Lots of people who stink at math have secure futures. You don't have to be good at math - let the accountant be good at math. You could teach him or have him take a class in practical math - every day math you need for recipes, etc., All of the "percentile" for his age might not be accurate or meaningless if they are counting on his peers being able to pass Algebra and Calculus. If he has a grasp on second to fourth grade math, he can go far in life on the basics. Signing up for a percentage to be taken out of your check or account every month to go towards a retirement account does not require math skills. it requires the want to have a retirement fund.
Being POA just means that you could have access to take care of things like this for him on his behalf. Doesn't mean that you would take his money and dole out an allowance like my parents have to do for my sister. What if you made a written contract together saying "Okay, by you giving me/your dad POA, it means that I will do x, y, z but I will not do a, b, c."?
It's just a thought. Luckily, my sister is very agreeable. If she had put up a s__t fit and tried to squander her trust (intended to last her for the rest of her life), my family would have gone the legal route of getting her declared incompetent to manage her affairs and boy, that would have been a mess. Would have worked, but would have been a mess. Her overall agreeable nature has made it so this was not necessary.
It's a tough situation because he is disabled and lacks executive function, yet this thing that you're asking him to do, it doesn't sound like he's capable of doing on his own or having an understanding of really why he needs this. This is not a simple case of "young 'n' dumb" neurotypical young folks who put off saving for retirement.
There are some things that someone with a disability can do, and somethings that they can't. Depends on the disability, the severity, and the person. My family had to accept a long time ago that there were going to be certain things that my sister just. cannot. do. It is not a matter of her developing and getting better, she is kind of capped out in terms of SIGNIFICANT cognitive change in most of her departments according to many psychiatrists who have worked with her. She can acquire knowledge and some skills but she is not going to change the way that she is wired. She will never be able to handle her finances. She cannot visualize certain ideas. She doesn't understand certain things. She has sequencing issues. She has little practical sense. She cannot be trusted in an emergency. All of the tough love and education in the world won't change that now.
I really hope you can get to a place with your son where he will let you help him make the right choices because to me, it really sounds like he needs it. That's not a fault or anything, but it is the nature of autism.
It is an interesting dynamic. With rights come responsibilities. Maybe the only thing you can do is secretly plan a safety net. And communictae to him that you trust him to find his way. And then back off. So hard. Don't know.
I think it's more he wants to stand on his own 2 feet because everyone in the universe has told him he never will. So far he has proved every doctor wrong and he wants to continue to do that .
My sister is independent to the best of her ability but there are some things that she cannot do and she knows when to ask for help because she knows that her autism makes certain tasks very difficult and she needs to seek help from someone like my parents or myself.
I wish you luck regardless. If he is really stubborn on this, I would probably bribe him, tbh. I forsee a rocky future unless you can get him to be more pliable over time (may occur naturally) or you get the law on your side and take some control, which can be very arduous.
This ^ along with a clear explanation of why YOU need him to do this. I'd tell him that I'm not going to be around forever to support him, and I need to know that this money will be available to him if anything happens to me. I'd ask him what kind of reward he'd like from me for completing the task, then I'd consider what I can afford to bribe him with.
"I'd consider this a personal favor to me, and I'd be willing to reward you with XYZ if you'll do it for me."
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