I have been dating a new guy for a few weeks now, and I'm not comfortable enough to sleep with him yet. We talked about it, I explained my values, and that I don't do things I'm not proud of. He said he understood and respected me too much to want to make me uncomfortable and mess up our new relationship.
I ended up in a situation where we were out and spent the night together in the same bed, but nothing happened and he didn't try to force himself into me. He's always such a gentleman and makes me feel very safe, which is why I like him so much. He did make a comment that sometimes he'll want to see if my boundaries are still there since boundaries change with time, but to let him know if I'm uncomfortable and he will stop.
Since I met him on Christmas vacation and we spent that entire week together, we are now back at work. I have been seeing him no less than 3 times every week, and he plans all the days (based on my schedule) that he'll see me after our last date for the week. He also just got $700 VIP tickets to a music festival in June for us, and has been talking about vacationing together.
He sort of invited me to a family event Sunday but I could hear it in his voice he expected me to say "no" (which I did). He then got a wedding invitation for his buddy's wedding in September and excitedly showed it to me asking if I thought it was cool. I said yes but made no further inquiries. He took me for a luxury spa day with him at a beautiful resort yesterday, and then out for an amazing dinner and wine (I insisted I paid for dinner). I agreed to go back to his place because I love spending time with him, we have the same sense of humor, he's easy and fun to be around and I love being close to him.
We ended up making out watching a movie, but I stopped before things got heated. Then he just cuddled with me and goes "So that's your boundary. Okay". He never seemed pissed or annoyed, just super sweet and gentle as always. He asked me why I am afraid of intimacy.
I explained I'm not but I want to really know who he is before blindsiding myself and complicating things with sex. He said part of figuring out if you like someone is sexual compatibility and what if I fall in love with him only to learn he sucks in bed? I said we have all the time in the world to figure that out, I just want to get to know him. He asked what I wanted to know, and I honestly told him there was nothing he could tell me, I just needed to see for myself. Words mean nothing, I have no rules, only my intuition and emotions.
We cuddled and playfully joked with each other for the rest of the night, and he made plans to see me 3 more times this week. I love spending time with him, and he said he can't wait to see me again either.
I'm afraid I'll turn him off by not sleeping with him. He said he was never into one night stands and wants something serious with me. He said he's not a player or anything, and really likes me. I'm just not ready, but I don't want him to think I'm playing games.