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Thread: Semi adult stubborn child

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    ~Seraphim ~
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    Semi adult stubborn child

    Because my son is 19 he needs to phone our general practitioner so he can get a referral to a developmental paediatrician here in my local area. The developmental ped also looks after adults with developmental disabilities. My son needs that developmental paediatrician to fill out a government form so he can get disability tax credit and a certificate number so he can get an RDSP. ( retirement investment for the disabled.) Right now he does not " see the need." I would also have coach him how to make that call.

    Help!!!

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    gebaird
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    Does he live with you? Do you support him or pay a portion of his expenses? He is a legal adult and entitled to make his own choices, but so are you -- and you don't have to keep providing for his needs if he isn't going to be smart about asking for the help he requires.

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    Quote Originally Posted by gebaird [Register to see the link]
    Does he live with you? Do you support him or pay a portion of his expenses? He is a legal adult and entitled to make his own choices, but so are you -- and you don't have to keep providing for his needs if he isn't going to be smart about asking for the help he requires.
    He lives with us,yes and pays a small portion of his expenses. However, due to the fact he is on disability he is not entitled to save for his retirement without this certificate number.

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    I would never ever turn him out. He will likely be with us for life. He is going to college though to make his like better.

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    gebaird
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    Is there something he would really enjoy that you might be able to bribe him with?

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    Wiseman2
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    Can you make the call and the appt. at the pediatrician, then he can take it from there? That may avert this power struggle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria66 [Register to see the link]
    Because my son is 19 he needs to phone our general practitioner so he can get a referral to a developmental paediatrician here in my local area. Right now he does not " see the need." I would also have coach him how to make that call.

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    I know no 19 year old really understands the concept of retirement and save for it. He doesn't see it as a priority and I am trying to get him there.

    The bribe factor might be low just after Christmas but I can try.

    We have been told he will probably never work because it will cause anxiety that is too great. Intellectually he gets things.... processing time exceedingly slow. They said he could be independent by 40 or so. His life skills very poor. He was not identified as autistic until 17 and he did not qualify for an program as he is " not disabled enough." There are no adult programs for autistics.

    He will not submit to ANYTHING that he feels someone is using to make him non autistic. He goes bat crap.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseman2 [Register to see the link]
    Can you make the call and the appt. at the pediatrician, then he can take it from there? That may avert this power struggle.
    No, he is a consulting ped. We need a referral.

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    rosephase
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    Well this isn't helpful but if it makes you feel any better 19 year olds all over the spectrum of neurological diversity have trouble planning for the future. I drove my parents crazy by never renewing my car tags. He's lucky to have such a caring Mom looking out for him and his future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rosephase [Register to see the link]
    Well this isn't helpful but if it makes you feel any better 19 year olds all over the spectrum of neurological diversity have trouble planning for the future. I drove my parents crazy by never renewing my car tags. He's lucky to have such a caring Mom looking out for him and his future.
    Absolutely they do. Their planning is very poor due to the lack of executive function. Are you neuro diverse, Rosephase?
    Yes, we both love him to bits. ❤

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