Fwb help

Okay so I have this fwb and he is ing amazing like honest to God everything about him is perfect.

What my problem is, is that we are strictly fwb nothing more but I am having feelings for him that I can't stop let alone let it go..... he tells me about the girls he talks to on dating websites and I try to be the good friend I am but I having problems.... when this started I was just the fwb " the cool chick" but now I'm secretly hoping that none of these girls work out.... I seriously don't know what to do anymore i don't want to to pretend I don't have feeling for him but I also don't want to wreck the "simple" thing that we have of just ing (which is amazing) please give some advice he is 16 years older than me but that does not bother him or I and my grandparents were 16 years apart

Why dont you tell him how you feel?

Why dont you tell him how you feel?

I would I just don't want it to affect what we are doing

Affect what you are doing? You mean you don't want to trade no strings sex for a relationship?

You are not being "cool" when you are not true to yourself and let guys use you like a mattress, when you "secretly have feelings". Why would you even want a relationship with someone who has zero respect for you? would I just don't want it to affect what we are doing

you should tell him....if not you will just end up being a side chick or something like that because you have feelings for him and he is just using you for sex. If you want more...you need to tell him. Your feeling wont go away and at this rate you are only going to get hurt. Are YOU talking to other people or dating? because is that really fair that he gets to have his cake and eat it too? While you are on the side lines hoping one day he will wake up and feel the same? He probably wont, at least not if you never say anything.

The simple thing is already wrecked. And that is ok.

You have options; can stay quiet and endure the bouts of sadness and longing that come with mismatched levels of interest (I am there right now, minus the sex)

you can split

you can take a gamble and tell him how you feel first (knowing full well if he doesn't feel the same it'll be the end of simple for now).

A thought to take away, sex is like a super short cut to "love" feelings. So, if you keep having the sex part, your feelings of affection will undoubtedly continue to grow, but they aren't necessarily founded on anything concrete, just dopamine and hormones.

Tell him. In life sometimes you have to risk it all to get what you want.

Seriously though, he is 16 yrs older than you, do you really think he would just walk away from sex with you because he told him you are developing feelings for him?

Besides you can always find another FWB anytime you want. Trust me there are millions of guys that would love to be where he is right now.

Lost

First off all of this was my idea, I am totally okay with just having sex I just don't know if I should tell him about my feelings or not.

Yeah maybe I would like a relationship too but what we are doing works for me as well. No I'm not talking to anyone else but there's no reason why I can't I just choose not to. It's not that I don't respect myself cause I do, I want sex but i don't want to have sex with different guys all the time so I found a fwb (one I didn't think I'd get feelings for)

...............

Why would he want a relationship when he get sex no questions asked? He's even on dating sites looking for more sex.

He may be 16 years older, but you come across as naive.

[...] and my grandparents were 16 years apart

Do you know why your grandparents were together even though they were 16 years apart? It might not have been a thought-out decision, like if there was an unplanned pregnancy involved. Just food for thought, point being that the actions of others may not pertain to your specific circumstances.

No there was no unplanned pregnancy, they got together because they loved each other. I was told her parents weren't thrilled about it at first but then they came around and they stayed together until my grandpa died, then grandma followed 2 years later

Sounds like your feelings for him are just a byproduct of having sex rather than anything of substance. You chose him because you didn't think you'd get feelings for him. The fact that you failed doesn't mean that he is all of a sudden relationship material. You sound immature. You don't really know what you want and you seem to be more concerned over losing face (the 'cool chick' image) than feelings. You need to decide what you really want. Then act accordingly. As for your grandparents story, that's how it played out for them. That was no fwb situation. You are not your grandparents.