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Thread: My family is psychotic and I don't know what to do anymore

  1. #11
    RainyCoast
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    it is simply rude to not even bother with paragraphs when nicely asked. some ppl also have eye and neuro problems that make reading blocks of text difficult for them, though they would very much like to be helpful.

    in addition, the posters who have been turned off not merely by the unbroken text but also your replies were responders who give very good advice, especially on trauma and individuation-- both of which relate to your concern. when asking for help, simply being respectful goes a long way.

    i too haven't gotten far with reading, but what is clear is there is no way you can count on having a semi-decent life with any of your family. they are beyond abusive. i don't recommend waiting on your boyfriend's family finances to improve so that they can take you in. try getting help living self-sufficiently rather than help living dependently on someone yet again.

    i recommend going to your local social sevices. a social worker in direct services helps you with practical arrangements you need to get housing and live on your own, and one in clinical social work will offer counseling, any guidance required in addressing the circumstance that cause you distress, and can handle reports againts your family-- which you should file. i am not generally in favor of purely vindictive moves, but your family's behavior has me doubting they're not going to harm more people at some point.

    of course the social services offer significantly less help if your financial situation allows you to live on your own (you can still use clinical social services though).

    if your business isn't lucrative enough to allow you to support yourself, looking for a different job and relying on public transit would be a necessity.

  2. #12
    qwaspolk82
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAndromeda [Register to see the link]
    It's pretty clearly written. I didn't want to make it any longer than it had to be by insterting paragraph breaks. If you seriously can't read it just because there aren't paragraph breaks, then don't even bother commenting.
    Well someone broke it up into paragraphs.

    It was very, very long and hard to read. It was jumbled and not clearly written. I had to read it a few times. If you can't see that then I'm not sure what to say. I actually skimmed the last 1/4 of it. Also you can't really tell people not to comment. It's a public forum.

  3. #13
    qwaspolk82
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAndromeda [Register to see the link]
    If you're honestly more concerned with paragraph breaks than giving advice, don't comment. And if you only read part of it, don't comment either. It's clearly written and all the spelling is correct. Paragraph breaks do add length, considering you have to click the return/enter button to do so. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read a clearly written entry. This is a forum, not a novel.
    If you don't like the replies you're getting then don't reply back.

    Paragraph breaks do NOT add length on THIS forum. On a word document it might push it to another page. On here no it doesn't as you can clearly see it's been broken up and it did not add length.

    Well you wrote a novel...and if you are going to be so combative you won't get any advice. I am beginning to doubt your story in all reality if you're THIS combative about someone politely suggesting you break up your story.

  4. #14
    dias
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    I guess the only solution, as already been said, is to move to a big city and find a job there. Easier said than done, but it seems the only choice you have.

  5. #15
    MissAndromeda
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    Quote Originally Posted by RainyCoast [Register to see the link]
    it is simply rude to not even bother with paragraphs when nicely asked. some ppl also have eye and neuro problems that make reading blocks of text difficult for them, though they would very much like to be helpful.

    in addition, the posters who have been turned off not merely by the unbroken text but also your replies were responders who give very good advice, especially on trauma and individuation. when asking for help, simply being respectful goes a long way.

    i too haven't gotten far with reading, but what is clear is there is no way you can count on having a semi-decent life with any of your family. they are beyond abusive. i don't recommend waiting on your boyfriend family's finances to improve so that they can take you in. try getting help living self-sufficiently rather than help living dependently on someone yet again.

    i recommend going to your local social sevices. a social worker in direct services helps you with practical arrangements you need to get housing and live on your own, and one in clinical social work will offer counseling, any guidance required in addressing the circumstance that causes you distress, and can handle reports againts your family-- which you should file. i am not generally in favor of purely vindictive moves, but your family's behavior has me doubting they're not going to harm more people at some point.

    of course the social services offer significantly less help if your financial situation allows you to live on your own (you can still use clinical social services though).

    if your business isn't lucrative enough to allow you to support yourself, looking for a different job and relying on public transit would be a necessity.
    I haven't been rude to anyone. I simply said that if you're more concerned with the lack of paragraph breaks, then don't comment. It's discouraging to put something out there, trying to get some suggestions on what I should do about my situation, and the majority are more concerned with paragraphs. I didn't say I wasn't going to fix it, but it takes a minute to do so, as it is pretty long already.

    I hadn't thought of going to social services yet, so thank you for the suggestion. I will definitely look into it and see if anything like that is available around here. Public transportation isn't really an option, as we don't have anything like that here. It's an extremely small town, so there isn't a whole lot to work with.

    As far as money goes, after I pay my bills that I have to pay, I barely have anything left. So I'm definitely not making as much as I would like to. I'm trying to get another job as soon as I possibly can to try and fix that.

  6. #16
    qwaspolk82
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAndromeda [Register to see the link]
    I haven't been rude to anyone. I simply said that if you're more concerned with the lack of paragraph breaks, then don't comment. It's discouraging to put something out there, trying to get some suggestions on what I should do about my situation, and the majority are more concerned with paragraphs. I didn't say I wasn't going to fix it, but it takes a minute to do so, as it is pretty long already.

    I hadn't thought of going to social services yet, so thank you for the suggestion. I will definitely look into it and see if anything like that is available around here. Public transportation isn't really an option, as we don't have anything like that here. It's an extremely small town, so there isn't a whole lot to work with.

    As far as money goes, after I pay my bills that I have to pay, I barely have anything left. So I'm definitely not making as much as I would like to. I'm trying to get another job as soon as I possibly can to try and fix that.
    You have been extremely rude to people who suggested you break up your paragraphs - which was done anyway.

    You got suggestions but you're obviously ignoring them.

  7. #17
    mustlovedogs
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAndromeda [Register to see the link]
    I didn't say I wasn't going to fix it, but it takes a minute to do so, as it is pretty long already.
    Just throwing this out there - if you don't want to spend the time improving your post due to its length, why would people want to read?

    It's a useful exercise to translate your thoughts into other people's thoughts as well. If you find it long, the readers will, too. If it's long, how can you improve readership and response rate?

    This advice isn't just for ENA, but in life - if you're asking for help or advice, what small things can you do to make it easier for others to help you?

  8. #18
    RainyCoast
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    they may at least be able to provide housing, perhaps even in a different town so you can look for a job there. you'll need your bank statements, and save any and all receipts so that it's evident your expenses exceed your earnings.

    i read the rest of it and the only thing i'd like to add is there is no "reasoning" with abusive people. you will never be "right" with them.

    maybe also look up a safe house, but they can be low on capacities, especially this time of year.

    can you set up a camera to record some of it? you never know when that may come in handy.

    quaspolk, the original post shows up edited on your end? it doesn't on mine, it's still a block.

  9. #19
    Wiseman2
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    Unless you are making money and paying for your upkeep, it's not a "real job". You do need counselling if you endured all the abuse you claim your family inflicted.

    So go to social services and they will help you with food stamps, job searches, medicaid and getting housing and many other resources. You can't bounce around crashing at relatives, friends, bfs or whatever. You need a place to live and a job, not couch-surfing and no income.
    Quote Originally Posted by MissAndromeda [Register to see the link]
    I currently have a job running my own marketing business and work with other businesses which, according to my parents and my aunt, isn't a "real job." I am nearly 21 years old.I told her that I didn't need counseling and she replied with, "Yes, you do. You have mental issues." I have been forced to go to counselor after counselor all of my life by my parents, and now my aunt is trying to do the same thing.

  10. #20
    j.man
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    She edited into paragraphs and then consciously edited back into a single block. Pretty funny.

    Granted, each paragraph was big enough to be its own short story and it looked like she more or less played pin the tail on the donkey to see where to put in some white space, but even the baby effort was appreciated.

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