Ups and downs

How do you deal with the ups and downs of a parents cancer? It's like she has great days that she can get up, get a bath, normal daily stuff, and says she's beating this and is going to get better. Then there's a week that she can't hardly move. And it almost seems like she's loosing a grasp on reality, there no one specific thing, it's just small things I notice when I'm there. Another thing, I was trying to help her out with her checkbook, trying to keep her from overdrafting, but she got all pissed off and told me she had it figured out that she could pay her utilities managing her own checkbook, so I just said fine whatever, all I was trying to do was help her save enough money to go to the damn doctor so she could get that cancer either treated or cut out. She don't help out with the loan I got for her so she wouldn't loose her car after she did a title loan, plus I've seen what happens when she "manages" her checkbook it's a major cf, checks bouncing like rubber balls and calls me to pay her bills. Maybe I'm being selfish and I prolly am, just tired of trying to pick up the pieces and make it whole again. Another reason I say she's loosing grip on reality, when I arranged for home health to come in, we agreed that they would come 4 times a week. I had budgeted money in for that, I got the latest bill, it was twice the amount I had budgeted in. I looked at her and asked how often they were coming, she looked me dead in the eye and said 4 times a week, just straight lied to me. Sorry about the whining and complaining

It sounds like you are dealing with more than just cancer here (which is hard enough), but challenges with dysfunction and boundaries. I would look for a caregivers support group in your area. They may be able to help you through what is obviously a very difficult situation.