Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 19 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 189

Thread: Can I Safely Date Older Men?

  1. #1
    SkyBlue98
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    61
    Thanked
    7

    Can I Safely Date Older Men?

    If you're reading this, thank you so much and I'll try not to go on and on basically I'm an 18 year old girl and I'm very inexperienced at relationships. I've never had a boyfriend, and the farthest I've ever gone with a guy is having one awkwardly shove his tongue into my mouth at prom. So, basically nothing.

    For whatever reason I've always been attracted to older men. In my defense, I really like older women as well, in a friendly way- I probably feel more connected to them than girls my age. But I REALLY like older men, like men in their 40s and sometimes even older. I think they just seem so much more intelligent and they have so much to say. I just can't really feel very much for guys my age- some of them are sweet, but I just don't feel attraction.

    If I was in my 20s this wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm only 18. I'm on okcupid and I do sometimes get contacted by men in their 40s but then I'm not really impressed with those guys... They seem immature, if they're 40-something and hitting on an 18-year-old online.

    My fantasy is to meet someone older than me naturally, someone who I could start out having a friendship with, or who could almost be like a mentor to me. Someone who wouldn't meet me and be looking at me with the intention of eventually sleeping with me. But who knows how long that could take? I really have the urge to be with someone, but I want it to be someone I can like and respect, and vice versa.

    I was thinking of just finding guys on okcupid who seem nice and then messaging them, but I just wish I could meet someone in a more natural way... What are your thoughts? (Oh, and please don't tell me to just wait a few years. That may be the obvious answer, but that's also really difficult.)

    Thank you!

  2. Thanks yakuza noi noi thanked for this post
  3. #2
    melancholy123
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    3,330
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2035
    Any 40ish or older guy who expresses an interest in you, knowing you are 18, is looking to get laid. That's it, nothing more. Focus on young men in your own age group.

  4. Thanks lostandhurt, Wiseman2, Ms Darcy thanked for this post
  5. #3
    lostandhurt
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    53
    Posts
    6,932
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2556
    Any guy on OLD that sees that you are interested in 40 something men will think you want a sugar daddy, a guy to take care of you, buy you things and of course have sex.

    It sounds like you want a father figure not a bf.

    You will not find what you are looking for online, make friends at work, hang out where the crowd is a little older than you and smile and talk to guys and I am sure you will get attention.

    Lost

  6. Thanks RainyCoast, melancholy123 thanked for this post
  7. #4
    agent
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Age
    34
    Posts
    10,405
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1782
    You're not going to make friends on okcupid any more than you are on other dating sites. The guys who contact you on there are doing so for the express purpose of dating/sleeping with an 18 year old.

    All you can do to fulfill the criteria you have is meet more old men. That said, most 40 yr old men who'd date an 18 year old are well... yeah, age is no indicator of intelligence.

    Sounds to me more like you want an older guy who'd make you feel safe but without actually moving on an attraction to you. That is not really possible. Don't start off your romantic life by trying to find a second Daddy.

  8. #5
    gebaird
    Platinum Member gebaird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    An island of peace in an ocean of chaos
    Posts
    1,855
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1957
    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but how's your relationship with your dad? You may be trying to compensate for some deficiency in that area.

    I know a lot of nice guys who are 40+, none of whom would date an 18-year-old.

  9. Thanks Almira23, Wiseman2, RainyCoast, melancholy123 thanked for this post
  10. #6
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,408
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16515
    There are a few of dating sites specifically for that:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]

  11. Thanks JaggerJim thanked for this post
  12. #7
    HeartGoesOn
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    15,314
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3539
    Be careful to avoid opening yourself up for being an easy target, where you can be seen as someone who can easily be taken advantage of. I think it's safe to say that the majority of men in their 40's who choose to get involved with an 18 y/o, are banking on your vulnerability.

    Be safe...

  13. #8
    JaggerJim
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,621
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1420
    I think you should try men 25-30 age range if your looking for older.

    It's not too much older. 40+ is too old and creepy.

  14. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  15. #9
    JaggerJim
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,621
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1420
    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseman2 [Register to see the link]
    There are a few of dating sites specifically for that:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]
    LooooooL!!!

  16. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  17. #10
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,408
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16515
    Agree..that's a fantasy. Dating sites are not for mentoring or friends. They are for dating and sex and relationships. Try dating some collage aged guys. They may be more mature, intelligent and interesting to you than high school boys. Middle aged men are often married and have kids your age.
    Quote Originally Posted by SkyBlue98 [Register to see the link]
    My fantasy is to meet someone older than me naturally, someone who I could start out having a friendship with, or who could almost be like a mentor to me. Someone who wouldn't meet me and be looking at me with the intention of eventually sleeping with me.

  18.  

Page 1 of 19 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
OK so after 4 dates here are the issues I have with her
On two of the dates she made no effort to look pretty she just threw anything on and came to see me. I am not going to lie I felt kind of insulted
Online men not taking me seriously even after meeting, help?
[SIZE=2]I am having a problem with online dating. Most of the time when I message men, they donít believe that my pictures are real. They start
Dating Out of Your League?
Hello eNA, I've been away for quite some time but I'm back with a 'problem' I never thought I'd post about. I feel as though my girlfriend is
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
She works retail, said she wouldn't find out when she's free until today?
We texted back and forth a few times, all was well and good. Use of emojis, interest in me, etc. Last Friday, I asked her what days she would be
She went cold, should I text and confirm our date?
Got talking to a girl from an online dating app. Exchanged numbers, started whatsapping. All seemed to be going well, she had asked me last week if I
Not physically attracted
I have been dating this guy for a few months and we have so much in common and seem to have the same values. In his photos online he looks much more

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I didnt know this was cheating until i saw how much it hurt him
So my boyfriend and I have been together 8 months. It's been pretty close to perfect over all until last weekend. We trusted each other before this
Interview Vibes
Hello, eNA! I have posted a few times about my career search - thank you all for the help! I've been having a lot more luck lately and have four
Ex from seven years ago married
My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the
❌Did i just get stood up????❌
A few weeks ago this guy and i started texting. It was a pretty instant interest right from the start, on both ends. He kept telling me how
HELP My boyfriend blocked me after an argument
Almost 3 weeks ago me and my (EX) boyfriend that ive been seeing for about a year had a huge explosive and petty fight over him being selfish/ self
My wife has zero trust in me
So we have been married for about 8 months now, everything was fine prior to marriage. From the day we got married to today, it has been a living
21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated
I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •