Would you stay with your partner... If they came out as bisexual?

Would you still stay with them in a serious relationship?

Just wondering what people think after reading some questions on here.

So long as they're monogamous, it'd be irrelevant to me.

I wouldn't mind if the person was serious about you and feels like depsite being bi, they can have a monogamous relationship. Just depends on how strong the relationship is. However, if the person is young and hasn't experienced much life or their sexuality they I would want to take a break and explore.

Well I would be wondering why she has just told you now ! I would be suspicious that she is building up to her getting your approval to be with women.

When I was in college I was kinda freaked out when a dude I was interested in told me he was bi. It brought up a lot of personal insecurity. What if he was really gay and wasn't attracted to me? What if he liked men better than me? (and I'm pretty sure somewhere down deep I still thought being a gay male was icky) I dumped the guy.

Later when I was more experienced in relationships and dating, I found bi men to be delightful. Actually my first boyfriend ever was bi I didn't find out about that until years later.

All of the women I have dated are bisexual. Or pansexual. It's funny even though I have had long term relationships with both men and women I don't think of myself as bisexual. There is a surprising amount of stigma around bisexuality. Somehow bisexual has come to mean sl*tty or undecided. But at least bisexual people have put some thought into their sexuality.

At this point I think of being bi as a bonus (I'm non-monogamous).

If monogamous to me its a turn on

What j.man said. What their sexual preferences are isn't important, them staying loyal and monogamous while we're together is. And if they can't do that or they want to find out about the other side, so to speak then they need to end things with me properly first. After that they would be free to pursue whoever they like.

I'm hardcore monogamous, so that's the big thing they need to bring to the table. And fortunately my husband does and is as well.

Yes, just as long as they stay loyal to me.

Would you still stay with them in a serious relationship?

I'm married and bisexual. I have yet to disclose my true sexual preference to my husband out of fear of stigma. Never cheated during the 12 years of our relationship and do not want to make him think I would consider it.

If monogamous to me its a turn on

Out of curiosity, why is bisexuality turn on if the person wants a monogamous relationship only? People I know who are into bisexual people automatically label us as someone who's a swinger or wants to have an orgy.

If they told me after we had already started a relationship, no, I wouldn't stay with them. I would wonder what else they haven't told me.

I'm married and bisexual. I have yet to disclose my true sexual preference to my husband out of fear of stigma. Never cheated during the 12 years of our relationship and do not want to make him think I would consider it.

 

 

Out of curiosity, why is bisexuality turn on if the person wants a monogamous relationship only? People I know who are into bisexual people automatically label us as someone who's a swinger or wants to have an orgy.

Because if the person tells you after you're in an exclusive relationship and has just discovered it there's more of a concern that the person will want to try a same sex intimate relationship.

It's harder to come out being bisexual than it is if one is homosexual. The stigma that follows bisexuality is being susceptible to cheating, or a "willing" participant in orgies. Like rosephrase mentioned, her first impression was insecurity- "well if you can be turned on by ANYONE, than you will no longer be attracted to me?" This reaction is very common by the general population.

I am afraid that if I tell my husband about my sexual preference, he will suggest an open marriage or divorce because he can't really trust me- none of which I want. It's why I haven't opened up to him about it at all.

Because if the person tells you after you're in an exclusive relationship and has just discovered it there's more of a concern that the person will want to try a same sex intimate relationship.

???

This doesn't answer my question. Maybe I didn't phrase it well, so let me try again:

why is bisexuality a turn on if the person (who is bisexual) wants a monogamous relationship only?

It's harder to come out being bisexual than it is if one is homosexual. The stigma that follows bisexuality is being susceptible to cheating, or a "willing" participant in orgies. Like rosephrase mentioned, her first impression was insecurity- "well if you can be turned on by ANYONE, than you will no longer be attracted to me?" This reaction is very common by the general population.

 

I am afraid that if I tell my husband about my sexual preference, he will suggest an open marriage or divorce because he can't really trust me- none of which I want. It's why I haven't opened up to him about it at all.

I haven't found that in my experience and I don't think that way about people who are bisexual. I do think you should have told your husband before you got married because it's kind of a big deal but I understand that you plan to be monogamous and not experiment so on a practical level it wouldn't matter as much.

I could be considered bisexual given my experiences and preferences but I consider myself "straight" because I no longer experiment and I won't do that anymore. I told my boyfriend much later in my relationship but he didn't really care - because it's irrelevant. I haven't told some of my previous boyfriends because as I said, irrelevant. For all intents and purposes, I'm straight.

My wife is definitely bi-curious and admits to kissing a lesbian girlfriend once to see what it was like (while we were married). She said she didn't feel anything and doesn't consider herself bisexual but honestly I'm not really buying it. I think she's scared to admit it as we were both brought up in extremely religious conservative households.

I think if you you're gonna cheat you're gonna cheat no matter what your sexual preference is. But i think what really makes people insecure is is seems to open the potential cheating pool wider, making any chummy person a potential threat. Oh, do I have to worry about the girl friend she regularly takes long walks with, who I would DEFINITELY be concerned about if she was a man? It is more about me than her I'm sure, but it is a bit annoying to have to deal with.

It's like being upset your spouse finds a bald man attractive when you have a full head of hair. "What? Surely that should give me a lock over bald guys!" Kind of silly.

My wife is definitely bi-curious and admits to kissing a lesbian girlfriend once to see what it was like (while we were married). She said she didn't feel anything and doesn't consider herself bisexual but honestly I'm not really buying it. I think she's scared to admit it as we were both brought up in extremely religious conservative households.

 

I think if you you're gonna cheat you're gonna cheat no matter what your sexual preference is. But i think what really makes people insecure is is seems to open the potential cheating pool wider, making any chummy person a potential threat. Oh, do I have to worry about the girl friend she regularly takes long walks with, who I would DEFINITELY be concerned about if she was a man? It is more about me than her I'm sure, but it is a bit annoying to have to deal with.

 

It's like being upset your spouse finds a bald man attractive when you have a full head of hair. "What? Surely that should give me a lock over bald guys!" Kind of silly.

I think the issue is why the person is sharing the information after marriage/exclusivity. If it's just to be open about a desire you're not going to act on, fine - but I would think a big reason to share it is either to be intimate with someone of the same sex or because it's a recent discovery and the person feels it might impact the relationship.

Nope. If he's already partnered with me, then I wouldn't understand the purpose of telling me this now. That's the kind of stuff that should be on the table up front.

It would be a dealbreaker for me. If I was dating them, I would not go much further with them if they felt strongly enough about men that it was important for them to identify as bisexual/proclaim it to others and to "come out" and give a voice to it. If I was dating someone who did come out to me, the relationship would be offer for me.

I don't really think being bisexual is relevant when you've chosen to be with one person specifically and are monogamous and loyal.

My friend's fiancée is bisexual, when they first started dating, she had just broken up with her ex gf, he was a bit weirded out at first, but soon decided it's not a big deal, and really, she's no different to anyone else I know, just another regular woman, and she has lots of female friends. Just because she's open to dating women, doesn't mean she's any different or that she's less loyal, you know?

Depending on the context in which the topic was brought up, but if it came up part way through a relationship instead of in the beginning, I would clarify why they felt the need to mention it now. If it came out in causal conversation, I wouldn't consider breaking up (though might need some time to process this new information), but if it was brought up very deliberately, I would definitely question why now.

Loaded question. My boyfriend didn't tell me he liked sex with men both orally and anally until we were in a 3 year relationship. THEN, he didn't tell me, I found him on a Bisexual site trolling for any type of man for oral, anal ... long term preferably. When confronted he finally admitted that he has always liked sex with men. However, his choice for love and emotions is with women. He has been married 3 times, has children -- however, can't stop craving penis. Since HIV,AIDS are transmitted to women by homo/bi boyfriends/husbands I became concerned. Even if he promised me the stars/moon he would act on impulses and not use protection. I agreed we could still date, have fun, do things together but that our SEX would be limited to protected (trojans) and that I could not kiss his mouth or have oral sex with him. This is the price he has to pay for not being truthful in the beginning. Life is about choices... he can't have the whole enchilada.