Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Feeling depression setting in and just moved country

  1. #1
    Portland94
    Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    60
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    8

    Feeling depression setting in and just moved country

    Hi everybody, I just moved to NYC 2 weeks ago, just graduated and will be living here for a year. I developed a wave about yesterday afternoon.

    I haven't had a serious depressive/anxiety episode for about 6 years, but I constantly have a grey mind that never leaves me, but it's manageable with on and off medication. One of my biggest anxieties is not having a girlfriend, I've never had one, which i know at 23 is not normal. This hit me in my teens. I always play it down by saying "they're all the same, I'm better off on my own" but the truth is I just want to be with someone.

    I was working at this bar and in walks this girl with her friends, long story short I ended up kissing her on New Years, which is nothing surprising by the way, but afterwards I was stuck for words, repeating myself or being a little awkward. I gave her my number and I guess I'm just really disappointed that she didn't answer back, I liked her and I thought she was stunning. Now, I know that this happens all the time for people, but something as easy as this really gets to me and can bring on a blue spell. I'm trying to think back to my previous disastrous encounters, learn from my mistakes so I if she doesn't answer that text, well then I guess that's life.

    I have been with a number of women but never long term, they have only been some bizarre and twisted affairs that only last for a matter of weeks before they tire of me. I feel in order to find out what's wrong and give the entire picture, I need to be honest. I'm a good looking guy, not in amazing shape but decent, funny and I'm talented at my designs. I did very mediocre in college results but determined to make my parents proud. I want to set up my own company and know that I can become successful but still feel like a shell.

    I'll walk into a club and see a lot of people look at me. But when I talk to anyone I can see the interest or curiosity diminish. I find it hard to connect with someone and them with me. I was more or less bullied unintentionally by my dad relating to this stuff when I was little and find it very difficult to open up. I just want to meet a nice girl and not spend another year on my own. I'm not a fan of self pity, it's a waste of time I'm just laying everything on the table.

    Does anybody know what I may be doing wrong? How might I find a nice girl, me and my roommates go to bars but I find it very difficult to hear people, I believe I'm partially deaf and make the situation awkward.

    If anybody could help me with this I would live to hear from people. Thanks guys, it means a lot.

  2. #2
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,427
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16618
    Picking up women in bars and clubs isn't going to yield much but what you described. "have been with a number of women but never long term, they have only been some bizarre and twisted affairs that only last for a matter of weeks before they tire of me".


    Why not get on some dating apps and try meeting local women that way? Message the ones you like ad ask them for a coffee meet. Go slowly and if you see red flags move on. Unless of course you just want more "bizarre and twisted" hookups.

  3. Thanks LaHermes thanked for this post
  4. #3
    KantSleep
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    362
    Thanked
    164
    I wish I had an answer about the girlfriend issue. Maybe you could try to find a therapist who can help you work on your social skills? You seemed to indicate that once you start talking, the interest is diminished. You need to try to figure out why this is happening. A therapist who is a neutral party might be able to help you.

Top Threads
I have trichotillomania
trichotillomania is a hair pulling behavioral disorder. I pull out all of my eyelashes. I was fine for a while but then I started pulling again. I
please help, so embarrased
So this past weekend I went to a day party where I really hit it off with this guy. We were together all day all over eachother and having a good
Really? What do you guys say?
Today, I stumbled upon reading an article about the Law Of Attraction . I sort of believed it but logically naah!! I have always believed on doing
Going To A Therapist For Time In My Life
I have not been active here for a while. Anyway, I am biting the bullet and doing something my brother recommended over 10 years ago: GO SEE MY
Really? What do you guys say?
Today, I stumbled upon reading an article about the [B]Law Of Attraction [/B]. I sort of believed it but logically naah!! I have always believed on

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Where do you draw the line? GF's and guy friends
[SIZE=3][FONT=Helvetica]Hey guys, need some quick help on this one. Please help [/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica] [/FONT] [FONT=Helvetica]Yesterday my GF says
OMG he has a wedding date.
All, A couple of years ago, I dated a guy. There were things that were amazing but also horrible. A little over a year ago, we reconnected. He
HELPPP!!! Boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue
hi. REALLY REALLY NEED SOME ADVICE AND HELP. my boyfriend recently broke up with me out of the blue and we were dating for 2.5 years. everything was
Why does this bother me so much?
Hey guys. So gf of 7 years has left me for another guy again long story short and some of you know the long. So I did the unhealthy habit of looking
My girlfriend of 3 years just told me she is polyamorous
I have no idea how to feel about it. She assured me she didn't want to force it on me and could live monogamously with me but the thought of
Dealing with inconsiderate, selfish people from dawn till dusk.
Not sure if this is posted in the right place, but here it is. Lately my life seems to be about dealing with people who are inconsiderate. From
Toxic relationship // venting
Sometimes writing everything out helps me get a better understanding of certain situations. I'm sorry for the long post, I do want some advice, but
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •