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Thread: Just came back from a first date. Why do I always doubt myself after?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    That's fair, but what's the worst case? Say nothing, no date. Put yourself out there, maybe get a date and start something great!
    Totally agree. It's at least worth a shot and worst case scenario she declines, move on no harm done.

  2. #12
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    Yeah, don't worry about the possible rejection too much. One date is easy to get over.

  3. #13
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    Gotta try! I have gotten the "thanks but no thanks" response too. It's a numbers game. If she doesn't respond, don't take it hard. Just move on and keep going. You will find someone.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Almira23
    Yeah, don't worry about the possible rejection too much. One date is easy to get over.
    Yup, that I'm not worried about. I would just rather have someone say "I wasn't feeling it" or something like that rather than having false hope that's all. But everyone is different I guess.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member notalady's Avatar
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    Just came back from a first date. Why do I always doubt myself after?

    Originally Posted by mgsportsfan252
    I guess usually I would at least get some sort of response but I see your point. I don't see it as the end all be all.

    I should maybe edit what I originally said. I said I had a great time and asked if she would like to meet up again and she said yes that would be great (something like that). But she didn't say what you said "nice meeting you thanks for dinner." I will wait a day or two and then just throw it out there and see what happens. I don't want to come off as clingy or needy.

    The last date a I went on a couple of weeks ago, I suggested meeting up again and she agreed but later when I suggested a date she declined saying she didn't feel the spark. So that might be why I felt a little uneasy after this date.
    I think you should stop overthinking and just ask her if you want to.

    Most guys I met that were genuinely interested in me, asked me for a second date at the end of the first date (in person or via text). It's not clingy or needy, it's called being interested.

    Believe me, it's not a turn off to someone who is reciprocal to your interest.

    On the other hand, someone who isn't interested would've said no or found an excuse or agreed to meet but cancels or whatever regardless of when and how you ask.

    P.S. I think it's been discussed in another thread here but wait too long and the woman will take it as you're not that interested and probably focused on dating others, and will move on. Also remembering it's easier to arrange a second date when the good memories of the first date is still fresh. Wait too long and they might just lose interest anyway. So definitely don't wait a week. I wouldn't wait more than a day or two max.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by notalady
    P.S. I think it's been discussed in another thread here but wait too long and the woman will take it as you're not that interested and probably focused on dating others, and will move on. Also remembering it's easier to arrange a second date when the good memories of the first date is still fresh. Wait too long and they might just lose interest anyway. So definitely don't wait a week. I wouldn't wait more than a day or two max.
    I wasn't planning on waiting a week but maybe a couple of days. I don't want to annoy her while she is finishing up her finals, but maybe Weds/Thursday I will send a text about planning a possible second date and see what happens.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    She may find it really cute/sweet if you shoot her a text wishing her good luck on her exams

  9. #18
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    If I don't hear from a guy in 2-3 days after a date, his number got deleted. When I say hear, I mean he nailed down the next date with me - date time place. If that needs to be a week or two out because of life, so be it. Regardless we have a date. In between a little lite texting or a phone call here and there works great.

    Most guys in my experience will absolutely nail down a date at the end of the first one or the very next day when genuinely interested. Confident guys don't worry about playing it cool, they play it straightforward, as in "Here is what I'd like, are you interested or not?".

  10. #19
    Platinum Member notalady's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If I don't hear from a guy in 2-3 days after a date, his number got deleted. When I say hear, I mean he nailed down the next date with me - date time place. If that needs to be a week or two out because of life, so be it. Regardless we have a date. In between a little lite texting or a phone call here and there works great.

    Most guys in my experience will absolutely nail down a date at the end of the first one or the very next day when genuinely interested. Confident guys don't worry about playing it cool, they play it straightforward, as in "Here is what I'd like, are you interested or not?".
    So much this.

  11. #20
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If I don't hear from a guy in 2-3 days after a date, his number got deleted. When I say hear, I mean he nailed down the next date with me - date time place. If that needs to be a week or two out because of life, so be it. Regardless we have a date. In between a little lite texting or a phone call here and there works great.

    Most guys in my experience will absolutely nail down a date at the end of the first one or the very next day when genuinely interested. Confident guys don't worry about playing it cool, they play it straightforward, as in "Here is what I'd like, are you interested or not?".
    Thanks for the feedback. I think to save myself from anymore anxiety I will send her a text tonight to setup a second date and see what happens. If she declines so be it at least I put myself out there and showed genuine interest. And if she agrees then even better

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