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What have you done when your relationship is getting in the way of your success


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So i am a young man 21 years old , ive graduated high school where i was an athlete in multiple sports, i then went on to college to further my academics , i stayed in college honestly for a year and ended up getting evicted for my on campus partying habits, which caused me to return home because i had no place to stay at the time so i moved back in with my parents, i come from a predominantly military family on both side my family is very strict as well as religious so ive always been on a tight rope ,ive recently been enganged recently and ive posted about my doubts and what the probles are that i see now and in the future, ive always had my heart on joining the military starting my own businesses writing books etc when the time was right for me but as ive been getting older im realizing that the right time is the time you make for the things you want to do , my question is what has anyone out there had to do in order to get that extra motivation and will to want to do these things sometimes i get myself to be spectacular but lately ive been in such a funk due to the fact that i have gotten in this relationship, i know relationships are supposed to build you and help you become stronger but it seems lately that ive been affected by my significant others attitude and abilities to not want to do anything , my question is, what have you also done when your relationship is getting in the way of your career money and education, im just looking to get back to my old self and enjoy life and become successful i obviously care about the person im with i just want to know rather or not i can make the relationship work as well as pursue my career and ambitions that i set out to accomplish.

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If a relationship is too confining or bringing you down, then it would be best to end it. However motivation comes from within. No one can be the wind in your sails if you are in the doldrums and don't know how to tack and navigate for yourself.

 

You'll need to start getting your own act together with regard to career direction, training, living independently and financial choices.

 

Start by either getting some career training, getting into the military or getting back in college as well as having a job for things like cars, extra cash etc..

So i am a young man 21 years old i stayed in college honestly for a year and ended up getting evicted for my on campus partying habits. my family is very strict as well as religious so ive always been on a tight rope. lately ive been in such a funk due to the fact that i have gotten in this relationship, i know relationships are supposed to build you and help you become stronger but it seems lately that ive been affected by my significant others attitude and abilities to not want to do anything.
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I think a good relationship should help you become a better person. If your current relationship is too confining or demanding, it may be time to re-examine your priorities. In my experience, a relationship that takes so much effort to maintain that there is little time for anything else will implode in the long-run. Yes, all relationships take work and involve sacrifice, but it shouldn't take so much out of you that you're unable to progress in life.

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I have read your previous thread, and franky was quite appalled by your girlfriend's behavior as well as her mom's.

 

Quite dysfunctional and unhealthy to say the least.

 

Since you have ONLY been dating three months, my advice is to break things off and focus on your life. Staying will not allow you to do this, you will remain stuck and unhappy, unable to move forward.

 

These early stages (first few months) are the time to evaluate whether or not someone is right for us.

 

It is not the time to twist yourself into a pretzel in an attempt to make something dysfunctional that brings you down into something functional that lifts you up, enhances your life and makes you happy.

 

That comes later after you have spent enough time together and developed trust.

 

So, imo the only choice you have is to walk away.

 

Since it has only been three months, which is a mere blip in the grand scheme of things, you should be able to bounce back quickly. And move forward with your life, including joining the military which is your dream and furthering your education.

 

And don't worry about her, she will just find herself another *chump* to carry her load and get her out of her grandma's basement.

 

Don't be that guy, you sound way too intelligent and together to allow a woman to use you like that.

 

Wishing you the best as you move forward!

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End it. Any relationship worth having is one that does not get in the way of your success in life, it enhances and makes it all more possible and better.

 

Anything else is a giant waste of your time and you don't always get back the opportunities you turned away, because someone else didn't want you to have any success. Like my turning down a trip to Tibet, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, because the ex who was cheating on me at the time decided his control issues were more important, so he proposed to me. And made a huge deal out of how I just couldn't fly off right then, because he was finally asking me. Of course as soon as he knew the trip was canceled yup, so was the marriage over some "work thing" emergency, which turned out to be him trying to date a coworker behind my back.

 

I have never forgiven myself for that. Don't be me. Tell this girl either she is with you 1000 percent or there's the door, and you go and you take the opportunities and success right now. Besides it's only been three months of dating her. Are you really so milktoast that all it takes is someone you're still getting to know saying they don't want you to do something to stop you?

 

If so you need to seriously rethink what your dreams for success are and you need to understand there will always be people trying to scotch what you're doing. Sorry, that's just planet earth. No one with any degree of success in history just up and walked away from their dreams for success, because someone they knew a scant three months or heck even three years told them to do so.

 

Short answer - dump her. And don't look back. The right person will encourage you to push harder and farther than you even dreamed possible.

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