EricPrductn Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 So about a month ago I found out that my family is having a small get together in Germany. So I am bringing my girl friend with me that I know I love with all my heart. Then I figured... what a perfect time to propose to her. So I rushed to the jeweler ASAP to get her ring made up because I know they take a long time since the one she hinted at in the past takes 6 weeks to make. However the jeweler said they can rush the order and have it ready the day before we leave. So I screwed up big time. I have a notebook I use for all my note keeping and I made several notes in there about the price of the ring and the date it's suppose to be ready and all that. And a few days ago she asked if she can take a piece of paper out of my notebook and stupid me completely forgot that my notes on the ring were in there. So she finally confessed a few nights ago that she knows. However what she doesn't know is that I picked it up already. On my note pad I have the date of pickup written as the day before we leave. But they were able to get it to me a full week ahead of time. So to try and throw her off I told her that the Jeweler called and the ring got delayed and it wont be ready in time now. And it looks like she actually bought it. But now she is all sad and being bummed out. She really got her hopes up super high. So now I am worried it might ruin most of our trip since the location I want to do it at is not till towards the end of the trip and I am worried she will be down most of the trip. I mean she has been hinting she wants to get married A LOT so I know it was something she must have been super excited about but I don't want to take away the surprise of her special day and moment when it is going to happen. So should I let her know and then we have a better possible trip but maybe ruin the moment since it wont be a surprise? Or Keep it a secret and let the big moment be a surprise but possibly have a bummed out girl friend for most of the trip? Link to comment
DaNgeRTasTiC Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Would you give your kid the toy before Christmas just because they seen it in the closet? I don't give in to spoiled children. They can wait until Christmas. If she wants to throw a fit let her....she will see how foolish she acted after you give it to her. If she learns that lesson then she is a keeper. Haha Link to comment
happyfrank Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Keep it a surprise. She will be bummed but when you get down on your knees it will be one of the happiest days of her life.. Congrats! Link to comment
gebaird Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 I recognize that your goal is to give her a happy surprise, but I'm not a person who likes mind-games. Make your girl happy. Tell her the proposal is on, but don't tell her exactly when it will be. Just sometime during the trip. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Since the cat is already out of the bag I would already go with what the previous poster said . Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Excellent idea. sorry to hear about the mix up. This is why I hate "surprising" people, surprise parties and all that stuff. So many lies and so much nonsense. Why ruin an entire trip for some "surprise"? Just propose now (that will really surprise her, if that's the effect you want) and then she will be so happy and your family can enjoy her showing off the ring and your wonderful news. This delayed and fake "surprise" is not worth the unhappiness it will cause. to try and throw her off I told her that the Jeweler called and the ring got delayed and it wont be ready in time now. And it looks like she actually bought it. But now she is all sad and being bummed out. Link to comment
DonnaSophia Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Surprising her seems to be your goal. Wouldn't giving it to her early really be a surprise? Assuming you are thinking about asking in front of your family... it's a personal question, no audience required. Ask any guy that chose a public proposal only to be turned down. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Exactly, I hate surprise crap . I am one of those women that I absolutely hates surprises . Link to comment
EricPrductn Posted December 6, 2016 Author Share Posted December 6, 2016 Well the day I wanted to do it is when her and I are going to go off on our own and be at this extremely gorgeous fairy tale castle. Where they have this little nature trail that has a waterfall and bridge going over valley and the castle in the back ground. Just the most extreme romantic possible setting ever. And I even had this huge old time lock custom made up already with our names and the date on it that we are suppose to lock on the bridge and throw the key off after words. So it was planned to be a very private event that I put a lot of time into planning to make it perfect... except for screwing up on her finding the ring info. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Then tell her it is coming,very soon in the right place and time. Very very soon. Link to comment
butterfly45 Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Would you give your kid the toy before Christmas just because they seen it in the closet? I don't give in to spoiled children. They can wait until Christmas. If she wants to throw a fit let her....she will see how foolish she acted after you give it to her. If she learns that lesson then she is a keeper. Haha Totally agree with this. If I had been her I wouldn't have told you that I found out. I've never agreed with women pressuring men into proposing. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 WHO CARES!!!! She knows know, just propose!!!!! I'd rather have a happy fiance, then a grumpy one on the trip. Link to comment
notalady Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Silly her, why did she tell you she knew?! If I knew I was getting proposed to, I would've kept it to myself and let the guy do whatever he already planned. Sometimes being smart means you need to play dumb. Revealing the truth throws everything off course. Anyway, I would tell her that sorry the ring has been delayed and the proposal will happen once you get the ring, but in the meantime you have a nice surprise planned for her on the trip, and really hope she will love it. That way it gets her mind off proposal happening before you come back from the trip, and give her something to look forward to on the trip as well, hopefully she won't be grumpy knowing that a) she'll get a proposal as soon as the ring arrives (so it's not you delaying it), and b) she knows you spent time and effort planning a nice surprise for her and hopefully she will appreciate that. Then when you propose as you originally planned, she would be surprised because she's not expecting it. Link to comment
Mari Posted December 6, 2016 Share Posted December 6, 2016 Well the day I wanted to do it is when her and I are going to go off on our own and be at this extremely gorgeous fairy tale castle. Where they have this little nature trail that has a waterfall and bridge going over valley and the castle in the back ground. Just the most extreme romantic possible setting ever. And I even had this huge old time lock custom made up already with our names and the date on it that we are suppose to lock on the bridge and throw the key off after words. So it was planned to be a very private event that I put a lot of time into planning to make it perfect... except for screwing up on her finding the ring info. Be honest with her that you have it, be vague as to when it's going to happen. Trust is worth more than surprises in a relationship. You want to make sure she can always trust you so be honest and tell her you have the ring. Just say you didn't mean to lie and wanted her to be surprised. Beyond that say you're not telling her when it's going to happen. Link to comment
No1 Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 Im still trying to figure out where the conflict is? You mean to tell me you are losing sleep because she knows about the ring? Really? This is your biggest concern? Dont lose sleep over this. Even if you kneel down to tie her shoe she is going to think you are finally going to ask her.. so pop the question to her when you want to. I have faith in you that you will do the right thing, in the right way.. dont stress Link to comment
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