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Thread: just feeling like im not ment for this

  1. #11
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    I should also add - I've never been a stay at home mom. While I've exclusively breastfed both kids, and take care of them when I get home from work, or work from home when their sick (I switch at times with hubby on who stays home), I find the people who avoid going insane are those who ask for help or get help with the kids. Not sure how newborn the newborn is, but if you are able to join meetup, and find some mom groups to set up play dates for the 1st born, you will be able to get some sanity back. Staying cooped up in the house is not your friend. If you do have any relatives that want to visit, and they ask what they can do to help, ask them to vaccuum, do dishes, bring food, anything to get through the first few months. Even if you don't want to burden them, anything who loves you or has kids, totally gets it - and totally will not mind.

  2. #12
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    i have family that would love to come help but are just not in a position to, i feel like i should be better than this, and i was until i got pregnant with my second and it's probly due to the fact that i couldn't play with my first baby because i was sick and uncomfortable most of my pregnancy that he just started behaving badly, or maybe it was just me because i wasn't feeling well.

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    Originally Posted by lonleygal1989
    the first part of your comment is not needed DaNgeR, i never said anything about kids being a walk in the park and, you can keep your sympathy because thats not what im asking for and god forbid im not a perfect parent like you, god forbid ppl are different and handle things differently, im sorry i dont have a natural talent for parenting like you do, and im sorry for trying to figure it out how to be better for me and my kids, but really thanks for all the rest of it, because i just may need some time out on my own as i always have my kids in tow, and for the cuddle time i admit there can be a bit more but i dont deny him, i let him help with baby brother as much as he wants and try to show him how to be gentle with baby brother, dad is around and is great help when hes home from work, but has admitted he rather go to work than deal with the kids like i have to everyday, yes he wakes cranky but after feeding changing and letting him bath like he ask for and put his shows on and sing and dance to them with him and he's still just crying crying what can i do, i cant possibly just see to him all day theres a whole house and another baby to care for
    The thing is letting him help with baby brother is not allowing him time WITH YOU see what we mean? Letting him help with baby brother is serving you in a way. Not that he shouldn't bond with his brother, of course he should. He needs to go to the park with just you and play with just you . Not with little brother tow. He needs some hours a week that are just dedicated to him . Like I said get friends and family members ,a babysitter anything so that you can spend a few hours with just your first baby . He is still a baby after all . And because he has a new sibling he wants to be sure that you love him the same as before . It is very earth shattering to receive a new sibling when you're the first . As the first you are the one and only and there's nobody to compete with you . All of a sudden there's a sibling and that is competition which is very earth shattering . Any child who comes after that has always had a sibling so it makes really no difference to them .

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    Originally Posted by lonleygal1989
    i have family that would love to come help but are just not in a position to, i feel like i should be better than this, and i was until i got pregnant with my second and it's probly due to the fact that i couldn't play with my first baby because i was sick and uncomfortable most of my pregnancy that he just started behaving badly, or maybe it was just me because i wasn't feeling well.
    Well ,yeah he started to act up because he's not sure if he's loved or not . Kids that young only understand being loved by actions. So when your new baby goes down for a sleep just play with your son . Spend some time interacting with him .

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    i would love to go to the park but the weather is up and down here and im scared for them to get sick which is the last thing i need

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    Then create time in the house. An 18-month-old NEEDS some interaction to understand that they are loved and cared about . I understand it's hard being a new mom again but you are just going to have to make this time .

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    thanks for the responses i guess i have to figure out how to get more time in with my oldest to see if it will help

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    Originally Posted by lonleygal1989
    thanks for the responses i guess i have to figure out how to get more time in with my oldest to see if it will help
    Absolutely it will help he wants to know mommy still loves him .

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    He has no way to verbally tell you or even conceive of telling you mommy I'm sad you don't spend enough time with me acting out is his way of telling you that .

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by lonleygal1989
    i have family that would love to come help but are just not in a position to, i feel like i should be better than this, and i was until i got pregnant with my second and it's probly due to the fact that i couldn't play with my first baby because i was sick and uncomfortable most of my pregnancy that he just started behaving badly, or maybe it was just me because i wasn't feeling well.
    Do you have any friends, or any family on the dad's side of the family? Or Facebook friends to do a meal train?

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