Shekmot Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Hi Me and my ex broke up 9 months ago after 1.5 year. We had an amazing relationship but on last few days of our relationship we had few arguments. He told me from the beginning that he doesn't like to have arguments, but at age of 36 and 33 everyone has arguments about little or big things. Our arguments never turned to a fight and they were just very very simple disagreements. Another problem he had with me was my job. He didn't want me to be in hospitality and he wanted me to be corporate chick. Another issue was me running a generic disorder in our family, he wanted to have healthy kids which is fair enough. Anyway we broke up and we couldn't stay away from each other for months. He started dating a medical doctor girl long distance (a friend set them up) and I started dating but we were always looking for an excuse to see each other and we always had an amazing time even after breakup. We had no intimacy excet one time(in 8 months) At some stage he saw a psychologist because he couldn't decide if it's a good idea to get back to each other or not. Apparently psychologist said it's unwise to get back together. Anyway 2 months ago I did the generic test and I am totally fine and I'm not carrying the gene. I had few good interviews and I will get a good job soon (for my sake) I called him sayin my test results were fine. He said he is not ready to make a decision yet and that was our last phone call 2 months ago. We are sharing few common friends, last week was my friend's birthday and he was invited too, but he didn't show up. He had to take care of his sick friend which was actually true but I wasn't sure. I messaged him after, saying I am ok to see him if I was the reason for not showing up and I said I moved on and it won't be awkward if I see him somewhere. 2 days ago he created a group on Facebook involving me and 2 other couples and invited us to his home gathering. I was absolutely shocked when ai saw his invitation for such a small gathering. I would love to go, but I don't want to get hurt again. If I don't go, I will see him the week after at another party that we are both invited. BTW that medical doctor that he was dating got married last week. Do you think I should go to his gathering? Do you think he is just invited me because he wanted to respect me? Do you see a chance of him coming back to me? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 This guy sounds like a control freak doucebag. Consider yourself lucky and stay away from him. Link to comment
Clio Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 It doesn't sound like he is interested in you as more than a friend /ego boost. Frankly, he doesn't sound like a nice person and your relationship dynamic sounds one-sided and unhealthy. Wanting you to be a corporate chick indicates a man who views their partner as a trophy. Plus, he was not willing to resolve disagreements. It was his way or the highway. Imo, no you should not go to his gathering. You should avoid him at all costs. This man is not good for you and sadly you are clearly still stuck on him. Whatever the reason he invited you for, it doesn't really change what broke you two apart. Lack of communication/ lack of acceptance/ lack of respect. You need to find someone who accepts you as you are not someone who undermines your self-esteem making you jump through hoops. I don't see a chance of him coming back to you for good. He is just between medical doctors/whatever career woman he thinks he deserves. He is searching for a trophy wife who will always agree with him. Such people are toxic and exhausting. You need to think long and hard why you are still after this guy, having seen his true colors. You have nothing to prove to him. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Ironically, the medical doctor probably wanted better than what he was. Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 As someone who's stuck on their ex as well, don't get sucked in by this guy again. You will have to go through the same pain again that you did the first time..... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Stay away! He didn't accept you for who you were before, he will find something new now. He didn't love you!!! Find someone less controlling, and never morph yourself into what someone else wants you to be. If you return, you are walking back to pain. Your choice. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 Unfortunately you were extremely incompatible on almost every level. Why continue to cheat on your current respective partners so you can see each other after he dumped you for having "genetic conditions in the family"? What is the genetic condition he rejected you for? Why demote yourself to fwb, after he tells you you are not good enough for him? it sounds like since he keeps telling you he doesn't want to get back together he only invited You because he just got dumped and wants another hookup. Are you still seeing the currect bf? It would be best to stop communicating with someone who repeatedly rejects you and stop socializing with him. Also block him from all social media. That way, you can finally heal from this and move on to someone who actually accepts you and wants a relationship.age of 36 and 33. we broke up and we couldn't stay away from each other for months. I started dating but we were always looking for an excuse to see each other and we always had an amazing time even after breakup. We had no intimacy excet one time I would love to go, but I don't want to get hurt again. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted December 5, 2016 Share Posted December 5, 2016 It's not an amazing relationship when it's his way or the highway and if he doesn't get his way, he will blame you for being argumentative and dump you. As if that's not bad enough, he doesn't respect you for who you are and what you do. If he wants a corporate chic, he should date one. I bet he can't find one or rather they see what a sick creep he is and dump him. If he is actually circling back to you, it's only because he has run out of options at the moment as other women run away screaming from him. Keep in mind also, that a guy like him not only will mind fck you, but likely will drop you like a hot rock the second a better option appears on his horizon. Please wise up and cut this sicko out of your life for good. Do not go to this event and actually delete him from your social media and lose his number. He has displayed some seriously bad red flags and if you make the mistake of getting involved with him deeper, you will pay a very steep price for that. I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy. That's how bad the red flags are in his case. Link to comment
Shekmot Posted December 14, 2016 Author Share Posted December 14, 2016 Thank you so much for your replies. I'm really happy that I found this forum Link to comment
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