Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 19 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 189

Thread: Can I Safely Date Older Men?

  1. #1
    SkyBlue98
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    61
    Thanked
    7

    Can I Safely Date Older Men?

    If you're reading this, thank you so much and I'll try not to go on and on basically I'm an 18 year old girl and I'm very inexperienced at relationships. I've never had a boyfriend, and the farthest I've ever gone with a guy is having one awkwardly shove his tongue into my mouth at prom. So, basically nothing.

    For whatever reason I've always been attracted to older men. In my defense, I really like older women as well, in a friendly way- I probably feel more connected to them than girls my age. But I REALLY like older men, like men in their 40s and sometimes even older. I think they just seem so much more intelligent and they have so much to say. I just can't really feel very much for guys my age- some of them are sweet, but I just don't feel attraction.

    If I was in my 20s this wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm only 18. I'm on okcupid and I do sometimes get contacted by men in their 40s but then I'm not really impressed with those guys... They seem immature, if they're 40-something and hitting on an 18-year-old online.

    My fantasy is to meet someone older than me naturally, someone who I could start out having a friendship with, or who could almost be like a mentor to me. Someone who wouldn't meet me and be looking at me with the intention of eventually sleeping with me. But who knows how long that could take? I really have the urge to be with someone, but I want it to be someone I can like and respect, and vice versa.

    I was thinking of just finding guys on okcupid who seem nice and then messaging them, but I just wish I could meet someone in a more natural way... What are your thoughts? (Oh, and please don't tell me to just wait a few years. That may be the obvious answer, but that's also really difficult.)

    Thank you!

  2. Thanks yakuza noi noi thanked for this post
  3. #2
    melancholy123
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    3,070
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1805
    Any 40ish or older guy who expresses an interest in you, knowing you are 18, is looking to get laid. That's it, nothing more. Focus on young men in your own age group.

  4. Thanks lostandhurt, Wiseman2, Ms Darcy thanked for this post
  5. #3
    lostandhurt
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    53
    Posts
    6,858
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2447
    Any guy on OLD that sees that you are interested in 40 something men will think you want a sugar daddy, a guy to take care of you, buy you things and of course have sex.

    It sounds like you want a father figure not a bf.

    You will not find what you are looking for online, make friends at work, hang out where the crowd is a little older than you and smile and talk to guys and I am sure you will get attention.

    Lost

  6. Thanks RainyCoast, melancholy123 thanked for this post
  7. #4
    agent
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Age
    34
    Posts
    10,368
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1721
    You're not going to make friends on okcupid any more than you are on other dating sites. The guys who contact you on there are doing so for the express purpose of dating/sleeping with an 18 year old.

    All you can do to fulfill the criteria you have is meet more old men. That said, most 40 yr old men who'd date an 18 year old are well... yeah, age is no indicator of intelligence.

    Sounds to me more like you want an older guy who'd make you feel safe but without actually moving on an attraction to you. That is not really possible. Don't start off your romantic life by trying to find a second Daddy.

  8. #5
    gebaird
    Platinum Member gebaird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    An island of peace in an ocean of chaos
    Posts
    1,788
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1891
    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but how's your relationship with your dad? You may be trying to compensate for some deficiency in that area.

    I know a lot of nice guys who are 40+, none of whom would date an 18-year-old.

  9. Thanks Almira23, Wiseman2, RainyCoast, melancholy123 thanked for this post
  10. #6
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    19,521
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    14164
    There are a few of dating sites specifically for that:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]

  11. Thanks JaggerJim thanked for this post
  12. #7
    HeartGoesOn
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    15,078
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3274
    Be careful to avoid opening yourself up for being an easy target, where you can be seen as someone who can easily be taken advantage of. I think it's safe to say that the majority of men in their 40's who choose to get involved with an 18 y/o, are banking on your vulnerability.

    Be safe...

  13. #8
    JaggerJim
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,265
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1130
    I think you should try men 25-30 age range if your looking for older.

    It's not too much older. 40+ is too old and creepy.

  14. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  15. #9
    JaggerJim
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,265
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1130
    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseman2 [Register to see the link]
    There are a few of dating sites specifically for that:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]
    LooooooL!!!

  16. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  17. #10
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    19,521
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    14164
    Agree..that's a fantasy. Dating sites are not for mentoring or friends. They are for dating and sex and relationships. Try dating some collage aged guys. They may be more mature, intelligent and interesting to you than high school boys. Middle aged men are often married and have kids your age.
    Quote Originally Posted by SkyBlue98 [Register to see the link]
    My fantasy is to meet someone older than me naturally, someone who I could start out having a friendship with, or who could almost be like a mentor to me. Someone who wouldn't meet me and be looking at me with the intention of eventually sleeping with me.

  18.  

Page 1 of 19 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
Weight and eating during dates
Hi, been a while since I've posted here. Anyway been dating a guy for last few months, everything seemed to be going pretty well for the most part
Met a guy who seems way too busy for a relationship
Met a guy who seems way too busy for a relationship. Heís great in every sense. Heís smart, funny, attractive, but he seems way too preoccupied
She cancelled our date and I had no time to make other plans
The girl I was scheduled to meet today cancelled on meet through text last night and I was left with no other options tonight and home alone. I
Does she like me or not?
I met a girl from online dating, after the first date we kissed, she told me at the end of the date that she wanted to see me again and asked if I
Dating a highly functional alcoholic
I have realized over time that my boyfriend of a couple of months has a problem with alcohol. Every time we hang out, he drinks a whole bottle of
Am i being materialisitc/superficial
my friend has been bugging me for some time now, saying that I will never settle down with a man unless I lower my standards. I'm a young 29 year
shes playing hard to get i think!!
we're both 20, on a night out I bumped into this random girl we kissed in the nightclub and spent the rest of the night chatting, even going back to

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Dating younger guy 24 years difference
I am 50 yrs old dating a 26 yrs old guy. We been dating each other for a couple months things are great between us. He told me he will always be
Boyfriend gets very angry if I mention his ex, is this normal?
Hi everyone! My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 5months. He broke up with his ex and a year and a half ago. 7 months after they
Should I let my boyfriend stay overnight with his friends?
Hi there. Firstly thank you for reading this post. I am a new member to this forum, and also will soon be new immigrant of the UK so basically there
Is this abuse?
Iím desperate for some advice. Iíve been with my partner for nearly 2 years and everything has been ok, except from when he drinks. I really do not
Is there hope for me?
Me and my girlfriend of two years had been talking about moving in together lately. We didn't actually go look at any place in person, but browsed a
Bringing up trust issues at the start of a new relationship? My situation...
Haven't been on these boards since my last break up a couple years ago, and here I am about to begin a new relationship with feelings from the last
Whats my next move - Dating a girl fresh out of a relationship
Hey guys, So heres the deal. Met a girl in class and I asked her out. Her answer was "maybe" because she didn't want to say no to me but just
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •