Haven't heard from him in 5 days?

Been out with a guy 4 times, things were going well, but last week he said he'd be out of town for the weekend but that he wanted to see me again. Now I haven't heard from him in 5/6 days. Is he not that into me?

Is he still out of town? Have you contacted him?

Maybe he's not. But don't worry too much about it. He'll get in touch if he's interested.

No he should be back by now. I haven't contacted him because I had a moment of neediness last week so I don't want to look desperate.

What upsets me is ideas of "timelines" and such-and-such that gauge a guy's interest.

You're only dating. U just met. He isn't obligated to contact you.

Just keep it in perspective....

Probably not that interested if he's been back and not been in touch.

You're only dating. U just met. He isn't obligated to contact you.

 

Just keep it in perspective....

I know it's early to expect a lot of contact. But I'm worried that he won't ever contact me again. Surely he would if he said he wanted to?

Probably not that interested if he's been back and not been in touch.

Would a guy continue to be flirty and say he wanted to see you again, and then not?

Many people change their minds after 4 dates. Who asked for the first 4? Unless there is a time/place plan for a 5th date assume there is no date -"I'll call you" doesn't count. So when you date, have a blast on the date, assume it's a last one unless there's a time/place plan for another one.

He asked for the first 4, but I have initiated conversation every once in a while. He wouldn't have changed his mind because of the date-- he was in touch with me afterwards in an encouraging way. Now I just haven't heard since he went on that trip.

Many people change their minds after 4 dates. Who asked for the first 4? Unless there is a time/place plan for a 5th date assume there is no date

How long have you been dating? Did he mention staying in touch before he left? Did he see an ex or meet with someone on his trip? Have you tried texting him?

Been out with a guy 4 times. he wanted to see me again. Now I haven't heard from him in 5/6 days.

How long have you been dating? Did he mention staying in touch before he left? Did he see an ex or meet with someone on his trip? Have you tried texting him?

Haha, I had the thought of an ex or other girl too. Which is fine since we've only been out 4 times. Our first date was a month ago but the first 2 were spaced out, because I wasn't that into him till the third date. I didn't expect to hear from him on his trip, but I did expect to hear from him by now.

I haven't texted him. Should I? I'm reluctant because I got a little needy/clingy for a second last week so I don't want to push.

He asked for the first 4, but I have initiated conversation every once in a while. He wouldn't have changed his mind because of the date-- he was in touch with me afterwards in an encouraging way. Now I just haven't heard since he went on that trip.

 

I wouldn't have suggested this six months ago, but my new relationship is teaching me a lot.

So, since he has initiated the first four dates, why not send a quick text asking if he's back and how was his trip?

Be breezy, light and casual about it -- confident!

Do not display any anxiety, or need for reassurance, that should NOT be why you are texting. He will pick that up in a second and will turn him off.

Men need women to show interest too, so by texting him asking how was his trip (with maybe a at the end), you are indicating interest.

Not in a needy clingy way, but because you genuinely want to know how his trip was, and to get together again!

You need to change your mindset, you are a barrel of nervous energy.

Calm down, chill.

Your attitude should be you are a happy independent girl, with a happy life, many options. And you choose HIM cause you dig him.

Whenever you feel anxious, go for a run or do yoga, always works to calm me down.

Most of your anxiety is coming from your own insecurity.

Work on that, get rid!

Since you are both multi-dating and not exclusive after 4 dates, it's possible he sensed your lack of interest and met with someone over the weekend.

You could try texting just to see what's up, but it sounds like he ghosted/moved on.

Our first date was a month ago but the first 2 were spaced out, because I wasn't that into him till the third date.

Since you are both multi

 

I'm not dating others but I will now. You really think he's ghosting? Even if he said he wanted to see me when he gets back?

Why are you so negative?

Think about your last date, you both had a great time, he said he would like to see you when he gets back, why would he ghost?

Start thinking positively, text him!! So far, HE has been doing all the work, you need to do your part too!

If he ignores or is otherwise cold in his response, then pull back and start dating others.

But for now, text him asking how was his trip.

Breezy, light casual, NOT needy. No asking for reassurance.

Dating is supposed to be fun! So make it fun and stop over-thinking and being negative.

Again, if you do your part and he does end up ignoring or rejecting, so what, will you die?

No, you will pick yourself up and carry on like we all do. That's life.

Did he usually stall out communication for 6 days? He "said" he wanted to see you, but have his actions shown that? He said that before he wanted a text-free weekend, right? Text him "how was your trip" and see what's up and if he replies.

You really think he's ghosting? Even if he said he wanted to see me when he gets back?

I agree with you that there's no reason why he wouldn't contact me but I'm not ready to reach out myself.

I wouldn't have suggested this six months ago, but my new relationship is teaching me a lot.

 

So, since he has initiated the first four dates, why not send a quick text asking if he's back and how was his trip?

 

Be breezy, light and casual about it -- confident!

 

Do not display any anxiety, or need for reassurance, that should NOT be why you are texting. He will pick that up in a second and will turn him off.

 

Men need women to show interest too, so by texting him asking how was his trip (with maybe a at the end), you are indicating interest.

 

Not in a needy clingy way, but because you genuinely want to know how his trip was, and to get together again!

 

You need to change your mindset, you are a barrel of nervous energy.

 

Calm down, chill.

 

Your attitude should be you are a happy independent girl, with a happy life, many options. And you choose HIM cause you dig him.

 

Whenever you feel anxious, go for a run or do yoga, always works to calm me down.

 

Most of your anxiety is coming from your own insecurity.

 

Work on that, get rid!

I

My take- there are hundreds of reasons why he might not contact you with almost all being nothing personal to you. He said encouraging things but unless there is a time/place plan for another date there is no next date -so your expectations aren't realistic IMHO - would have a different opinion if you were exclusively dating and had regular plans to spend weekends together etc. Watch the feet (actions) not the lips.

Certainly fine to call someone who's asked you out 4 times to your zero.

My take- there are hundreds of reasons why he might not contact you with almost all being nothing personal to you. He said encouraging things but unless there is a time/place plan for another date there is no next date -so your expectations aren't realistic IMHO - would have a different opinion if you were exclusively dating and had regular plans to spend weekends together etc. Watch the feet (actions) not the lips.

 

Certainly fine to call someone who's asked you out 4 times to your zero.

I agree. Op, you need to start being pro-active, and not reactive. It should have happened during the 3rd date, and definitely by the 4th date (be the one responsible for initiating the date). Come up with something to do (restaurant, outdoor event,...). Then, contact him (call/text) and tell him that you would like to take care of the next date, and for him to contact you to go over the details.

After that it's up to him to respond back. If he doesn't, then move on.

Well, it's fine to call him other than he said "I'll call you" - what you can do the next time is say "sounds good -and I'll also call you to see how your trip went".