There is a relatively new person I work with and they have been making work a living hell sometimes. This person is fairly aggressive, very persistent at getting what they want, and likes to argue their point all the time. They have been fairly effective and efficient, which is a plus and helps out the whole team IMO. Things like that I can appreciate; their attitude however I don't at all. Ever since they've arrived they've been changing things left and right. According to a personality assessment from my work I'm the type of person who doesn't like sudden change, who likes team or group discussions, and likes supporting other people in getting things done. I also can be slow and be overly focused on details. I'm just wondering if I'm taking things too personally and overreacting. Here are some things that have left me wanting to punch the wall:
1.) Changing protocols and methods on the fly with very little or no discussion. The only reason it happens is because my other team members are super agreeable people and don't like fighting over decisions. Sometimes these changes make sense after I think them over, sometimes they were completely unnecessary but suited this coworker's style of working.
2.) Asking for information but not even giving me time to find it. Being very demanding with requests. They are not my boss yet I feel like they are bossing me around. We are supposed to be teammates and work together as as group, or so I thought.
3.) Complaining about how things are formatted but expecting me to just understand their formatting right away. Asking me to find random things when they should know where things are. Acting surprised that we use certain protocols when they should have read through them, etc.
4.) Criticizing me in front of teammates over mistakes other people also make; they will say that this is helping me improve, that they care about how I'm performing. Funny, I don't see them criticizing my other team member in the same way. The criticism is putting me on the defensive, which just makes it impossible to sit down and have a nice relaxed talk with them like friendly coworkers. Indirectly, their complaining may be leading to my superiors to start doubting my abilities. I never publicly complain about them or throw them under the bus, yet I feel like it may be happening to me?
Example: I have a quota of 15 papers to file and get criticized for making filing errors on 3 of them. The other team member needs to complete 25 but gets a comforting pat on the back even though they only finished 17.
5.) Similar to #4, Refusing to take blame if they were involved in something. Their excuse: let's not play the blame game or start throwing blame around. Then as soon as I'm to blame for something that policy goes out the window and they criticize me for everything I mess up on.
6.) Expecting me to adopt their new methods and ideas right away. If I don't they give me this disgusted look and roll their eyes. It can be over simple things like how to mix solutions or how to enter information. If I try to be assertive with them and defend my method of doing things they become less willing to work with me. It seems like they always want it their way, all the time and dislike people that stand up for themselves.
So here I am not sure what to do. If I bring up all these points at work I'm sure it will lead to a pretty bad argument and put my job on the line. We've already had team discussions and my boss before to resolve stuff like this but it hasn't worked apparently. Not sure what I can do here that is productive. My boss knows that I want to improve the situation and it's been clearly communicated that we are slowly resolving this. Any advice on how to deal with a micro-managing, overly aggressive coworker?