Daughters birthday party

I was married for 6 years to my ex-husband and we have 2 children together (Age 8 and almost 10) He was married before we were together and has an older daughter who is 12.

When my ex got back grom Iraq he had terrible PTSD and we got divorced when he wouldnt get help. After our divorce he gave up his parental rights to his oldest daughter. The judge didnt allow him to see our kids until he completed treatment for his PTSD (this took 2 years). He is doing well now and is back in our kids life for the past several months.

Not wanting our kids to lose their sibling(s) my ex husbands 1st wife and I became friends and kept the kids in close contact. However now that I have allowed him to be back in the kids life the first wife hasn't wanted to have any contact.

My daughters 10th birthday is coming up and she desperately wants everyone there...her dad, new step mom and her older sister. I asked the 1st wife and she said theres a "possibility" they will come to her party as long as the kids dad isnt there.

I don't know what to do. If it werent for his 1st wife and daughter I wouldnt think twice about having him and his wife there.

Do I invite my daughters dad and step mom or her sister? Do I leave this type of decision to my 10 year old or make it for her?? And what is the right decision?

It's a shame anyone needs to left out but seeing that the older daughters mom is the one with the issue, then the 12 yr old stays home.

The rest of you get along with out any conflict. Her mother will have to answer to her about why.

Plan a date with the 12 yr to honor your daughters birthday at a later date.

Does the father ever get the daughter for a weekend? Honestly, I find it disgusting the mother would play this kind of game. If she really had a problem with the dad being there, she's more than welcome to drop the daughter up and pick her up after. If I had the choice, I would rather do the party when he has the daughter.

Would it be possible to have a separate kiddie time party say at a venue with the step sister present then regroup at home with the adults and relatives so she can spend the morning/afternoon with kids and this step sister and the afternoon/evening with relatives?

I asked the 1st wife and she said theres a "possibility" they will come to her party as long as the kids dad isnt there. Do I invite my daughters dad and step mom or her sister?

I would invite her father . She can see her sibling later. The other mom can explain it to her own child. At this point in your child's life her father is far more important than her sibling.

No. He hasn't seen her in 2 years.when he was having mental health problems I just wanted him to get better and be in the kids lfe but the 1st wife kept fighting to have his parental rights taken away and after a year of fighting he gave in and signed away his rights. He was just worn down and strugging with his PTSD and regrets doing it now.

He is remarried now to a wonderful woman and I am proud of his revovery. I am happily in another relationship, but have always only wanted the best for our children including their parents even if we aren't together.

His 1st wife is not the same...it was always a competition and now that she has won that competition with him and I have let him back in my kids seem to be stuck in the middle choosing between their older sister and their dad.

Never never make your daughter choose to give up her dad. His first wife is causing her child unbelievable psychological problems but that will come about later . It is wonderful the recovery he has made for him so now let him see his kids . So many veterans die a death in killing themselves because of things that were not their fault . He has recovered. This is a MASSIVE blessing to his kids.

I'm still wondering if the dad gets unsupervised visitation whereby you could schedule the party on his day. Otherwise, I agree with him being the priority. I'm almost stunned you'd even consider presenting your young daughter with the choice.

I'm still wondering if the dad gets unsupervised visitation whereby you could schedule the party on his day. Otherwise, I agree with him being the priority. I'm almost stunned you'd even consider presenting your young daughter with the choice.

No he gave up his parental rights and all visitation for the 12 year old 2 years ago and has not seen her in those 2 years.

No he gave up his parental rights and all visitation for the 12 year old 2 years ago and has not seen her in those 2 years.

The mother and daughter will pay for that . The mother doesn't know what kind of psychological problems she's giving her child .

The mother and daughter will pay for that . The mother doesn't know what kind of psychological problems she's giving her child .

She alreafy is very damaged by it. Her mother told her that her dad decided he didnt want to be her dad anymore. She talks about it all the time...how he just decided not to be her dad. He did sign his rights over voluntarily but only after he fought for a year with her wanting them taken away.

She alreafy is very damaged by it. Her mother told her that her dad decided he didnt want to be her dad anymore. She talks about it all the time...how he just decided not to be her dad. He did sign his rights over voluntarily but only after he fought for a year with her wanting them taken away.

Well, she'll be thanking her mother( not so much) from the psychiatrist chair in about 10 years .

And when she seeks out her dad and gets his side of the story her mother won't fair so well .

People often forget that their kids become adults and then can speak to any person they please .

She alreafy is very damaged by it. Her mother told her that her dad decided he didnt want to be her dad anymore. She talks about it all the time...how he just decided not to be her dad.

That's really sad...she's not fit to be a parent really, to hurt her child like that.

No. He hasn't seen her in 2 years.when he was having mental health problems I just wanted him to get better and be in the kids lfe but the 1st wife kept fighting to have his parental rights taken away and after a year of fighting he gave in and signed away his rights. He was just worn down and strugging with his PTSD and regrets doing it now.

He is remarried now to a wonderful woman and I am proud of his revovery. I am happily in another relationship, but have always only wanted the best for our children including their parents even if we aren't together.

His 1st wife is not the same...it was always a competition and now that she has won that competition with him and I have let him back in my kids seem to be stuck in the middle choosing between their older sister and their dad.

Did his first wife get remarried? Usually a parent can't just "sign away" their rights unless someone else is going to adopt the child. Does his oldest daughter have a stepfather who adopted her? I've read a lot about this and judges don't just let people sign their rights over without someone else to adopt the child.

He's doing better. He's stable. He's a good influence. She shouldn't have an issue with it. It seems you'll just have to do something separate with that sibling.

Did his first wife get remarried? Usually a parent can't just "sign away" their rights unless someone else is going to adopt the child. Does his oldest daughter have a stepfather who adopted her? I've read a lot about this and judges don't just let people sign their rights over without someone else to adopt the child.

 

He's doing better. He's stable. He's a good influence. She shouldn't have an issue with it. It seems you'll just have to do something separate with that sibling.

No...his first wife isn't remarried or even in a relationship. I know judges don't normally let people sign away their rights...but she was fighting to have his rights taken away because at the time he was very unfit and they went to court for it (I was there as well)...the judge basically asked him his thoughts and he basically said "I give up...I'm done trying to be in her life" and the judge let him voluntarily sign away his rights.

Like I said. That child will grow up to hate her mom.

No...his first wife isn't remarried or even in a relationship. I know judges don't normally let people sign away their rights...but she was fighting to have his rights taken away because at the time he was very unfit and they went to court for it (I was there as well)...the judge basically asked him his thoughts and he basically said "I give up...I'm done trying to be in her life" and the judge let him voluntarily sign away his rights.

That's really weird.

Well I guess this was all kind of a moot point. I decided to see if first wife would rather just have dinner with us on my daughters actual bithday Dec. 26th instead of 2 weeks later when we do the party and she said she asked my kids sister and that because my kids are now in contact with their dad that their siater is having a hard time and she she doesnt think she can handle seeing them. So I guess no party and no dinner Seems they are losing their sister in getting their dad back.

The person causing this is the first wife. SHE is the culprit. I would roast her good for hurting my kids and her own. Your kids deserve their dad. When your kids are all adults " mommy dearest" ( wife 1) will control no one.