A Long Read...Siblings

Hello everyone.. I am really lost here...

I come from a close family. Myself and 2 female siblings. I always thought we were a close family. My parents passed away 4 years ago 6 months apart. They were both traumatic deaths and took a lot to get through. Myself and my youngest sister (13 year gap) were caregivers as my middle sister (4yrs) lived in another state. Now my youngest sister has never been nice to me. I am 55. She has constantly put me down. Questioned my character. My dating skills... My parenting abilities to my 20 yr old son... (he is a great kid and we are best friends). She has done this for years. While my parents were sick and in hospitals and nursing homes for 16 months, she constantly called into question my sincerity... my interest in there well being. At one point she sent a scathing email to my sister and I trashing us both... Questioning again my parenting skills.... my relationship with my sons mother.. my sons mother.. my sister and all of her foibles.. My sister shot back.. teared a strip off of her and it was settled between them... I just stayed silent as I couldnt believe the email.. nothing has changed between us

Last Christmas I had my extended family for dinner including my young sister. All went well I though.. Then months go by and I here nothing from my younger sister.. I am talking to my other sister from out of state as she is coming for a visit in July with here daughter. I asked her what we were all going to do. She said she would split her time between myself and my younger sister. I asked why and she said my younger sister thought it best that we not all hang together. I asked why... She said that my younger sister felt I had anger issues.. I said where would she come up with an idea like that. She mentioned the prior Christmas and how I had carried on. I was blown away and said that nothing happened. This stuck with me forever as I truly wondered if had blocked something out or had drank too much lol. July comes around.. my sister comes up...we all decide to bbq at my house. I am in my kitchen with my younger sister.. we start to converse which turns to arguing... I walk out onto my deck and she follows to mins later and tells my sister I called her a F****N . I didn't. Anyways the whole trip was a sham.

This anger thing really stuck with me as I think we all have those moments when we get animated.... But I dont know where she got this opinion...This past Thanksgiving I was with the same people that were at my house this past Xmas and I told them what my sister said. They laughed and called her crazy. They said they all had a wonderful time and I was the consummate host, and that nothing like that ever happened. So today my younger sister left to visit my middle sister for Xmas. I sent my middle sister a Xmas card 2 weeks ago and have not gotten an acknowledgement of getting it or a thank you. I am really sad as I feel my younger sister has turned my middle sister against me and family is all we have...I know I should feel like I am doing nothing wrong and turn and walk away but they are family and my mother and father would be disgusted with there behaviour. This Xmas isnt turning out to great ....

For your own sanity, step away from this family drama and sibling rivalry. Be grateful for your own family and friends. Enjoy your stress and drama free Christmas this year. Focus on your son. That is your real family now. Are you dating anyone seriously?

today my younger sister left to visit my middle sister for Xmas. I sent my middle sister a Xmas card 2 weeks ago and have not gotten an acknowledgement of getting it or a thank you. I am really sad as I feel my younger sister has turned my middle sister against me and family is all we have.

Havent really dated much since my parents died..

I'm so sorry to read this. After losing your folks, the kids are usually looking at each other for the support needed to get through the that kind of trauma.

I agree with Wiseman2 - focus on your own family, and try to ignore the drama and ire that seems to have manifested. As much as it hurts, sometimes you have to step away, even if it's family. I have recently had to write my own brother off as much as I hated to do it, and he is my only surviving family member. You can't keep the peace if the parties aren't willing to listen to reason. You can only do so much.

Family isn't always about blood. Family is whom you wish to invite into your most intimate, innermost circle.

Take some comfort in knowing you took the high road. And don't feel regret if you do decide to sever ties if necessary; you have to consider your own sanity and well-being, and maintaining relations with your son and other important people in your life. ☺