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Thread: To Stay or Go

  1. #1
    Silver Member
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    To Stay or Go

    Ok, this is not really a very dramatic question, but i'm stressing about it nevertheless. I am in an apartment with my friend and her boyfriend. They are leaving. There are a few other people here but they keep to themselves and I pretty much never hear from them. I am in an extremely comfortable room which makes me feel happy for an extremely low price. But my friend and her boyfriend are going to leave the country (along with everyone else I know here), which will make me feel rather isolated to stay (or at least this is my fear). At the same time I love being alone, having my own space etc. and have always dreamed of living alone.

    I have the opportunity to move to a place that is slightly more expensive but is not as nice. However there are a lot of young people living there. They are mostly French people, and i have just begun to learn French, so if I want to keep up the French that would be ideal. There is a great communal living space there, but overall the apartment doesn't make me feel so peaceful as this place i am in does (I have anxiety issues, and am sensitive to my physical environment on all levels). It would be great to meet new people and get a chance to be immersed in French.

    At the same time I love privacy and there will be 10 or more people living in this new place (though my room will have a private bathroom).

    I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons and am having a really hard time deciding what to do.

    I'm tempted to go to the French house, but am afraid I won't click with the people and will feel hemmed in and more alone and depressed. But I'm leaning toward it anyway.

    Another thing is, in the place I am now it is very independent. I can bring a guy home and no one will notice or care (not that I will necessarily do this). In the other place that is not really allowed - people can visit but not spend the night.

    Anyway these are the pros and cons. Any insight or what you would do in the situation might help me make an easier decision thanks. (I'm ultimately trying to avoid falling into depression when I loose my connections and life rythm (my job is ending here - though I did find another, it is significantly less social). I don't want to become withdrawn and depressed. That is what I am trying to avoid with this decision. So yeah, anything you can offer in terms of advice could be really helpful. Thanks

    (By the way, in case it's not clear, I am abroad in a foreign country where I have been living for about 3 months.

  2. #2
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    I'd pick the thing that took me out of my comfort zone and shakes things up - it's what helps you grow. It's exciting not to know exactly what will happen - so if I were you I'd re-frame it that way and move in the French people. (As an added bonus it will help you to learn French and meet new people.) Good luck.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like your friends leaving, whom you seem too attached to is bothering you. At the same time you seem to want to combine some sort of french lessons with a living arrangement. These roommates may not want to take the time to teach you french. Do what makes sense for you rather than panic and jump in to what you believe will be a french immersion course.
    Originally Posted by lifesatrip
    I'm tempted to go to the French house, but am afraid I won't click with the people and will feel hemmed in and more alone and depressed. But I'm leaning toward it anyway.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Harrowdown's Avatar
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    Use this change that is a bit forced on you (your roommates leaving) and just go for it! Do the big change! Worst case, it doesn't work out and you move out again.

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  6. #5
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    I would stay in my place that is comfortable because it may be difficul to find again. That is, my priority would be my comfortable space as I can achieve language immersion (or at least exposure) in alternative ways. Also, this is surely a personal preference but I would not stay in any place where I am not allowed to invite guests for the night, expecially in a foreign country. This would mean I would have to go to other people's places for sex and I may not always like it or they may not have the circumstances. I prefer having my own space for my own adult life regardless of whether I use it or not. It makes me more comfortable in my head.


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