(even though they are hypocrites) and do not allow drinking, cussing, doing any kind of drug, smoking,
Oh no! The horror of it all! I would absolutely not allow ANYONE to do drugs, bring drugs, or smoke in my home. We have no liquor either. its called "My house/my rules". So why not just mind them? These all seem like reasonable things to abide by if you want to have a roof over your head.
My parents have claimed they miss me and want me back, but when it boiled down to it, their answer was no.
If I was so bad to live with and my kid left the house, not because they have a job and found a place, but because they didn't like the rules, thought living with another relative was better and left in a huff, I would not be so eager to immediately take them back. I would say they dug their hole, they can lie in it a little bit.
I have good parents but my mother and i really butted heads when i was 17-22. We didn't get along. After i moved out and had established myself as an adult who didn't need my parents to pay for things, we got along AS ADULTS. From what I am reading - it sounds like you like to push things. Its never your fault. Everyone else is a hypocrite. if someone tells you to be absolutely ready at 11 and you are not, you talk back about it and have an answer for everything.
Everyone is having growing pains with you being a grownup now, so I think that you should get some work and start paying your own way. If you want to live with a relative, you are going to have to be respectful even if you think their ways are dumb or you need to find your own job and get your own place. The answer is not to point out how everyone else acts, but to only be in charge with the way you act and if everyone perceives you one way, maybe its time to take some inventory on that - be a little grateful they are housing you and providing room and board and now its your turn to start contributing respectfully and working towards making your own way on your own.