Should I break up with him or disappear?

I flew out for thanksgiving to visit my boyfriend. We live in different states. Two days before I was scheduled to leave, I saw some suspicious information. He had multiple social media accounts. The most recent one had only 8 females. I asked him what was going on, etc. He denied being active, said I was acting ridiculous. I decided to go see him for Thanksgiving. Thankfully I did because otherwise I would not have caught him. He had been speaking to multiple females.

Naturally I went stark raving mad. I threw the pies I baked off his balcony and we argued the next couple of days. This is my first time dealing with a cheater. Even after he got caught he lied to my face about the reasoning behind speaking to one of the girls. He made up some bull story. I caught him in that lie because he got drunk at one point and the truth came out. Because of this I don't doubt that he has actually slept with other girls. He has some history of telling little white lies. Upon finding this out I told him, if he ever lied to me it's over. I am convinced he is a manipulator because there was a point where he broke down on me with a sob story of his own. It had nothing to do with the reason for cheating- it was all about him.

Now, (conveniently) he is on a ship for 3 weeks with no service. I have these 3 weeks to come to a decision. He goes on deployment shortly after. Obviously I'm leaving. I'm just debating on how I should end things? Whether I should officially declare it's over, or whether I should just "ghost" him. This isn't about being the bigger person, it's more about what's going to hurt/mess with him more. I want him to feel some pain and loss. A part of me feels like I don't owe him the courtesy of ending things because he didn't give me the courtesy or respect of being honest with me. He had mentioned if i ended things that he would like a phone call because he considers a text "rude".

Either way he is going to reach out. Disappearing might just result in a bit more harassment. I know it sounds childish but I don't want him to move on to the next female with ease. I want him to learn a lesson. So which one will leave more of a lasting impression on him?

I would appreciate some perspectives and or stories or people who have disappeared vs. ending things. P.S.- I'm really good at no contact. I've never gone back to an ex so just throwing that out there.

Just be done. He knows that you are upset, he will figure it out. Next time, act on the red flags. Don't ignore.

Block and delete.

You're over thinking this. Keep in mind that he cheated on you, therefore it's a case of "Here's your hat, what's your hurry?" Good riddance!

I'm overthinking this because I don't want him to have any sort of closure..

if I block him he will know I am just ignoring him. I will still be able to see those messages.

If I change my phone number it will aggravate and shock him. The only downfall is I won't be able to get any validation from his texts, even if it is all lies to try and rope me back in.

I'm sorry, but it appears what you have in mind is playing a game, rather than breaking up and moving forward. The bottom line is you're still hanging on, which is your choice.

Haven't you wasted enough energy on this guy! I don't understand how you can see messages if you block. Doesn't make sense.

What you want to do is to try and force him to care and feel pain for your loss. Unfortunately with these type of men, they don't care. If he did, he wouldn't have cheated.

He will more than likely move onto the next female no matter how you break up with him. After all, he is a player and his feelings were never as serious as you had hoped nor as genuine as yours.

Block, move on, don't waste anymore time on him.

I have an android which means I can access the messages from my spam box if I choose to.

You're right Sherrysher..but I know that he will pretend to act apologetic. Should I consider changing my phone number? I think I'm just going to block but I don't want to be harassed. And by that i mean using another number or having his friends text me or call.

I'm overthinking this because I don't want him to have any sort of closure..

if I block him he will know I am just ignoring him. I will still be able to see those messages.

If I change my phone number it will aggravate and shock him. The only downfall is I won't be able to get any validation from his texts, even if it is all lies to try and rope me back in.

Why play all these games? What's the point? It's like a young teen in high school. Be adult about it and break up. Then block. Job done. Move on and never, ever contact again.

"I threw the pies I baked off his balcony and we argued the next couple of days." You go girl. I would ghost him.