Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 19 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 189

Thread: Can I Safely Date Older Men?

  1. #1
    SkyBlue98
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    61
    Thanked
    7

    Can I Safely Date Older Men?

    If you're reading this, thank you so much and I'll try not to go on and on basically I'm an 18 year old girl and I'm very inexperienced at relationships. I've never had a boyfriend, and the farthest I've ever gone with a guy is having one awkwardly shove his tongue into my mouth at prom. So, basically nothing.

    For whatever reason I've always been attracted to older men. In my defense, I really like older women as well, in a friendly way- I probably feel more connected to them than girls my age. But I REALLY like older men, like men in their 40s and sometimes even older. I think they just seem so much more intelligent and they have so much to say. I just can't really feel very much for guys my age- some of them are sweet, but I just don't feel attraction.

    If I was in my 20s this wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm only 18. I'm on okcupid and I do sometimes get contacted by men in their 40s but then I'm not really impressed with those guys... They seem immature, if they're 40-something and hitting on an 18-year-old online.

    My fantasy is to meet someone older than me naturally, someone who I could start out having a friendship with, or who could almost be like a mentor to me. Someone who wouldn't meet me and be looking at me with the intention of eventually sleeping with me. But who knows how long that could take? I really have the urge to be with someone, but I want it to be someone I can like and respect, and vice versa.

    I was thinking of just finding guys on okcupid who seem nice and then messaging them, but I just wish I could meet someone in a more natural way... What are your thoughts? (Oh, and please don't tell me to just wait a few years. That may be the obvious answer, but that's also really difficult.)

    Thank you!

  2. Thanks yakuza noi noi thanked for this post
  3. #2
    melancholy123
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Location
    Ontario Canada
    Posts
    4,012
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    2638
    Any 40ish or older guy who expresses an interest in you, knowing you are 18, is looking to get laid. That's it, nothing more. Focus on young men in your own age group.

  4. Thanks lostandhurt, Wiseman2, Ms Darcy thanked for this post
  5. #3
    lostandhurt
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    53
    Posts
    7,149
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    2788
    Any guy on OLD that sees that you are interested in 40 something men will think you want a sugar daddy, a guy to take care of you, buy you things and of course have sex.

    It sounds like you want a father figure not a bf.

    You will not find what you are looking for online, make friends at work, hang out where the crowd is a little older than you and smile and talk to guys and I am sure you will get attention.

    Lost

  6. Thanks RainyCoast, melancholy123 thanked for this post
  7. #4
    agent
    Super Moderator agent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    England
    Age
    35
    Posts
    10,450
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    1848
    You're not going to make friends on okcupid any more than you are on other dating sites. The guys who contact you on there are doing so for the express purpose of dating/sleeping with an 18 year old.

    All you can do to fulfill the criteria you have is meet more old men. That said, most 40 yr old men who'd date an 18 year old are well... yeah, age is no indicator of intelligence.

    Sounds to me more like you want an older guy who'd make you feel safe but without actually moving on an attraction to you. That is not really possible. Don't start off your romantic life by trying to find a second Daddy.

  8. #5
    gebaird
    Platinum Member gebaird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    An island of peace in an ocean of chaos
    Posts
    1,854
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1961
    This probably isn't what you want to hear, but how's your relationship with your dad? You may be trying to compensate for some deficiency in that area.

    I know a lot of nice guys who are 40+, none of whom would date an 18-year-old.

  9. Thanks Almira23, Wiseman2, RainyCoast, melancholy123 thanked for this post
  10. #6
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,428
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16628
    There are a few of dating sites specifically for that:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]

  11. Thanks JaggerJim thanked for this post
  12. #7
    HeartGoesOn
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    15,832
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4118
    Be careful to avoid opening yourself up for being an easy target, where you can be seen as someone who can easily be taken advantage of. I think it's safe to say that the majority of men in their 40's who choose to get involved with an 18 y/o, are banking on your vulnerability.

    Be safe...

  13. #8
    JaggerJim
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,721
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1465
    I think you should try men 25-30 age range if your looking for older.

    It's not too much older. 40+ is too old and creepy.

  14. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  15. #9
    JaggerJim
    Platinum Member JaggerJim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1,721
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1465
    Quote Originally Posted by Wiseman2 [Register to see the link]
    There are a few of dating sites specifically for that:

    [Register to see the link]

    [Register to see the link]
    LooooooL!!!

  16. Thanks Wiseman2 thanked for this post
  17. #10
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,428
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16628
    Agree..that's a fantasy. Dating sites are not for mentoring or friends. They are for dating and sex and relationships. Try dating some collage aged guys. They may be more mature, intelligent and interesting to you than high school boys. Middle aged men are often married and have kids your age.
    Quote Originally Posted by SkyBlue98 [Register to see the link]
    My fantasy is to meet someone older than me naturally, someone who I could start out having a friendship with, or who could almost be like a mentor to me. Someone who wouldn't meet me and be looking at me with the intention of eventually sleeping with me.

  18.  

Page 1 of 19 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
How does this happen?
There is a woman in my life, a co-worker. We’re friends, but not that close. This woman is amazing. Beautiful, kind, artistic, intelligent. We grew
Have you ever ghosted someone and why?
Just curious what people's reasons are for ghosting.
Is he playing me?
I posted earlier about him. He works in the same building. He joined few weeks ago. Asked me a few times to go for a drink and I finally agreed. We
What's the most frustrating part of dating for you?
Hey guys, I'm curious what for you is the most frustrating part of dating or the part that you have the most problems with? Also from a girl's
Feeling A Bit Shallow Today. :(
Guys, you've been helping me a lot lately so here's one more, if you can. Last night I went to a single's event in my city, and got chatting with
Her wandering eye
I'm a 26 year old guy. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now. There have been ups and downs but it has been mostly good. One
How do we get through this?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost four years. He has been incredible and stepped up to the plate with my nine year old daughter. We also

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
My (ex?) girlfriend has anorexia and it probably destroyed our relationship - what to do?
Hello. I would like to tell my story. I am a 22 year-old male dating an 18 year-old female, though we have probably broken up today. This is
Question about how I should handle the finances in my marriage
I recently married my bf of 5 years and we are expecting a baby early next year. Since then I've found out some rather disturbing things about his
married now found out she cheated while we were dating Im so confused help
We have been married 2 years and dated a long time before we were married (16yrs) 5 years into our relationship my wife , then gf went on a cruise
Wanting To Be With Loved One In After-Life
Has anyone who has ever lost a loved one with whom they were extremely close and loved dearly ever thought about taking his/her own life so as to be
Does everyone have some positive qualities?
Since the day I had been dumped (got dumped in April and after all the failed efforts to reconcile, accepted his decision in mid July). I feel I am a
I it wrong to date my sister's ex boyfriend?
My sister was dating a guy for two month, and me and her bf start being friends until they broke up.....i have feelings for him and he also loves me
She left me because she thinks I'm dumb
I have been in relationship with this girl and moved to her country 3 months ago and lately things are going pretty bad and she is seeking for a
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •