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So how screwed am I at this point?


greta96

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I've been at my job 4+ years, and (as far as I know) my co-workers like me both professionally and as a person. I work well and fast, no mistakes, get along with everybody, etc. However, I'm not the most social person ever, I only socialize when I have to, I have never involved myself in party planning or the likes - I basically go to work, do my job, am pleasant to everyone I interact with and go home.

 

Well, a few months ago they hired another woman to work side by side with me. Naturally, being new she has been going above and beyond to endear herself to everyone. I trained her and she took detailed notes, so now she can do the job almost as well as I can (it's really not difficult). But since the day she started she came up with lots of ideas, planned a party, offered her help in various departments (as one does when they want to impress), and most recently gave Xmas presents to a few of us - a tradition we haven't had before. Everyone seems to be head over heels over her, she is a very good kiss-a$$ even though intelligence-wise she's not all that. But hey, based on previous experience, in today's superficial society, a$$ kissing seems to be more valued than skill and intelligence.

 

Plus, from day one she confessed that she hates women with a certain hair color and body type - which coincidentally happen to be mine. That felt good (not!).

 

Now I worry that even though professionally I am good, she will end up stealing my job because of her strategy. Truth be told, there is no need for 2 people to do this job, one would handle it without a problem. I never kiss a$$, I have always depended on my skills and never felt the need to kiss up to anyone. I have been previously fired from a job where I was highly appreciated by everybody only because some boss' relative needed a job, so I am aware in business nothing is fair, and good job skills don't guarantee anything.

 

So, do you guys think I should worry? Start looking for a new job in the new year? What would you do?

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Worried for your position? Honestly, maybe. Worried about having a job? I'm not so sure. You've been there 4+ years and have a good reputation and work ethic. If she were to make your job redundant, I'm thinking they'd have use for you elsewhere. Companies value loyalty and competency.

 

Personally, I'm not a big ass kisser, but I do game my own way. I'll figure out a boss' humor and definitely play to it. So I can't really fault the folks who utilize their charisma. Worrying won't help you much, but it's good that you're seeing the need for a competitive edge. It may be worth it to sit down with your supervisor and express interest in professionally developing within the company and seeing about any skills that are in demand, new interfaces being introduced, etc. Is there opportunity for upward mobility with his company? Or is it very small / family owned?

 

And do some honest reflection. I don't know your field, and even if I did, you'd know better than me. What's in development that you can get a head start on? How's the industry changing? What's something you know you could improve on, even if you are good at it? You work well and fest, which is great. Looking back, when's the last time you feel you noticeably improved, though?

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You have seniority - why would they fire you?

 

But remember, copy cats get ahead. Meaning if your boss comes early, you come early. If they dress a certain way, you do as well.

 

And taking a personal interest in others (especially your boss) is not a$$-kissing as well. It makes you human. All you have to do is share something small about yourself, and let others share more about themselves. It's rapport. People see this as a reflection of how you would do if you grow into a management position, or work with customers. It's a game, and you need to put yourself out there. There is a reason why networking is effective for career growth and development.

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I think there's something to be said for being well liked at a job. My favorite jobs have been the ones where I really got along with my coworkers, and I don't think it's a coincidence that those teams also felt the most functional.

 

It may be worthwhile to try and work on being more social at work. I understand it's your nature, but trying to foster your social side just a bit more will help your career in a lot of ways: well liked people subconsciously get preferential treatment, you'll gain more visibility for promotions, etc.

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Worried for your position? Honestly, maybe. Worried about having a job? I'm not so sure. You've been there 4+ years and have a good reputation and work ethic. If she were to make your job redundant, I'm thinking they'd have use for you elsewhere. Companies value loyalty and competency.

 

Personally, I'm not a big ass kisser, but I do game my own way. I'll figure out a boss' humor and definitely play to it. So I can't really fault the folks who utilize their charisma. Worrying won't help you much, but it's good that you're seeing the need for a competitive edge. It may be worth it to sit down with your supervisor and express interest in professionally developing within the company and seeing about any skills that are in demand, new interfaces being introduced, etc. Is there opportunity for upward mobility with his company? Or is it very small / family owned?

 

And do some honest reflection. I don't know your field, and even if I did, you'd know better than me. What's in development that you can get a head start on? How's the industry changing? What's something you know you could improve on, even if you are good at it? You work well and fest, which is great. Looking back, when's the last time you feel you noticeably improved, though?

 

It's a small family operated business, with no room for growth. I can't really say I've improved anything lately, here once you master the ins and outs of the job you're pretty much done, so there really isn't anything else I could learn. I love the job because there is not too much drama, everyone is pretty nice and it is also close to home, the pay is decent...all in all, not the type of job I would want to leave (or get dismissed from).

 

I guess it's just my previous experience with this type of people, and how they've always managed to push me aside over the years, despite me having done a good job always. For example, years ago I managed a large territory all by myself for 2 years, I had made connections, etc. On the 3rd year they hired me this woman to help, and she started sleeping with most of my clients and stealing them from me (we were in sales), and she basically ruined all the relationships I had built all on my own through honest work...until I quit because I didn't want to deal with it anymore. And there have been more similar occurrences, which is why I am now paranoid

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I think there's something to be said for being well liked at a job. My favorite jobs have been the ones where I really got along with my coworkers, and I don't think it's a coincidence that those teams also felt the most functional.

 

It may be worthwhile to try and work on being more social at work. I understand it's your nature, but trying to foster your social side just a bit more will help your career in a lot of ways: well liked people subconsciously get preferential treatment, you'll gain more visibility for promotions, etc.

 

Yes, it is becoming apparent that I should step up my interactions with people, especially my boss. I do chat now and then, when I'm in her area, but I think I should make it a point to do it daily and for longer. Thank you for the reminder!

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I'd actually strongly encourage you to check out what other opportunities are out there. Not because I feel like you're under real threat, but just with the nature of small, family businesses, these kinds of scares aren't exactly few or far between. And with there being a very low ceiling for professional development, as you said, there's only so much you can learn and improve on without having the opportunity to take on more responsibilities.

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Any ideas as to why they brought this woman on? Perhaps she's been crunching numbers late at night? (If you know what I mean.) And she "needed" a job, and this position foot the bill.

 

That being said, you could always ask your supervisor if you have anything to worry about. Or like j.man said start putting some feelers out there.

 

Good luck and kudos to you for being yourself.

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Any ideas as to why they brought this woman on? Perhaps she's been crunching numbers late at night? (If you know what I mean.) And she "needed" a job, and this position foot the bill.

 

That being said, you could always ask your supervisor if you have anything to worry about. Or like j.man said start putting some feelers out there.

 

Good luck and kudos to you for being yourself.

 

She was brought aboard because business got very busy right before I went on vacation this year and they were afraid my stand-in wasn't going to be able to do it all. Of course things went back to normal soon after I came back, and now there's barely enough work for all of us. Bad timing really...

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She was brought aboard because business got very busy right before I went on vacation this year and they were afraid my stand-in wasn't going to be able to do it all. Of course things went back to normal soon after I came back, and now there's barely enough work for all of us. Bad timing really...

 

Ah that makes sense. Well I hope it works out and you're not stressing too much.

 

Keep us posted.

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Now I am not replying to sugar coat anything for you, so I apologize in advance... But...as a woman. A woman who was once upon a year ago a District Manager of a small finance company. Our stories can relate. I hired many, only for a horrible boss to fire them once they didn't not necessarily perform but satisfy his ego so for two years I kept scouring for just the right kind of employee to train and successfully support this company I was essentially running for him...

I found her one day. She was not the most insightful in fact she was older than my boss enjoys in his buildings and struggled during her training period and shortly after, but she had a great spirit and attitude that a great trainer knows they cannot make for an employee they can only secure as a foundation.

She ended up being the one to get me fired and discredited from the owner of the company. Now my entire team didn't believe or trust her, that was always an issue without specifics, but I as a professional gave her the benefit of doubt and even when the owner randomly wanted to fire her for various reasons I put forth my best to fairly keep her and allow her to grow. She wasn't a top performer but a year later I had a significant issue with her. One day a loyal client (who knew me before management) called all the offices just to speak with me specifically, which was rare because the offices kept me as a secret to avoid angry clients to target me to harm me because ultimately I made the total decisions in their accounts. He informed that this employee was gossiping about me on the phone with supervisor in our headquarters office. That she was making wild claims about my performance or attitude. At the time of incident I figured it was totally out of her nature or character, but have found that A$$ kissing will not get your necessarily to places but secure you for sure.

I reported this incident to headquarters and was drafting a conference to investigate these claims that could even be harmful to the companies legitimacy when the owner said, "no, I will handle this". And two weeks later I was taken off as the financial control person of the company and fired. The past 6 months before all this she had become FB friends with the owner and just a fun person to stroke his ego and they would spend hours discussing blatant lies about decisions or events taking place (she had the tendency to do things without my approval and cause a headache later I would resolve with clients)

 

I don't want to feed your fears but I made my mistakes. I did go above and beyond EVERY DAY, and that is irrelevant to your issue. What is relevant is that often not because she is "new" but because she may appeal to your higher ups and stir trouble. She has already made a stance to blatantly inform she doesn't like you. If she is getting closer to your supervisor it won't be long. Find ways to highlight your seniority and experience in the office so you can at least say you tried. I wish more women would support each other in the workplace, especially where I live, however, there are multiple studies where men but especially women can deter from professional standards based off of personal biases.

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Now I am not replying to sugar coat anything for you, so I apologize in advance... But...as a woman. A woman who was once upon a year ago a District Manager of a small finance company. Our stories can relate. I hired many, only for a horrible boss to fire them once they didn't not necessarily perform but satisfy his ego so for two years I kept scouring for just the right kind of employee to train and successfully support this company I was essentially running for him...

I found her one day. She was not the most insightful in fact she was older than my boss enjoys in his buildings and struggled during her training period and shortly after, but she had a great spirit and attitude that a great trainer knows they cannot make for an employee they can only secure as a foundation.

She ended up being the one to get me fired and discredited from the owner of the company. Now my entire team didn't believe or trust her, that was always an issue without specifics, but I as a professional gave her the benefit of doubt and even when the owner randomly wanted to fire her for various reasons I put forth my best to fairly keep her and allow her to grow. She wasn't a top performer but a year later I had a significant issue with her. One day a loyal client (who knew me before management) called all the offices just to speak with me specifically, which was rare because the offices kept me as a secret to avoid angry clients to target me to harm me because ultimately I made the total decisions in their accounts. He informed that this employee was gossiping about me on the phone with supervisor in our headquarters office. That she was making wild claims about my performance or attitude. At the time of incident I figured it was totally out of her nature or character, but have found that A$$ kissing will not get your necessarily to places but secure you for sure.

I reported this incident to headquarters and was drafting a conference to investigate these claims that could even be harmful to the companies legitimacy when the owner said, "no, I will handle this". And two weeks later I was taken off as the financial control person of the company and fired. The past 6 months before all this she had become FB friends with the owner and just a fun person to stroke his ego and they would spend hours discussing blatant lies about decisions or events taking place (she had the tendency to do things without my approval and cause a headache later I would resolve with clients)

 

I don't want to feed your fears but I made my mistakes. I did go above and beyond EVERY DAY, and that is irrelevant to your issue. What is relevant is that often not because she is "new" but because she may appeal to your higher ups and stir trouble. She has already made a stance to blatantly inform she doesn't like you. If she is getting closer to your supervisor it won't be long. Find ways to highlight your seniority and experience in the office so you can at least say you tried. I wish more women would support each other in the workplace, especially where I live, however, there are multiple studies where men but especially women can deter from professional standards based off of personal biases.

 

Ugh what happened to you was awful! I couldn't agree more, I really wish people stopped being this competitive, why can't we all just do our best at work, do our own portion of the job well so we can earn our living and go home to live the rest of our lives, you know? Without agendas, a$$ kissing, back stabbing... We spend so much time working anyway...why not make it pleasant and peaceful?

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"And taking a personal interest in others (especially your boss) is not a$$-kissing as well. It makes you human. All you have to do is share something small about yourself, and let others share more about themselves. It's rapport. People see this as a reflection of how you would do if you grow into a management position, or work with customers. It's a game, and you need to put yourself out there. There is a reason why networking is effective for career growth and development."

 

I agree with this entirely. I wouldn't assume her intentions aren't genuine (obviously part of her intention is to be recognized at work which is totally normal). I've been at a new job for 3 months. I try to re-fill/add to the candy dish in the hallway, donated to every holiday-related fund (even though I just started and am part-time), and I am friendly although not chatty. I show up at every office sponsored event if I am in the office. I've had lunch with two people from different departments -one I met at an office seminar and struck up a conversation -now she's introduced me to several in her department at a recent lunch. You don't have to do that but please don't think of it in such negative terms. It's essential if you want to either get promoted within or get a new/better job. It's part of your work -not as important as the bottom line/productivity but way up there IMO.

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I agree with this entirely. I wouldn't assume her intentions aren't genuine (obviously part of her intention is to be recognized at work which is totally normal). I've been at a new job for 3 months. I try to re-fill/add to the candy dish in the hallway, donated to every holiday-related fund (even though I just started and am part-time), and I am friendly although not chatty. I show up at every office sponsored event if I am in the office. I've had lunch with two people from different departments -one I met at an office seminar and struck up a conversation -now she's introduced me to several in her department at a recent lunch. You don't have to do that but please don't think of it in such negative terms. It's essential if you want to either get promoted within or get a new/better job. It's part of your work -not as important as the bottom line/productivity but way up there IMO.

 

It definitely is important, and it's something I completely neglected once I got comfortable in the job. I will need to work on that... New Year's resolution

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It definitely is important, and it's something I completely neglected once I got comfortable in the job. I will need to work on that... New Year's resolution

 

Good for you, really! I know it takes effort and precious free time/energy. I do think it's worth it. Happy New Year.

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  • 2 weeks later...
I'd actually strongly encourage you to check out what other opportunities are out there. Not because I feel like you're under real threat, but just with the nature of small, family businesses, these kinds of scares aren't exactly few or far between. And with there being a very low ceiling for professional development, as you said, there's only so much you can learn and improve on without having the opportunity to take on more responsibilities.

Spot on. Not to mention I've vicariously seen cases where people move from family run businesses into the same role at another firm to find that the way they were trained at the family business was not up to industry standard (albeit I wouldn't describe this as a norm in family run businesses).

 

The only time I ever used an employment lawyer was with a major firm but my lawyer found that they dealt with him sensibly and did point out that his most challenging cases were always with small firms as they tend to try numerous things that aren't above board, while major firms don't want their reputation damaged. At least that's the simplistic way of looking at it - to illustrate my point, when a friend was being fired by a family run realty business I put her in touch with my lawyer who spent the guts of a week going back and forth explaining to her boss "no, legally you to do this or that if you want to fire her", whereas the redundancy issue with my former employer took 90 minutes to sort.

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