quite vain, conceited, shallow and desperate for social media attention. Just ignore it, it's her issue. Watch out for other selfish, self centered behaviors.

I've been living with my girlfriend for about 6 months now. She has a baby with another man. most of the pictures she posts are rather seductive. She's also one of those girls that get 75+ likes per selfie. She says it's because her makeup looks good that day and she wants people to see it.

Either accept her for who she is or hit the road and find someone more suitable and better aligned with your own values and views. You simply do not get involved with a grown adult in order to change them to your tastes and tell them what they can and cannot do. That never ever ends well.

Well, she's a "like" hunter. You probably knew this before you two started dating.

About bra pics, she understands that it's not her makeup skills that get likes...

About bra pics, she understands that it's not her makeup skills that get likes...

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Unfortunately, some people base their value and self esteem on their looks, only to eventually learn otherwise the very hard way.

But, she is who she is. Only you can decide if you can accept her as is, without nagging or complaining or trying to change her.

Just remember, if you ask more from life, it will give you more. You ask for superficial...that's what you will get.

People like this don't just stop and may never stop.

Good luck. But I would never date anyone like this.

You aren't crazy to think she has issues. I wouldn't date someone so insecure and self centered for many reasons.

It's pointless banging your head against the wall hoping she'll magically turn into a different person though. Take it or leave it.

There are a lot of beautiful women in this world. Some of them have substance too. Why settle for a shell ?

Her Happiness is dependent on the positive attention of others , her looks , her body , her choices are only *good* if they are good for everyone else . she certainly isn't the only person on facebook who is like this and your word alone wont make her happy ...this is who she is ...... leave her to it or get out ...

Recently, I read somewhere, that when someone acts out this way-- they have issues... possibly like mental issues

Sounds like she is VERY negative about herself and is crying out for some kind of attention.... although it IS the wrong thing to be doing.. and wrong way to get respected.

I suggest you coast slowly with this one.

Not sure how long you've been involved here.. but you been living with her 6 months?

Omg- she has YOU. She should not be posting those kinds of pic's like she does. ( sounds like an insecurity etc.)

Of which you can NOT 'fix' in her.

 

She's a selfie queen. She posts soooo many pictures of herself it's not even funny. She seems obsessed with her appearance. I tell her a million times a day that she's gorgeous. Her beauty has literally brought me to tears. It's breathtaking honestly. But most of the pictures she posts are rather seductive. Sometimes bra selfies, sometimes seductive faces that just look inviting to guys. She's also one of those girls that get 75+ likes per selfie. I remember one day she got 52 likes on a selfie and she was genuinely bummed out about it.

Bolded/underlined - okay this is just flat out narcissism, no other way to describe it.

She got 52 likes on one selfie, and was bummed about it? Presumably because she didn't receive more?

Good lord.

Do with that info what you will, but to say this chick has "issues" is an understatement.

I wouldn't be down for my BF posting selfies in his underwear. The world has gone mad with social media. She is acting like a Kartrashian. Ugh.

She has self-esteem issues for sure. Instagram will do that to ya.

But hey, she deleted it. I wouldn't be breaking up over selfies. It's her issue, not yours.

I wouldn't be down for my BF posting selfies in his underwear.

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She has self-esteem issues for sure. Instagram will do that to ya.

 

But hey, she deleted it. I wouldn't be breaking up over selfies. It's her issue, not yours.

I dunno I always struggle to understand the rationale behind this mentality.

When someone admires themselves so much, and expects such extreme admiration from others, to the point of being bummed because she/he received ONLY 52 likes on one selfie, how is that a low self-esteem issue?

I realize you're not alone for thinking this way Jagger J, I just personally don't understand it.

To me it sounds like her self-esteem is excessively high, off the charts high. Which warrants her to be admired by everyone, a mere 52 likes would actually be insulting to someone like this.

Same when someone acts superior, arrogant and condescending.

Many believe that person is actually very insecure, but again don't understand that.

To me when someone acts arrogantly and superior to others, he thinks WAY too highly of himself, which is the opposite of insecure.

Also, I think when someone expects such glaring admiration from others, it does impact the person he/she is in a RL with, how could it not?

That said, he cannot control her, so he either chooses to accept this about her, or walk away.

Bear in mind I wouldn't touch this lady with a 10 foot pole but I'll never understand a grown man who nags.

But you would touch her with your one foot pole?!

Social media turns everybody tragic and narcissistic!

Social media turns everybody tragic and narcissistic!

Okay THAT makes sense!

She is acting like a Kartrashian.

[video=youtube;2PkEX91uzh4] ]

Well, she's a "like" hunter. You probably knew this before you two started dating.

 

About bra pics, she understands that it's not her makeup skills that get likes...

I agree with wolfshook. You had to know early on she was this way. She likes the attention, and she gets it. And its the guys who are the problem. Its making you feel insecure cause shes essentially sexually arousing other guys...

Having her delete it, not going to fix anything Im afraid. In fact, might get worse cause for one she will find an alternative to get that needed attention, and you might not like what it is. And two, she might have acted ok with deleting it, but give it a month or two, she will probably use it against you for 'invading her personal life' and stuff like that.

Look, if shes a girl who needs lots of attention for her beauty, then you are probably not going to be able to mirror her own value and beauty. It will in some way continue, and I get why you could be concerned with this, but you might have to accept it wont change any time soon.. if ever, and her need for outside validation might cause you to need to look elsewhere.