My ex is back again?! PLEASE HELP!

So if you've followed my posts you know I've had quiet a time with this guy (we were together for a year, he broke up with me about 4 months ago)...ugh. So recently I asked him if he could stop contacting me because every time he sent me a message it'd lead no where and end up making me miss him again. After telling him to leave me alone I've been doing fantastic! Feeling really optimistic about the future, and I haven't missed him or really thought about him in a long time. Well of course, tonight I get a LONG message from him basically apologizing for messaging me and then ignoring me, he apologized for being a bad boyfriend in the end, he explained the reason he ignored me before was because he was afraid he'd get attached again...and then he went onto some long thing about how he valued our time together, how i was his first relationship, first love, first blah blah. He said he was sorry that his selfishness gave all of it up...? (still unsure EXACTLY why he ended things but it just seemed our relationship was causing him too much stress on top of what he was dealing with in his personal life)

I don't know what to do, I don't know what he wants from me!! How am I suppose to respond to that? I don't really want to ignored him because I just feel really guilty and it'll continue to bother me in till I do. But ugh I don't know what to do, please help!

He wants to relieve his own guilt over hurting you. It might be best to block him, then even when he sends you breadcrumbs it won't set you back.

listen to me. you are not going to feel guilty.

block him. like now.

getting over someone who dumped you and back to your old self and getting on with your life and refusing to be sucked back into misery by the guy who chose to break up with you is no cause for guilt. how would that make sense?

he chose the break up, he chose the consequences. he's free to deal with them. you've dealt with them already, you're not going back to that.

I don't know what to do, ... How am I suppose to respond to that?

You don't have to do anything. You also don't need to respond either. What for? As long as you keep responding, so will he. He broke up with you. It's over. Nothing to do but block and go full NC. Move on.

Or how about you reply in a very short message just saying the you forgive him and let him go. And after that block him. Because if he is looking to relieve his guilt - and to seek your forgiveness, - why not grant it in a few words, and after that draw the thick line and close everything for good.

Is that an option that is palatable to you? I think it should work - unless doing so would cause you some kind of internal discomfort.

Totally agree with Cap.... What he is doing is called fishing. Im sure you know what that is, but you probably didnt see it. He was throwing out hooks to see if you would bite. People have many reasons for doing it, and none of them mean that you need to respond in any way.

You will learn that your X will occasionally text you and maybe call you from time to time. This is what I like to say to someone if an X texts you.. "Read it and Delete it" then you accept that it happened and then you think nothing else from it. There is no way you are going to figure out 'why' he did, he just did. So you think nothing of it again.

You are doing GREAT!! Im happy for you and each day you are going to be happier.. its a good thing.

Dont give his text any more thought please..just accept and let it go.

Or how about you reply in a very short message just saying the you forgive him and let him go. And after that block him. Because if he is looking to relieve his guilt - and to seek your forgiveness, - why not grant it in a few words, and after that draw the thick line and close everything for good.

Is that an option that is palatable to you? I think it should work - unless doing so would cause you some kind of internal discomfort.

That's a good idea. Seems as though I'll give him the closure he needs to move on himself so I can continue to do so as well. Thanks!

sight. it will not give him closure. he will just learn that over doesn't mean over and he gets to use you for his comfort despite his decision he doesn't want you as his girlfriend.

reply, and he'll never be gone.

really boils down to whether you want to be in his good books by having no boundaries more than you want to enjoy your life without him.

btw, what closure does he want from you? he was the first to get to the closure part whn he decided he doesn't want to be with you. if he finds himself requiring more answers about dumping you, maybe he should ask himself.

Nothing. He used past tense and finality to say "he valued your time together."

I don't know what he wants from me!

btw, what closure does he want from you? he was the first to get to the closure part whn he decided he doesn't want to be with you. if he finds himself requiring more answers about dumping you, maybe he should ask himself.

Good point, didn't think about it that way.