Alcohol Problems, what do I do?

Looking back I've had problems with drinking since I started college. I don’t drink every day but I have nights every so often that I just keep drinking and lose control of myself and ability to stop. I thought I had gotten better but I haven't and this year I hit two of the lowest points I ever had. I have a new boyfriend and now its threatening our relationship. We’ve been together a year and have discussed marriage and are planning on moving in together but this past weekend really threw a wrench into that.

The first issue was at a wedding about 2 months ago I ended up drinking way too much and couldn’t walk and got sick. It was at a house and the owners asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I said yes. My boyfriend was understanding after this, it had never happened before and I think he felt more bad for me than mad especially because I was so sad and embarrassed next day.

The second issue was this weekend. We went out and I hadn't eaten lunch then was buzzed before dinner so didn’t eat dinner and I once again drank way too much. This time the police decided I was too drunk as well and made me go into a holding cell for a couple hours. My boyfriend picked me up later on with a girl and we ended up getting in a huge fight probably our biggest fight ever. I didn’t understand who the girl was and why he was with her (turns out my boyfriend and friends couldn’t get me because they were too drunk and this girl was sober) He said he was done with me and breaking up with me and it was just not good. Later on he said he needs to think about what he wants and if he wants to stay with me. He now says he's not breaking up with me but he is still mad (he says he's not but its been tense and awkward and I really don’t blame him) he says he's never been in a situation like this and how it just happened two months ago and now it happened again but got a little worse.

I never want something like this to happen again but I really don’t know what to do. Should I give up drinking completely? Should I go to a therapist or AA? I also don’t know what to do to smooth things over with my boyfriend. He said he doesn’t want to discuss it anymore but i'm unsure how to make things normal again.

You spent time in jail, your bf is breaking up with you, the cops were called to a home to take you to a hospital and you are asking if you need to quit drinking, see a therapist or attend AA?

Unfortunately he's making the right choice after this last episode to reconsider the relationship. Not much you can do...except for yourself to clean up your act.

This time you didn't kill anyone driving or get charged with something, but it's only a matter of time if you are seriously asking yourself "should I stop drinking"?

I have a new boyfriend and now its threatening our relationship. This time the police decided I was too drunk as well and made me go into a holding cell for a couple hours. He said he was done with me and breaking up with me. Should I give up drinking completely? Should I go to a therapist or AA?

I remember a thread of yours awhile back described how you had a habit of getting drunk and having insecurities come up. I'd say between that and these, frankly, dangerous episodes, you should be beyond the point of asking and should be actively seeking help.

Also, how are people around you letting you drink the point of risking alcohol poisoning? May be time to reconsider your company as well.

I remember a thread of yours awhile back described how you had a habit of getting drunk and having insecurities come up. I'd say between that and these, frankly, dangerous episodes, you should be beyond the point of asking and should be actively seeking help.

 

Also, how are people around you letting you drink the point of risking alcohol poisoning? May be time to reconsider your company as well.

Having been around people who have drinking problems, I don't necessarily blame people for not stepping up and getting OP to stop drinking. If OP gets loud/hostile/aggressive while drinking, her company may feel that it's a bad idea to intervene other than maybe saying "You know, don't you think you've had enough?". Heck, in their position, I'd probably not say anything either - although I would make a point not to be around OP + alcohol.

OP, alcohol affects people differently depending on their brain chemistry and other factors. Some people just SHOULD NOT drink. If you find that you are unable to control yourself when it comes to alcohol and can't restrict yourself, then yes, maybe it's best for you not to drink. No one NEEDS to drink to have a good time.

How do you feel about staying sober?

Why haven't you sought help? You should not be drinking. At all!

Im just not sure how to go about it. This was my first step in seeing if anyone had been in a similar situation and how they handled it. I am definitely fine with staying sober, that was my plan already. I am really scared though that as time goes on and things are fine that i'll regress back into it. I never want any other issues from alcohol to happen because of me again but I really don't know what to do other than stopping. Im not sure what AA does and if therapy could help or not.

Im also worried that if I give up drinking my boyfriend wont like that either. I feel like he'll want a girlfriend he can have a couple drinks with without it being an issue but now im too nervous to try even that in case something happens again

So drinking enough to get hauled off to jail is ok because this guy may want a drinking buddy? Are you not worried about your looks or your health or your safety? Alcoholics tend to be quite ugly from all the poison they suck down.

Nothing more disgusting and unattractive than a sloppy, puking, nasty drunk in jail, no? You really think this is what he's looking for? also worried that if I give up drinking my boyfriend wont like that either. I feel like he'll want a girlfriend he can have a couple drinks with without it being an issue but now im too nervous to try even that in case something happens again

If he cares about you, he will accept that you should stay sober and respect that. If he wants you to keep drinking for his own comfort, then he's not someone worth your time.

AA holds local meetings everywhere. They give you a community of people who are also quitting drinking and committed to staying sober. Give it a go.

Long past due for you to get help and understand that you are an alcoholic. Alcoholism isn't defined by frequency of drinking, but by the results. Specifically, that when you start drinking you keep craving more, can't stop. The fact that you've been hospitalized, jailed even, the fact that it's wrecking your life and relationships. Your form of alcoholism is what's known as binge drinking and it's quite common for alcoholics to go for long stretches without drinking at all, but once they start, can't stop and will drink until drunk or sick or both.

Yes, you do need to go and make an appointment with a psychiatrist who actually specializes in addiction (do not go to some generalist, they won't have a clue). You do need to join AA and start going to every meeting. Above all else, you must not touch even a single drop of alcohol ever again because you don't want to wreck your life and your future.

As for your bf, you don't need to discuss anything with him. You need to show him that you mean to get this under control for good. Of course he is silent and in shock. He just realized his gf is an alcoholic. So now the question is on you. Are you going to quit drinking? Are you going to get the help that you need? He doesn't need your promises, he needs to see you go to AA and counseling. He needs to see you trash all liquor from your house. He needs to see you never touch another drop ever again.

Im also worried that if I give up drinking my boyfriend wont like that either. I feel like he'll want a girlfriend he can have a couple drinks with without it being an issue but now im too nervous to try even that in case something happens again

Please don't start creating these kinds of nonsense excuses for yourself about why you shouldn't stop drinking. YOU don't need to touch a drop. He can have a drink when you two are out. He is also free to drink when out with the boys, etc. There is no issue so long as YOU keep away from drinking and it's something that you need to do for yourself and your own health and well being.

Your boyfriend, I guarantee you, will not hang about after a third episode of you wasted. He will walk away. So don't kid yourself about "needing" to drink to keep him company.

Yes, there's a chance your boyfriend won't want to date someone who can't control their alcohol consumption. If not, it is what it is. This is strictly about you and your mental and physical health.

AA is a good step from an very basic group therapy perspective, but it is ultimately faith-based with no science at all supporting its efficacy. You should always pursue some form of individualized, professional therapy when you find yourself having issues of substance abuse. You owe it to yourself not to take any shortcuts.

Unfortunately, alcoholism runs prevalent on one side of my family. I have family members who have had great results by going to AA meetings and are still sober to this day. They speak of how much more enjoyable and fulfilling their lives are now without alcohol. People at the AA meetings will be able to guide you on how best to proceed from this point on. If you will be tempted by alcohol by attending particular activities until you feel you have willpower, you might want to alter your social activities. You can go to the movies or to the mall with a gf. Your bf can still go out for a drink with the guys now and then without you. If he wants to help you, he can go to an al anon meeting to be guided on how to be a good partner during the process.

Many people have to hit rock bottom before realizing they need to do something proactive. This is the case for you, so go to an AA meeting today. They occur every day of the week and usually have many locations to choose from. You can do this. Good luck.

PLease check out AA now. Dont wait. I'm surprised you feel you need to ask. Go to a meeting and learn how they help people like you. Of course you need to quit drinking forever. If you think therapy could help, along with AA, then do that too.

Im also worried that if I give up drinking my boyfriend wont like that either. I feel like he'll want a girlfriend he can have a couple drinks with without it being an issue but now im too nervous to try even that in case something happens again

I think you should focus on what's good for you. Getting so drunk that you have to be hospitalized and jailed, shows that their is a HUGE problem. You are not capable of handling alcohol.