Brother who gambles, is angry and smokes all day.

I have a brother that has had anger issues since he was a teenager. One time as a teenager he wanted to Stab a guy in a fight but my parents stopped him. he went to college and after graduating things went even more downhill. All the women he dates dump him and to be honest he dosent have much common sense on what is appropriate and what is not. All the money he ever had he spent on women that would use him and litterly leave himself on zero. Now that he's single all the money he made from work he gambles online. When I talk to my parents about setting boundaries for him when he's around his sisters all they care about is that he might throw a temper tantrum and he'll go to jail. He dosent brush his teeth has not been to the dentist or doctor in years. I think he's depressed, lonley and angry and it's really hard to be around him. My own mother is so sick or him. My parents are critical of him all the time but when it comes to setting boundaries they're afraid. I hate being around him but at the same time I can't help but feel sorry for him.

Then don't be around him. The boundaries your parents set up between them and him are their own business. Not saying it doesn't suck seeing a loved one squander, but they're autonomous human beings and sharing blood with them doesn't change that.

The only boundaries that you control are the ones you set for yourself regarding your relationship and involvement with your brother. As such, it might be wise for you to step away and quit trying to manage your family. You simply cannot tell other adults what to do. Your parents will make their own choices as will your brother. You don't have to like it, agree with it, etc. That's why you need to draw up some boundaries for your involvement so that their choices are not eating away at your life and well being.

How old is he? Is he working? Does he live with his parents? Do you live at home? If he lives in their house and they tolerate it that's between them.

As far as his love life, spending habits, finances and hygiene, well he's a grown man and can make his own choices, no matter how bad they seem.

Why do your parents think he may go to jail?

When I talk to my parents about setting boundaries for him when he's around his sisters all they care about is that he might throw a temper tantrum and he'll go to jail.

they think he may go to jail because he threatens to hit people..he goes into a range and is ready to fight anyone who stands in his way..he lives with my parents and smokes in their home even thought they continuously tell him to stop smoking inside...my mother seems really depressed at times because she wants him to get his own life...but you guys are right i cannot control why they dont set any boundaries with him..i need to let it go and focus on my own life...